SpeedSheep Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I've been thinking about my pronouns a lot lately. I'm male, quite feminine however, and prefer female pronouns. But the thing about that that's confusing is whether or not people would be at least a small bit okay with it. My parents, friends, and other family members know I prefer "girlish" things. But outside that range is, can males use female pronouns? Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I don't see why not. I can't guarantee that the people in your surroundings will be accepting, but if it makes you happy, fight for it . Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 18 minutes ago, SpeedSheep said: I've been thinking about my pronouns a lot lately. I'm male, quite feminine however, and prefer female pronouns. But the thing about that that's confusing is whether or not people would be at least a small bit okay with it. My parents, friends, and other family members know I prefer "girlish" things. But outside that range is, can males use female pronouns? Sorry, just to check I understand correctly, Do you identify as male or more non binary? (or something else entirely) IAre you transitioning? I'm just wondering if you have considered using gender neutral pronouns (they/them). If you wish it to be less confusing, however, you should be able to use whatever you are most comfortable with no matter what others think so if female pronouns fit best fine even if some people may think your transitioning when you are not. Like Lauraann said, you need to be happy, that comes first. Link to post Share on other sites
Andrea KF Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Of course! If that's what You want. And welcome to AVEN! 🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂 Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 There is a history of some gay people using female pronouns for themselves. It's probably important to be aware, though, that context is important, that some cis women and non-binary people have felt gay men calling them female pronouns like "girl" are demeaning/misogynistic, rather than a term of respect or endearment. https://www.them.us/story/call-me-by-my-pronouns Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 It can be hard for people to want to use the pronouns even if you're trans if you're not presenting as female, so while you can ask for people to use them, it's nowhere near a guarantee that they'll feel like doing that. Your friends will maybe be fine with it though. It's hard to say, but I would ask them how they feel about it. Alternatively, you could cross dress a lot more and that would help them see you more as a girl Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I'm going to to be blunt with you. If you're not trans or nonbinary, there's not much point in using the pronouns of the opposite sex. A man calling himself a woman or by female pronouns without specifying they are trans or are in a period of transition... few will respect your wishes. There's nothing wrong with being feminine (obviously) and femininity does not relate to gender. If masculinity being related to males bothers you and you are using different pronouns to separate yourself from that, try something else. Such as retraining your thoughts to separate the two (gender and gender expression). Or perhaps there is more to your gender. Then that's option two: questioning. While nothing is black and white, if you feel you're a male then the pronouns that go with it are best. You do what you want though. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 14 hours ago, KrysLost said: I'm going to to be blunt with you. If you're not trans or nonbinary, there's not much point in using the pronouns of the opposite sex. A man calling himself a woman or by female pronouns without specifying they are trans or are in a period of transition... few will respect your wishes. There's nothing wrong with being feminine (obviously) and femininity does not relate to gender. If masculinity being related to males bothers you and you are using different pronouns to separate yourself from that, try something else. Such as retraining your thoughts to separate the two (gender and gender expression). Depending on local social LGBT cultures, say that a gay guy liking to be called girl can happen quite frequently in casual conversation or being called a girl based on past sexual behaviour. ”OMG he’s such a girl, he’s had sooo many boys” those time of conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 2 minutes ago, Janus DarkFox said: Depending on local social LGBT cultures, say that a gay guy liking to be called girl can happen quite frequently in casual conversation or being called a girl based on past sexual behaviour. ”OMG he’s such a girl, he’s had sooo many boys” those time of conversations. Oh I'm well aware of the culture. I forgot to include it. Link to post Share on other sites
DanTheMemeMan Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 There is a difference between preferred and accepted pronouns. Many Nonbinary people prefer they/them but accept he/him or they them, and I don't see why a woman could prefer she/her and accept he/him pronouns. Idk if this is what you are talking about I just wanted to say this. Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 4:31 PM, Sarah-Sylvia said: It can be hard for people to want to use the pronouns even if you're trans if you're not presenting as female, so while you can ask for people to use them, it's nowhere near a guarantee that they'll feel like doing that. Your friends will maybe be fine with it though. It's hard to say, but I would ask them how they feel about it. Alternatively, you could cross dress a lot more and that would help them see you more as a girl I think is going to be very difficult to have people outside your close knit family to be expected to comply. The old adage "if it looks like a duck sounds like a duck well it is a duck" This is so true People who are transitioning have a difficult time with this not alone if you are not presenting. One can always ask people to respect it but it is not always going to happen and you may get a lot of pushback. What you are asking for may take a generation or two to become apart of our society Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 First off welcome to AVEN. Secondly it's perfectly ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 6 hours ago, ColeHW34 said: First off welcome to AVEN. Secondly it's perfectly ok. Sure some people won't be as accepting but in here, everyone shows mutual respect. Forgive if you thought I was disrespecting as I was not, just pointing out that outsiders may not be very accepting or accommodating. I myself am going through that, while I get annoyed I realize I have to accept some of it as people being people Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 I would be more curious why you prefer female pronouns. Sure, use whatever pronouns you like. They're just words. It'll be harder to try and enforce them though. It's a problem with non-binary and non-passing trans people. If you look male, act male, claim to be male, etc. but still ask to be called she/her, there are going to be some people who are just unwilling to do so. And some people may think you're joking or delegitimizing the plight of trans and non-binary people. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.