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CassLang

New to AVEN not to ACE

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CassLang

Hi all.

 

I'm new here, obviously! I'm 31, married, have 2 kids and asexual. I had a pretty rough weekend and decided that I just really need to find a group of people who are like me to talk to and be able to vent or get advice.

 

I love my husband, enjoy sex, just... don't ever think about it when I'm not doing it. This is causing some issues and I'm hoping to get some advice from people who are the same. I'd like to be the one who initiates things more often and not just an idle passenger in my physical relationship.

 

I also would just love to talk about being asexual in general as I am not connected with many others who are!

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appleseedy

Hi

 

i'm new too but i've been married and i also have 2 kids and yeah i know exactly how that felt. I sort of figured out what i liked and didn't like and just told her. Looking back i think i am lucky to have those kids. Still trying to integrate Asexuality into my identity as i'm knew too that too, Does he know your asexual? have you spoken about how that feels for you? I'm sure he would be happy for you to seduce him whenever you chose

 

Apples

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CassLang
8 minutes ago, appleseedy said:

Hi

 

i'm new too but i've been married and i also have 2 kids and yeah i know exactly how that felt. I sort of figured out what i liked and didn't like and just told her. Looking back i think i am lucky to have those kids. Still trying to integrate Asexuality into my identity as i'm knew too that too, Does he know your asexual? have you spoken about how that feels for you? I'm sure he would be happy for you to seduce him whenever you chose

 

Apples

Hi Apples, thanks for replying!

 

It sounds like your relationship didn't work out in the end and I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you are able to one day seemlessly fit Asexuality into your life and relationships (if you choose to have them!).

 

He does know - we've been together for 10 years now and discussed it a fair number of times. He definitely WANTS me to initiate things and before kids I did more often, but now I just get distracted by life and all the things that must be done. That's my core problem - finding ways to make me think about having sex without being on a schedule or something rigid like that. I'm perfectly happy having sex - just don't ever think about it. Just hoping someone has tips because he feels pushy if he's always initiating. I do good for awhile then I fall back into old habits. 

 

FYI to anyone reading these posts - he is not forcing anything and has been accepting (if not content) with our situation. I just want to provide him more of what he needs to feel loved and wanted. 

 

 

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Lichley

Welcome! Well if you want it to be a bit more spread out at random you could always random number generate a day, that way you can make time for it in your day but he still feels like there’s some spontaneity :) 

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