PaulinaGC Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Hi everyone! It's been weird for me, bc I know I can be in love, but I just don't like/want the physical part. I just recently started searching if it was normal and I came across the term "asexual" I started searching more and I felt identified, and it's really nice to finally feel I belong somewhere. Still I have a lot to discover and learn, but I know this is it, this is what I am. Yet I feel a little skeptic about telling my family, mostly my mom, I don't think they/she could understand, I know she would just say it's just a phase or that I haven't met someone worthy yet or anything like that. Has that happened to anybody else? Link to post Share on other sites
Grimalkin Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Asexuality is a quiet sexuality. If you're heteromantic you won't be taking home someone of the same gender to meet your family, so that won't be any kind of issue, and if you bring home a partner at all, you probably won't be talking to your parents about your sex life. I tend to be of the opinion that unless you are fully financially independent from your parents, it's not worth telling them, not if you think it could be in any way not well received. Better to sit on it, and if people ask why you're not dating, just tell them you're focusing on your studies. If you are financially independent from your parents (for instance, out of college and with your own place and job), then sure, go ahead-- but you may still get those typical bottled "you haven't met the right person" answers. Sadly, with heteromantic people, they will probably think they're right IF you start seeing someone romantically, because it's not like you can just tell people "well yes, I'm just not sexually attracted to them!" Link to post Share on other sites
Twigwilter Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 I wouldn't feel you have any obligation to tell your family. It's your business, plus it may just lead to frustration and awkwardness for you if they don't take you seriously and/ or decide to bombard you with personal questions over it. If you're still at school/ college you can definitely play the focussing on your studies card. Either that or just "I'm happy on my own for now". I'd say unless you're prepared for the invasive questions and/ or having your identity completely dismissed then maybe don't bring it up just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Welcome! Yeah it’s can be tough to explain, and even then your parents still might not accept it. I know that mine still insist that I’m going to get married and give them grandkids 😓 Link to post Share on other sites
PaulinaGC Posted January 9, 2020 Author Share Posted January 9, 2020 I also think most asexual people deal with this problem, but if you are -romantic and you begin to date someone, how do you tell him/her/them that you are asexual? How do you bring the topic and explain it? Link to post Share on other sites
Nicole18214 Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 I think a part of it depends on how close you are to your family. You mentioned your mom particularly, and remember you can always choose to tell just one person, and not everyone. It can be a difficult decision. I am financially independent, as I am grown and married and I didn't realize that I'm asexual until my late 20's. I haven't told anyone, partly because telling people at this point in my life won't change anything, and partly because of the acceptance part. I've broached just the general identity of asexual with my husband (and a friend of my husband's who is a part of the LGBT+ community) and both don't accept that scientifically, biologically asexuality is a thing. It only exists within those that have other diagnosis (like autism, down syndrome, etc.). I find it ironic in some ways, because when I tell my husband I don't see people as "hot" or I don't feel sexual attraction like he does, he accepts that, but he won't accept the definition of asexual. I know I've gone a little off-topic here, but I just wanted to share a little of my story. It can be lonely at times, being the only one who knows how I label myself, but I don't know how everyone will react, and as I mentioned, telling them won't really change anything so a large part of the time I don't feel the need to say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
kolka Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Hello I am also a bit hesistant about how to exlpain it to my family. I think they would try to be understanding (even if my mom would love some grandkids) but maybe I just need some more time. I hope we figure it out! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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