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The Spectrum is confusing...


starr2015

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I have known for awhile I was asexual, but not until basically my late 20's. I used to try to have sex or perform sexual acts for the appearance of social norms. I am able to say something is pleasing but not feel intrinsic pleasure in the thought of a partner. 

 

But reading about the spectrum, I guess there is a difference between gray and not gray asexual. I have no clue about gray romantics or what not. But I think, and this is my opinion, that despite forcing sexuality upon myself in the past, and having the itch to scratch (as a female friggin hormones) but no actual desire.... I wonder if life is really leading to crazy cat lady and the fear I am actually okay with this as long as I have friends to satisfy any social needs and to discuss aesthetics with [mmmm Channing Tatum etc...]

 

There is so much out there under the topic of asexual and I am proud to be on that spectrum, but I am confused about the spectrum even after reading every article under the sun. And I think that comes from no one else in my circle understanding what it is like to not have sexual desire or a want for partnership. 

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I would say anyone who's quite a bit less sexual than the norm would fall in the spectrum. And someone who's just not sexual (having to do with the attraction) is just pure asexual. Thinking it that way its not too complex.  Except maybe some demisexuals to some degree, that might be quite a bit sexual with the right partner. In my case I'm not very sexual even if I consider myself demi.
There might be a few more things that can feel a bit like 'exceptions', but other than that I think it's simple enough.

I don't think anyone else in your circle needs to understand, it's harder for someone sexual to get it. But there's been threads on how to try to explain it to sexuals. I think it can be interesting to try, but definitely don't count on it working 😆

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