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Have you ever mistaken a platonic feeling to a romantic feeling for VERY random reasons?


SweetRoyalty

[Read the Description below before voting] Have you ever had those thoughts in a platonic way?  

24 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever had those thoughts in a platonic way?

    • All of them
      3
    • Most part of them
      7
    • Some of them
      9
    • A few of them
      5
    • None of them
      0


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[Warning: Description of wanting to kiss 1 time]

 

I'm questioning my romantic attration towards people and I have a "serious" question here

 

Have you ever interpreted this thoughts as a romantic feeling and then realized they are not?

(I'm a really bubbly person, please help me idk if those are purely romantic sensations or not 😂)

 

  • "I really want to hug and cuddle with this person all day long"
  • "Wow, kissing this person might be really good. I really wanna do this"
  • "Oh, this person seem to really like this thing I bought but I won't have the opportunity to buy another one. Hmmm... You know what? It's not something so important, it's just cute. I'm giving it to them."
  • "I feel so happy talking with this person"
  • "I feel like if this person goes away I'll feel extremely sad and empty because they're really important in my life"
  • "Wow, I really wanna see this person right now!"
  • Feeling more relaxed and happy whenever you are with this person

 

Feel free to add more if you want to xP

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Galactic Turtle

When I really connect with someone (has happened twice) part of me wants to bring them closer into my emotional orbit. Who knows, if they were aro ace maybe we'd explore a partnership setup. But I know that I function best as a friend.

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Nope.  I don't really experience platonic feelings/attractions that I can tell.

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Janus the Fox

Nothing of this thought pattern either despite being in a relationship.

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Feeling happy talking to a person and wanting to see them, yes; the rest, no. When I was in my teens, I assumed that just wanting to be around someone or wanting to get to know them was the feeling that people described as "a crush", because it was the thing I experienced that was closest to that, so I did get a bit confused about that for several years before I figured out that people were actually talking about something fairly different.

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I've thought most of those things about close friends!  

Kissing a friend I previously thought I had no attraction to has crossed my mind a few times, but I ended up ascribing it to curiosity and questioning rather than romantic attraction, since the feeling passed pretty quickly. I definitely don't think that wanting to kiss someone, or any of the other things on this list, means you can't be aro. 

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DogObsessedLi
On 12/21/2019 at 11:10 PM, SweetRoyalty said:

 

 

  • "I really want to hug and cuddle with this person all day long"
  • "I feel so happy talking with this person"
  • "Wow, I really wanna see this person right now!"
  • Feeling more relaxed and happy whenever you are with this person

The above ones yes.

I'm also cupiosexual and when I've had sex with my present boyfriend (he's fully straight so it can be a total mindfield), for the next few hours after sex a strong emotional bond forms that can make me question my romantic attraction. It usually subsides in less than a day though. Especially as I know how hormones can work in the female body. I also am attracted to the fact that his heart is in the right place socially (we have a very similar outlook in life) and I find that beautiful. But I find many things in life beautiful.

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I've had thoughts like that about some people, yeah. I never really thought of them as especially romantic, because I've always disliked romance and the word love and shit like that. But there have been some people I've found charming and interesting and sometimes even inspiring, which made me look forward to seeing them and interacting with them. There are two examples who were coworkers at a job I really disliked. Working with them made it something to look forward to, at least, especially with one of them who exchanged doodles with me back and forth. Odd how crappy drawings (mine were crappy, he was a formally trained artist) and a shitty job made me think I wanted someone.

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I am in the middle of trying to piece this together myself. That and figuring out what differentiates  deep friendly affection from romantic feelings.

 

Outside having no desire for physical contact outside maybe a hug, I am experiencing all of these with a friend currently. To be frank it has been driving me up the wall.

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I never felt nor would I ever feel the need to kiss or cuddle with someone who was just a friend. I wouldn't even feel comfortable with hugging them for more than a few seconds, let alone 'all day long'. Also for fear of sending the wrong signals.

I'm kind of perplexed and even shocked that people would actually do this with close friends.

 

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DogObsessedLi
8 minutes ago, kiaroskuro said:

 

I'm kind of perplexed and even shocked that people would actually do this with close friends.

 

My dad calls me the "cuddle monster". It all depends on how physically affectionate you are and how well these needs are met in your circles. For me, people are too stand off ish generally, but cuddles have always been in my family ever since a child.

You can even find groups that are designed to give each other hugs and cuddles non-romantically or sexually because many people of any orientation find themselves touch starved. For me, I'm body as well as mind and that is an important need of mine.

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Okay, wanting to cuddle with family members, that's something I have less difficulty imagining. Having said that, my family was the very opposite of yours, @DogObsessedLianne, very emotionally cold and standoffish; rarely showing affection, either verbally or physically. No wonder I still don't quite get what is considered to be 'normal' in healthy, loving relationships.

I'm also aware that the degree of physical closeness to friends and acquaintances like co-workers etc. highly depends on the cultural context and one's upbringing.

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6 hours ago, kiaroskuro said:

 

I'm also aware that the degree of physical closeness to friends and acquaintances like co-workers etc. highly depends on the cultural context and one's upbringing.

I definitely agree with this. I grew up a theatre kid and always had the kind of friend group where we could all cuddle pile with each other, and we’d always hug each other and say “I love you” at the end of the day (even mixed group of all genders). Because I experienced this in my formative years of adolescence, having this degree of both emotional and physical affection with friends still feels very natural to me. 

 

To answer OP’s question, I’ve felt most of those in a platonic way, other than maybe wanting to kiss the person. On the cheek perhaps, but rarely on the lips unless it was a quick affectionate peck if I was feeling super lovey-dovey in the moment (sometimes happens when intoxicated :P). 

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On 12/23/2019 at 9:09 AM, CBC said:

 

With that said, I mistook a crush that should've faded fast into comfortable friendship for being in love... and that's how I ended up married to someone of the wrong gender. 🙃 (Apparently I can have crushes on people of any gender identity, but it turns out I can only do the serious "in love" romantic/sexual thing with women.)

This is oddly comforting to read. As someone who always would crush on guys until recently, when I found out that I could sometimes crush on women as well, this confused me and kept me in the dark regarding my relationship woes for awhile. I’m only now slowly starting to realize that despite getting crushes, I might not be a serious-relationship person with anyone, at all. I just don’t seem to be wired that way. Sometimes crushes are just crushes, and you don’t always have to want them to be anything beyond that. 

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