Question largely for greyromantics and the likes

[DogObsessedLi]

Tw. I apologise for mentioning the sexual aspect of this relationship, but it's hard not to without missing out a big chunk of the picture.

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I've just started seeing this guy for the past month. I got into a relationship with him largely for two very cupio reasons: for companionship and for the physiologically aspect of sex (my body knows when it's me and it can otherwise be a massive challenge). Anyway, this question is about the romantic side of relationships. I think I might have developed romantic attraction to him. If I have, it would be the first time ever. We've just connected very well, I think he's a beautiful person (the type of thing I admire in someone is when their heart is in the right place), and I think I've attached strongly to him since we've been having sex, though I am aware of how hormones can make you bond after sex). It's really hard to know what I'm experiencing, really hard because I haven't got any other examples to compare it to (apart from previous relationships which I've been more platonic with). I wouldn't say I fit the demiromantic tag, but if this is romantic attraction then it's still very specifically greyromantic (and grey-one person-attraction, I wouldn't even say grey-heteroromantic). I suppose my question is has anyone else had any similar experiences in this regard? Any experiences that would help me shine some light onto this? In some ways it would be so much easier if I was alloromantic because alloromantics generally have teenage celeb crushes to help practice dealing with the emotions. I don't have any sort of practice. I know he'd be flattered if I told him this, but the relationship started very practical from the cupio reasons I gave above, and we have spoken about different ideas regarding the bedroom, but now I feel like I only want to have sex with him on an intimacy level, and I suspect that's the romantic bond aspect that I'm trying to get my head around. I'm still not sexually attracted to him and struggle with many aspects in the bedroom because of this, but something has changed in the emotional side of things and I really don't know what to make of it all.

 

Thank you. And Merry Christmas x

[DogObsessedLi]

An update: I think it might be aroflux. It's like I get a romantic bond after oxytocin but it does seem to fizzle out after 48 hours or so. It's just something I've never experienced before, well being asexual tends to lead to lack of action (I've only ever slept with 3 men in my life and this third one seems the only one who knows what he's doing, which explains the oxytocin). But it does seem to fluctuate my romantic orientation based on my hormones. Maybe I should just blame the oxytocin hormones and be done with it, without trying to figure out what is going on with my romantic feelings!