Rae160 Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 For the past 9 years I have identified as Asexual but now I’m not so sure. I get a feeling of importance when getting attention online from guys but when asked to meet all my feelings just disappear like they never existed. I can imagine myself having sex but in reality I’m never interested. could I be Lithsexual or something else? Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 Lithsexual means wanting to give but not receive sexual pleasure, so that doesn't seem like the right word. Fraysexual is a word some people use to describe people who feel sexual attraction at the very beginning but it quickly goes away. I don't know if that's really the term for this, though (based on my interpretation, which may be wrong). What it seems like to me is that you enjoy attention and flirting as an activity, but have no desire for anything to actually happen. When people take your flirting seriously, the fun is gone because you like to play pretend. The moment is ruined for you. I have certainly had times when that has been the case for me. It took me a long time to realize I'm asexual, partly because of this. But having a fun time making flirty conversation ultimately did nothing to stimulate sexual desire/attraction, and so it's still compatible with my asexuality. It really comes down to how much of the joy you get from flirting seems to come from deep within that satisfies a need of a sexual nature, and how much is just for funsies. Link to post Share on other sites
J-RO Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 Hey there, as someone who has lith leanings myself, I'm interested in seeing where this convo goes. I'm not huge into definitively labeling myself as too much other than ace, and more concerned with figuring out what works for me, so whether you can put a name to it, I hope you find what your looking for on this issue! So when you say those feelings disappear, are they replaced by anything or just kinda "poof"? And if you say you can imagine it, are you maybe getting put off by what you assume the other person is gonna behave like? (not like that would be an unfair assumption, we all know how some people can be online, especially in the context of interacting with ace people) Link to post Share on other sites
Pieter Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 On 12/28/2019 at 3:04 AM, Rae160 said: For the past 9 years I have identified as Asexual but now I’m not so sure. I get a feeling of importance when getting attention online from guys but when asked to meet all my feelings just disappear like they never existed. I can imagine myself having sex but in reality I’m never interested. could I be Lithsexual or something else? I have similar confusing experiences; thinking I was demi because it took a couple of months before I thought I wanted sexual stuff with a partner, but on the moment i did not. The explanation that fits my situation where I like the flirting including explicit messages and building of a fantasy but once the moment is there I don't want it. I only want the fantasy, I am averse to reality. So I identify as lautochorisexual I found it 5 years after I realised I was asexual Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 On 12/28/2019 at 3:21 AM, Snao Cone said: Lithsexual means wanting to give but not receive sexual pleasure, so that doesn't seem like the right word. Hm, I always thought it meant feeling sexually attracted to someone, but only until those feelings are being reciprocated. Or not wishing them to be reciprocated. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 35 minutes ago, kiaroskuro said: Hm, I always thought it meant feeling sexually attracted to someone, but only until those feelings are being reciprocated. Or not wishing them to be reciprocated. It's also used for that. Either way, it's not what the OP is describing. Link to post Share on other sites
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