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Ash n’ Dash

Am I Asexual?

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Ash n’ Dash

Hello, I’ve actually had an account for a while, but never really utilized it until now, so this is my first post! :)
 

The gist of my problem: I’ve never been fond of the idea of sex, but when I think about being cuddled I become in aroused. I don’t have a want to have sex, but rather I get a “boner.” I’m not sure if this reaction is something that would turn me from being asexual, I feel like it shouldn’t but I’m not sure in its entirety.

 

Long version:

For a long time I’ve never delved into my sexuality, since I had no strong desire that pushed me too. For the longest time, I felt nothing in terms of wanting a relationship or any type of intimate interaction. Although, throughout my years within primary school, I’ve always had the underlying feeling of wanting to be closer to other boys. At the time, it was a desire to befriend them—that was the whole feeling I’ve felt while in primary school which I didn’t really look much further into. Once I entered college, my feelings begin to develop and I finally realized I wanted to be in a relationship with boys by testing out the waters through Tinder and talking to other males there! After I began to actually seek a relationship out with one, interacting with them, it was a slow process before I actually became aroused by the thought of being held, hugging, kissing, or cuddling with another boy. Before I never really had this type of reaction if I thought of being hugged by another boy I didn’t become aroused (perhaps that was because I did not couple it with the idea of being in a committed relationship with that person). So does this type of reaction define anything else besides my orientation on my romantic feelings. Or does it mean something else? I’ve felt like this has been my only block left that is stopping me from finally opening up to everyone about who I want to be with In terms of a relationship.

 

Thank you for responses in advance, and thank you for your time! ❤️

If you need further information to help in providing an answer, or any other reason, I will gladly to do so!

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Rune_Weaver

If you only feel sexual attraction after "bonding" with someone, that would be demisexuality. However, as far as I know, being "turned on" is not sexual attraction, that's a biology thing, so if you are aroused but don't actually feel sexually attracted to a specific person I'd say you would fall under asexual. If you only experience sexual attraction very rarely that would be gray-sexual. 

 

Hopefully that helps?

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PotatoWithLegs18

HI :)

 

I agree with ^

Sounds to me like demisexual/greysexual.

I consider myself asexual even though I can get "turned on", but to me its biological and in no way relates to my attraction to others.

And I am still questioning my romantic taste all the time.

Also  you can totally say you are asexual right now if that is what you feel/think best describes how you feel.  It does not have to be a permanent label and you might one day totally find you were wrong or change...that is completely fine...sexuality/lack there of is fluid.

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1990skid

Hello, 

This may not be total helpful to you but this is my experience of things. You may not beadle to figure things out until the newness and excitement wears off.  Then you can sit back and contemplate why you did what, what was you trying to please, how you truly felt and what not.  But for now you don't know what you don't know so go with what you feel is right for you. 

 

Best of luck figuring things out.  

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