Pamalla-Shay Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 Hey So I need help, I'm very asexual. I have no idea how to tell if I am into someone romantically so I was hoping all of you could help me out a bit. How do I tell if I romantically like someone or I just like them as a friend? Also how do I tell if someone likes me romantically or just as a friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 Well, there can be romantic attraction, but romance can also grow as you get to know someone and like them and want to feel closer to them, and then the feelings turn to love and you want to share affection and care in a deeper way than just friendship. Unfortunately it's kind of hard to tell how someone likes you unless you're good at reading emotions, or they're flirting with you or making some moves. I would think someone who likes you as a friend.. it would feel a little lighter, including with any affection that'd be shared. Less attachment, less wanting to spend a lot more alone time (maybe more out with other friends too all together). You can picture the opposite if someone likes you romantically. Unless they're playing it off, there'd be a bit more looking for connecting with you, more alone time with you, more gaze in their eyes, and maybe subtle romantic gestures. It really depends on the persons though. I don't feel like I said something true in all cases at all. But maybe at least it can give a small sense of it. And I'm curious what others will say too. Link to post Share on other sites
aces&eights Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 Since majority of society defines crush with sexual attraction I've been really confused. I used to think I never had any crushes since I never wanted to bang someone but after reading up on asexuality I realised that's not true. However, I'm also deeply confused as to what distinguishes crushes from just intense friendships. So as @Sarah-Sylvia said, I'm curious to see the other replies Link to post Share on other sites
xToasty Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 I'm not entirely sure about the differentiation myself, but this is kinda what I think. I have a really close friend. I love her so much, she's really important to me. I love to hang out with her, I talk to her ALL the time, and I genuinely just get happy being around her. I'm happy when she's happy, I'm sad when she's sad. I care about her more than anybody else. But I'm only feeling a really intense friendship. I don't get those 'butterflies' that people talk about, I don't have any wish for more romantic actions with her like kissing or cuddling or anything, and if she was to get a romantic partner, I would feel so happy. I don't have that kind of 'lovey dovey' aspect. There are some things we do that other people might write off as flirting. Like for example, she calls me babe sometimes, but it's just as a joke to obnoxiously show our platonic love for each other. I also wouldn't care if she asked me to hold her hand or something (though she probably wouldn't; we don't like physical contact that much), because I know that it's not in a romantic way. I'm not sure whether this is much help, but that's my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 Kids get crushes, I got crushes when I was young, way before sex was even a thing. I never thought of them a being sexual. But yeah I think for me it's pretty easy to tell the difference between someone i want to be intimate with, and someone I just really like being friends with. I know that demiromantic people have a bit of a harder time making out the difference until they feel a lot closer to someone, and then they want to take it to the next level. Some aromantic people tend to look for strong bonds in friendships, much more than regular people, they want closeness too, but not past a certain point, and no devotional feeling, usually. I don't have any friends I feel like cuddling or being close and sensual with, but I could definitely see it being possible, with the right person. I just don't know where the line would be, I haven't had a friendship like that yet. Link to post Share on other sites
AspieAlly613 Posted December 12, 2019 Share Posted December 12, 2019 I'll preface this by saying that romance means different things to different people. For me, the difference between friendship and romance is the desire to share your lives. Ultimately, for you, you'd have to ask yourself what romance means to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Artila Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 Idk for my crushes I have two types of "how to crush" The first and most common way for me is to pick a person I deem aesthetically attractive and focus on them until they are special to me and I have hopes to get closer to them. The second type only happened to me once, it's what is called infatuation. Happened to me this October and it's like as if you were set under drugs just the other person IS your drug and you need another dose of them quick before the withdrawal symptoms start. Also clouds your mind, sets you under heavy stress and makes you super irrational and annoying at worst. And that 24/7. Honestly, it was so intense and overwhelming I was in a constant state of fear to do something I would regret later. It happened without me wanting to feel like that. For when to tell if the other one likes you romantically you can tell when they spend an unusual lot of time with you and are extra protective over you. I mean ofc that depends on the person because some people (like me) can hide it well but this is how I could tell it. I think at least. Link to post Share on other sites
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