Jump to content

Could you explain Squishes?


leeluvssquids

Recommended Posts

leeluvssquids

I have trouble understanding if I’m feeling a crush or a squish. I know I can look up what it means, but what I really want is to hear it in other people’s own words and experiences.

thanks

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello! 
I'm in the same boat as you, as I can't really distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction, so I don't think that I personally can be of much help. However, there is a topic on Arocalypse where people discuss this with their own experiences which I found to be very useful!

http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/228-crush-vs-squish/

I recommend getting an account there if you have more aro-related questions, since they're the pros after all. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Squish: the urge to better know someone to a certain degree of friendship; friend, close friend, best friend, QPR. Once the desired bond is reached the fixation goes away. If it doesn't go away then it's a low-key crush.

 

Crushes on the other hand normally have alot more to do them. Romantic attraction is an emotion; so it doesn't translate well into words, but it can be inadequately put as soft/warm/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to one's normality with others). This is the base requirement, but some people also have a physical reaction to the feeling and others don’t (i.e. butterflies in their stomach, heart rate increase, blushing, etc. [though those can also be symptoms of platonic nervousness]). Others may react mentally with a dreamy mindset, anxious euphoria, infatuation, romantic fantasies, etc. And others may feel it light enough (compared to the norm) that there is no clear line between crushes and wanting emotional closeness. For me it's explicit when I ask myself if I'm willing to (french) kiss them/consent to other activities I'm not interested in.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Romantic and Aromantic Orientations".
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

Link to post
Share on other sites
rainbowocollie

In my experience a squish can be just as intense as a crush, but it's a little difficult to distinguish it from romantic types without experiencing both. You desire closeness and you adore the person, but you don't want them to be ~romantically close~. Confusing, I know.

Link to post
Share on other sites
leeluvssquids
4 hours ago, questdrivencollie said:

In my experience a squish can be just as intense as a crush, but it's a little difficult to distinguish it from romantic types without experiencing both. You desire closeness and you adore the person, but you don't want them to be ~romantically close~. Confusing, I know.

It does help a bit though. I feel like I can relate

Link to post
Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi

When I have a squish, it's me wanting an affectionate friendship with the person (I'm affectionate with nearly everyone family, friends, animals etc etc). Once I have it the squish fades because the desire is met. Often it stems from me being a little friendship starved in a society that demotes affectionate friendship. As for celebrities, it's usually "they are so cool, funny, beautiful person in what they do, or another similar admiration" that makes me desire to chill as friends with them because I imagine they'll make me laugh, or satisfy some other social need of mine. It can still be quite intense though especially if you are like myself and are generally very affectionate across the board. I think it can be next to impossible to put into words.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/24/2019 at 6:22 AM, DogObsessedLianne said:

When I have a squish, it's me wanting an affectionate friendship with the person (I'm affectionate with nearly everyone family, friends, animals etc etc). Once I have it the squish fades because the desire is met.

Wow okay well that was a little too relatable lol. I experience it in much the same way - I want to have a relationship of a certain level of "closeness" with someone, and once I have that relationship, the squish fades. But jeez, when I do have a squish... I'll be honest, I'm a bit of a mess. My heart beats faster, I get butterflies, and I get a ridiculous smile on my face. I hate it, but that's the way I am. My feelings are so intense that I often question whether or not they are, in fact, romantic. But what distinguishes it for me, I think (not that I'm any expert), is how uncomfortable I get with the thought of dating the person in question. I feel weirded out with the thought of going on dates or kissing them, whereas the idea of simply cuddling on the couch and watching TV (something I only do with close friends that I really trust) makes me incredibly happy to think about. 

 

Honestly though, I think it's a pretty personal thing. Best of luck to you in figuring it all out - all I know is that emotions are hard 😂

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...