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Need Relationship Advice


IrishArcher

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So I've been seeing a girl for about a month now. We've gone on a few dates and we've been talking pretty consistently. She's really nice and I like hanging out with her, but so far our dates have been pretty much platonic. She's a little sappy over text sometimes, but in person she treats me no differently from her other friends. We've never done anything strictly "romantic," and to be honest, I like that about our relationship. I feel much more comfortable with her in person when we're just being friendly than I do when she texts me about romantic feelings.

 

She recently asked me if I wanted to make our relationship more official/exclusive. I don't hate the idea of calling her my girlfriend, but I don't think I feel as strongly for her as she does for me. I think I'd rather keep our relationship platonic, which it basically has been so far. When I asked her how she wanted our relationship to change, she said it wouldn't really except that she would be more open about her feelings for me. While I think I'm okay with nominally changing our relationship status, I don't really want anything about the relationship itself to change, and I'm worried that her expressing stronger romantic feelings for me will make me uncomfortable because I won't be honestly able to reciprocate. I asked to speak with her in person in a few days, which should give me some time to think about what to say, but I'm not sure what I should do. I don't think I feel romantically attracted to her, but I like what we currently have and I don't want to break it off. I also don't want to lead her on or keep her in this gray area if she wants something else. How do I explain that I might feel differently about our relationship than she does? How can I preserve her feelings if I decide I don't really want a romantic relationship with her?

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I think you need to ask yourself this:

 

"Do I/should I prioritize this friendship over my other friendships?"

 

My guess is that your friend's request was motivated by this sense of priority.

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