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Which type of attraction you experience the most often?


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Emotional attraction. I don't want romance nor sex, and not even friendship. But, I am capable of being attracted at a emotional level to women.

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I definitely have aesthetic. That one can be a real pain in the dick. There's also some level emotional stuff I think. I really dont know anymore.

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1 hour ago, CBC said:

I'm curious... do you ever want to act on that "emotional attraction" in any way?

Well, only after a year or so, I'll admit it to her.

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13 minutes ago, CBC said:

But you still don't want to be friends or anything?

Nope, after a year or so, I'd be comfortable with a relationship.

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5 hours ago, CBC said:

Same. I assume the word 'attraction' means something different to us (and most everyone else outside of AVEN). I get what what the intent is ("Hey, I really like you and you seem interesting, let's be friends!"), but to me it's like saying I'm attracted to coffee or beautiful sunrises or voting for a certain political candidate. The terminology is just not right.

I think attraction is just a very board term. Without specification, the word attraction means to me "very much attached to, excited about and/or interested in that specific person" (and the type of attraction specifies why). There's a lot on aro/ace/allo attraction that doesn't make sense rationally speaking, we're just talking about subjective emotional reactions to something. Maybe everyone experiences attraction differently, and name it just based on how big the impact of the feeling is on their lives.

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On 1/22/2020 at 11:26 AM, CBC said:

Same. I assume the word 'attraction' means something different to us (and most everyone else outside of AVEN). I get what what the intent is ("Hey, I really like you and you seem interesting, let's be friends!"), but to me it's like saying I'm attracted to coffee or beautiful sunrises or voting for a certain political candidate. The terminology is just not right.

I don't know what attraction means on this place a lot of the time. I agree it's not wholly unfair to talk about it existing between two friends, because there does need to be at least some level of emotional attachment there. But to specifically talk of it as platonic attraction I don't think is very intuitive. "Platonic" specifically excludes the elements which we associate most strongly with being attracted to someone: the romantic pull and the sexual drive. It is used in common parlance as a qualifier specifically to denote a lack of attraction - "I'm not into you". So it reads very unnaturally at best, and kind of condescendingly at worst - "no I'm just platonically attracted to you", which doesn't stop it sounding like a crappy consolation prize. 

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1 hour ago, BeakLove said:

So it reads very unnaturally at best, and kind of condescendingly at worst - "no I'm just platonically attracted to you", which doesn't stop it sounding like a crappy consolation prize.

Maybe it's just because of I don't experience any sort of romantic or sexual attraction... but for me it sounds very reasonable to say you're platonicly into someone. I mean, there needs to be some sort of chemistry between the people to become friends (more than an acquaintance); you need to experience some sort of attraction. And if it's not romantic nor sexual, wouldn't it be platonic?

 

I have had people who I've had it instantly clicking with after I first met them and can't explain why. And other people who it would be really handy for practical reasons to become friends with (such as your neigthbor or a person at work) but the attraction just isn't there. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with either of you, you just don't have the chemistry, you don't operate on the same wave-length, whatever.

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