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elizabeth17

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Hi im a cis ace woman (probably like demi-panromantic but who knows). Anyway since realizing I'm asexual I went through a brief moment where I was like o gender... But I've realized I'm cis and disidentify with the sexualized elements of femme gender expression but not actually being effeminate. I mostly wear pants but don't have a problem wearing a skirt or dress if I want. I hate heels and super short skirts and deep cut tops or crop tops (that might have more to do with a fuck ton of scars)  However, I kind of hate my hair. I've had the same hair cut since 3rd grade (im 21 now lol)- its just a kind of long bob situation. I've said since middle school I'd rather just shave my head, but I think my catholic family would be really upset. I don't really want a super short hair cut. I thought about getting an undercut so my family wouldn't be super upset/have to know. Any suggestions? (idk if this belongs in this thread but i couldn't find one where it felt appropriate...)

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If i take my kids to the hairdresser i ask them how they want their cut, came home with a mohican one time, i thought it looked awesome and he was so happy to be able to express himself. His mom was furious, we since separated, not just because of that :P. 

 

It can be hard to please yourself if pleasing yourself depends on what others expect :(

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I find that I can't have much done with my hair because most places don't know how to deal with "in between" hair. I am black but I have a slightly looser coil then usual. Likely somewhere in the 3 department but I can't even get my hair styled half the time because the books don't provide much of a reference for me and the "ethnic hair" books provide me to either get a relaxer or braids half the time and neither of those are what I'm looking for. With that I just have to stick with what I have which is about shoulder length hair that can be pulled back in a ponytail of varying degrees(high or low ponytail).

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Janus the Fox

I think that could work, shorter yet can be styled differently later.

 

Im rather opposite, though I’m somewhere transfem that have a longer hair, styled femininely, that’s not exactly too far from the imagination for some men.

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You can also cut just a little bit, see if it fits you, and cut a bit more if you want. I've been thinking about cutting it all, but if it ends up too short, it would take a long while to grow it again. It will make things go smoother with your family too. 

There are other parameters than just length, too... how you style it day-to-day, of course, but also fringes, layered haircuts... I think? I'm exploring options too, so I don't really know about these things... so, if anyone has ideas or tips on how you can get different cuts with the same length... that could be worth thinking about. (Maybe shoulder length would be good? Something a bit in-between, not really long or short... I think leaving enough length to tie them back is more practical if you don't want to go completely short. I'd recommend that if you want an androgynous look but not super short hair. Shoulder-length hair, symmetrically parted, sometimes with a low ponytail or bun, is not uncommon for men, my uncle and brother both have that.) 

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DarkStormyKnight

Hey so I had long hard for like 20 years and then went short. Then grew it out again. Now I'm short again. I think experimentation with your hair is great! It's your hair, it'll grow back, and if you hate what it is now just change it! It's a form of self-expression, it should be something that you like. I know a lot of people that like the undercuts if you go that route. Happy exploring!

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DanTheMemeMan

I don't see why you shouldn't. It's your hair so what you want with it. If you don't end up liking it it'll grow back, but it's always nice to experiment. 

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