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I have so many insecurities about being in a relationship.


Lucina

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Hello,

I think I'm growing interest in someone and for the first time I can be sure that I would want to be in a relationship with a boy. I don't know if he feels the same but there is also some signs of interests from him. He is a very well mannered,polite and seems to be a caring person. He is the kind of person I want to spend time with and talk to. Now I'm scared what if he ask me out! What should I do?? Should I be in a relationship?? When should I talk about my asexuality?? Should I even talk about it before he mention anything related?? I have so many insecurities about being in a relationship (asexually and not asexually matters) :(

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I agree with @Moonman, I also find it important to be up-front about asexuality as soon as possible. Not that it should be the first thing you should tell about yourself when meeting a potential partner, but it should be said early enough, just to have it out in the open. Well at least for me, it helped to say things straight away to people I've dated, and so far I've never had any bad reactions - I've actually found that people are really open about it and have never been pressed to have sex by anyone. 

 

I'm always worried when I'm in a relationship, which is probably why I never make them last long, so I can't really help you about your other insecurities (though I can probably relate to them!), but for the asexuality bit, in my opinion it's better - and easier - to say things early. It saves time and energy :) 

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brbdogsonfire
On 12/11/2019 at 8:56 AM, Kersenne said:

I agree with @Moonman, I also find it important to be up-front about asexuality as soon as possible. Not that it should be the first thing you should tell about yourself when meeting a potential partner, but it should be said early enough, just to have it out in the open. Well at least for me, it helped to say things straight away to people I've dated, and so far I've never had any bad reactions - I've actually found that people are really open about it and have never been pressed to have sex by anyone. 

 

I'm always worried when I'm in a relationship, which is probably why I never make them last long, so I can't really help you about your other insecurities (though I can probably relate to them!), but for the asexuality bit, in my opinion it's better - and easier - to say things early. It saves time and energy :) 

Anxiety is very common early in relationships. The fair of losing the other person fades with time as you both become more comfortable. 

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1 hour ago, brbdogsonfire said:

Anxiety is very common early in relationships. The fair of losing the other person fades with time as you both become more comfortable. 

In my case, it's the other person staying I'm afraid of... Weird, I know, and most probably it only means that I'm not attracted enough to that person to want to be in a relationship with. Good thing is, we talked about it. Bad thing is, we don't understand each other, but that's ok, we'll try to make it work anyway and if it doesn't... we'll just move on :) 

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