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What the hell am I?


alto

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So I identify strongly with the aromantic community, with one little problem.  I get crushes.  I don't get butterflies in my stomach, but I can get rather obsessed with people (i'm autistic).

 

I hate kissing.  I also hate sex.  I love cuddling though, it can be very satisfying.  I imagine I could also tolerate kisses on the cheek, flowers, stuff like that from my "beloved".  When i've gotten crushes in the past, I have never cared if they reciprocated those feelings.  I have come to care a bit more as I get older, but I still think I care less about that than other people do.

 

I welcome any theories you may have, and all the questions you can ask.

 

Update:  So I can basically summarize my orientation as, I love people but I would rather our love took a "just friends" form.

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Galactic Turtle

You can experience romantic attraction while also not experiencing the stereotypical desires that come with it such as sex, kissing, candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, hand holding, sharing a bed, looking deeply into the eyes of another person and reciting poetry. :P 

 

A friend of mine really goes off the deep end when it comes to crushes. Once she stalked a guy for an entire school year flailing about when he so much as breathed. Despite this she is daunted by the thought of being in a real romantic relationship. She's very much like the protagonist of a very PG anime or manga where after the big love confession... they hug. 

 

Regardless, in the rare times she actually has made her feelings known (mostly by accident) she's been rejected. Eventually rejection happened so much she instead directed her affections to a K-pop boyband and hasn't looked back.

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Yeah...I feel like i'm aromantic, but I happen to get crushes.

 

I know that is the definition of a romantic.

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You should look up the term 'squish'! It's like a platonic crush and is often confused with a romantic one! I also recommend looking up alterous attraction, to see if that might be something you can relate to. 

There are also some aro people who identify as 'lithromantic', which means that they can feel romantic attraction without wanting it to be reciprocated or wanting to act on it.

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