Jump to content
Ita25

Uncomfortable feeling when aroused

Recommended Posts

Ita25

I am absolutely Asexual so maybe this isn't the right place to post this, but I thought the arousal discussion might belong in here. 

 

I have no desire for sex, but I do have a fetish that causes immediate arousal. Some nights before I go to bed I'll write fantasy stories involving this fetish because it makes me feel good, but something weird happens as I'm just getting into it. Just before I get to my full state of arousal, I feel bizarre. I have a hard time describing it, but I kind of get a weird feeling in my stomach. Have you ever seen a dog shake off after getting wet? Well I kinda do that like to get past the weird feeling, and once I'm past it, I just dive into my writing and stay aroused the rest of the time, then I finish and my arousal goes down and I go to bed. 

 

The feeling is almost a mix between a "good" feeling and an uncertain feeling. Like I'm doing something that's not normal for me so it's my bodies way of reacting. I've also never masturbated, I've just never started. Maybe that's my bodies way of trying to get me to masturbate? I will admit, many nights that I do this will lead to me waking up the next morning discovering I had a "release" while I was sleeping. My bodies way of making up for the fact that I didn't masturbate despite being so aroused? Idk. 

 

Has anyone experienced ANYTHING like this personally? It's probably just me lol. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross

Sounds a bit like self impossed guilt

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm

I don't know if it's the same thing, but I get what I like to describe as a neurochemical cascade - when getting into a state of 'arousal', it feels like it triggers my brain to release a flood of chemicals that I usually don't bother with, and it travels through the rest of my system kind of like goosebumps. A full body shake like you describe is often my reaction to it.

I interpret it as the body prepping itself for a specific activity (masturbation/sex/etc), not it trying to make you masturbate.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

Sounds a bit like self impossed guilt

You may have hit the nail on the head. That would mean I feel guilty for having feelings of arousal. If that's true, I wonder where that stems from. Well actually...I probably know 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
3 minutes ago, wyrdwyrm said:

I don't know if it's the same thing, but I get what I like to describe as a neurochemical cascade - when getting into a state of 'arousal', it feels like it triggers my brain to release a flood of chemicals that I usually don't bother with, and it travels through the rest of my system kind of like goosebumps. A full body shake like you describe is often my reaction to it.

I interpret it as the body prepping itself for a specific activity (masturbation/sex/etc), not it trying to make you masturbate.

That could also be what it is lol

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25

The idea that it's self imposed guilt is intriguing to me. My whole life I've been the "good kid" of my family. Not in the sense that I was better than anyone else, but that there were always problems so I took on the role of being the peacemaker. I stayed quiet and when I did show myself I didn't cause problems. I didn't give anyone anything to make a fuss about. I was very lame, plain, vanilla...whatever word you want to use. The issue is, I never really had a breakout phase, that side of me just stayed with me and became who I am as I've grown older, and now it feels really weird to change. 

 

For example, I never even began cursing. I saw it as a negative way to stir attention as a young person, so I stayed away from it. Now I'm 26 and I've never cursed a day in my life. Just one of those things I never started, so it would feel so weird to just start doing it now. The thing is that I have absolutely nothing against cursing now, but still the idea of doing it kind of freaks me out. I think the same could be applied to arousal. I never got into porn or anything remotely like that as a teenager or into my 20s. It was like taboo for someone like me. Now all of a sudden I'm exploring something that turns me on, and it's new for me. Same can be applied to drinking and going out partying. I'm just now dipping my toes into those things at 26 years old for the first time. I'm coming into myself somewhat, but it feels so strange when I've went my whole life caging myself up in so many different ways. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25

That also makes me wonder if I'm actually Asexual, or if I'm just so used to closing myself off to sexual stuff like everything else, and as I finally open up to it and possibly have some experiences, I'll totally change my feeling on it. 

 

As for right now, I'm not interested in sex at all. Even when fantasizing about my fetish, those fantasies never lead to sex. Not only am I not interested, but I'm kind of repulsed by it when people discuss it. So the question would be, am I freaked out by it in the same way I am about cursing or drinking due to being so closed off to it for so long, or am I legitimately not into it just because that's the way I am? I guess the only way I'll truly know is over time and with experience. 

 

Well, this just opened up a new set of thoughts for me to obsess over lol. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm

If you're finding the guilt angle intriguing, then I'd definitely consider exploring it further!

 

Btw, while I was never focused on being the good kid, I still ended up being very well-behaved and mild-mannered in public. To this day I don't really swear much in front of others (I save it for stubbing my toes in the morning - OUCH), but the few times I do have been incredibly entertaining when it ends up silencing the entire room. :D 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
1 minute ago, wyrdwyrm said:

If you're finding the guilt angle intriguing, then I'd definitely consider exploring it further!

 

Btw, while I was never focused on being the good kid, I still ended up being very well-behaved and mild-mannered in public. To this day I don't really swear much in front of others (I save it for stubbing my toes in the morning - OUCH), but the few times I do have been incredibly entertaining when it ends up silencing the entire room. :D 

I'll admit, I have cursed a few times in private. But NEVER in front of others. My god, with how accustomed people have become with how I am, if I suddenly started cursing in my regular conversations, people might pass out 😂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm
1 minute ago, Ita25 said:

I'll admit, I have cursed a few times in private. But NEVER in front of others. My god, with how accustomed people have become with how I am, if I suddenly started cursing in my regular conversations, people might pass out 😂

JUST THINK OF THE POWER YOU HOLD!

 

But in all seriousness, let yourself have a little fun and relax into your boundaries a bit, see if they're something you want to keep or stretch past. It's true, you might discover down the road that you're not as asexual as you thought - but as you're not interested in sex right now, why worry? Let that question resolve itself down the road. (And no one's going to get up in arms about you using the label to accurately describe yourself until then.) Or you might just be an asexual with a fetish. That's valid too.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross

Interesting

 

I was the peacemaker in my youth as well. The well behaved straight A's kid with no vices and also no friends ( though that is partially due to never getting along with people) who has also struggled with the whole understanding the while identity thing. So far ace stands and Im confident it wont change but who knows.

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
1 hour ago, wyrdwyrm said:

JUST THINK OF THE POWER YOU HOLD!

 

But in all seriousness, let yourself have a little fun and relax into your boundaries a bit, see if they're something you want to keep or stretch past. It's true, you might discover down the road that you're not as asexual as you thought - but as you're not interested in sex right now, why worry? Let that question resolve itself down the road. (And no one's going to get up in arms about you using the label to accurately describe yourself until then.) Or you might just be an asexual with a fetish. That's valid too.

Thanks, what you're saying makes a lot of sense. That's how I see myself right now, Asexual with a fetish. It feels right to me, at least for the time being. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Memento1

I read somewhere that men often feel a need to masturbate every so often because sperm become less potent after a few days, so masturbation is a way of cleaning out the old stuff to make way for the new.  Kinda like periods. ;) It could be your body just trying to clean out the pipes.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

@Memento1, the body does that naturally via wet dreams or "nocturnal emissions", as the OP has mentioned they experience.

 

@Ita25, on a practical note, that you have nocturnal emissions is a good thing, it's just the body showing that everything is working properly.

 

You're comment about "self-imposed guilt" is interesting. You may want to explore this further. Remember though, that not everyone masturbates, some just have no desire to. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ennis

Some more food for thought (a video on being 'the good child':

Spoiler

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade Cross
6 hours ago, Memento1 said:

I read somewhere that men often feel a need to masturbate every so often because sperm become less potent after a few days, so masturbation is a way of cleaning out the old stuff to make way for the new.  Kinda like periods. ;) It could be your body just trying to clean out the pipes.

Sperm is supposed to be re-absorved into the body if its not eyaculated. However, much like how a body needs to get rid of toxins, it can also simply get rid of it on its own by causing the infamous nocturnal emisions, which if nothing else, are an extremely annoying event to occur. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Memento1

I wasn't saying he should masturbate, I was saying it's normal for the body to try to get rid of it one way or another.  Like, whether you masturbate or have nocturnal emissions, it's just something the body has to do.

 

Happy Holidays.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
14 hours ago, Ennis said:

Some more food for thought (a video on being 'the good child':

  Hide contents

 

 

Wow. This hit me deep. Fits me to the tee. Honestly made me a little uncomfortable because it hit so close to home. Thank you for sharing. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nowhere Girl
On 12/25/2019 at 3:46 AM, Ita25 said:

That also makes me wonder if I'm actually Asexual, or if I'm just so used to closing myself off to sexual stuff like everything else, and as I finally open up to it and possibly have some experiences, I'll totally change my feeling on it. 

So what? It isn't "wrong" to NOT "open up to sex".

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ita25
19 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

So what? It isn't "wrong" to NOT "open up to sex".

You're right.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...