abarda Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 Hey everyone! Sorry, this is probably TMI but I really need some advice. I'm 20 male, pretty sure about my asexuality cause never REALLY wanted sex. I thought about sex but always from aside. When i was younger, i probably thought i want it but not really, like it's something which i should want, so why not? (As i understand it now). So, my problem is with precum. You see, if i really into someone (romantically or even platonically), my body starts producing a lot of precum, as if it wants sex or just waiting for it. It happens not so often, like once a year or two. But if it happens, precum is always here, even if I just fond of someone else, not this person. Does anybody have something similar? Does it mean that I'm not so ace and just pretending? I'm scared and confused, please help! (Sorry for my English, it's not my native!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 In all likelihood this is a situation of arousal nonconcordance, which is basically when your body is "into" something but your mind is not. Happens to lots of people at some point or another, not even just aces. By itself, it doesn't really mean anything. Bodies can get turned on from sitting on a running washing machine, from sexual assault/rape, etc. What matters is if it's something you want, not just your body responding to a stimulus. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 People sit on running washing machines.....? Is that like to keep the machine from moving too much or something? As for the question, pretty much whats stated above. Body reacts, mind doesnt give crap; no need to feel like in a trap. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slice of Ace Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 Hi, I get aroused around people I like too. Like they said above, it's probably arousal nonconcordance. The way I understand it is that arousal is physical, attraction is mental. So if your body sees, hears, or feels something related to or associated with sex, it will prepare itself (by arousal, precum etc.) no matter your orientation. It doesn't mean you want sex; that's for you to decide. I found this video helpful. It's not about asexuality, but it makes a pretty good distinction between arousal and actually wanting something: Spoiler 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarda Posted December 28, 2019 Author Share Posted December 28, 2019 Just now, Slice of Ace said: Hi, I get aroused around people I like too. Like they said above, it's probably arousal nonconcordance. The way I understand it is that arousal is physical, attraction is mental. So if your body sees, hears, or feels something related to or associated with sex, it will prepare itself (by arousal, precum etc.) no matter your orientation. It doesn't mean you want sex; that's for you to decide. I found this video helpful. It's not about asexuality, but it makes a pretty good distinction between arousal and actually wanting something: Reveal hidden contents Thanks for response and the video. I'm glad that's not just me. Have a good day y'all! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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