Jump to content
Earendil

Greetings from Ireland

Recommended Posts

Earendil

Hiya, I'm Jenny and I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I suppose for many long years I considered myself a bit of a freak. I had never been on a date, let alone kissed a guy. It just didn't seem to happen for me and the only explanation I could think of was that I was inherently boring and unattractive. I can't say for sure that's not the case but I guess I have to take a lot of the responsibility too. Beyond vague efforts at online dating, I have never really made an effort to meet guys and my greatest fear on that forum was that they would actually ask to meet, leading to a whole other set of expectations! I'm a realist and I know there are very few guys who would be satisfied in a non-sexual relationship, so what do I have to offer? I have seen sex on screen (though I tend to look away as it makes me uncomfortable) and I have read about it in books (again, I tend to skim over those bits!) but the thought of partaking myself is unimaginable. Certainly I feel a curiosity about it, who wouldn't when people go on about how great it is? I don't think I would be able to bring myself to get physical in that way with someone though. I have been kissed once and found even that repulsive - the poor lad only kissed me on the lips, imagine how I'd feel when tongues got involved! 

 

Aaargh...anyway, I don't really know what to say. I still feel like a freak but I understand that I am who I am, I guess I just wish that for once I could be 'normal'. I'm already different in other ways, for example I don't drink, which is certainly a rarity in Ireland. It's also something that contributed to my inability to meet guys. Most relationships seem to start in a pub environment after a few drinks have been consumed and that's a situation I'm never in and never want to be in. I suppose I have a bit of social anxiety, so I'm not really comfortable being in a group of more than 2 or 3 people in a social context (unless that context is a sporting environment). 

 

Jaysus I'm waffling on again, I do that. I'll shut up now before I just go on and tell you my whole life story

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
michaeld

Welcome to AVEN! Have some :cake: .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
iff

welcome :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ennis

Fáilte! Have some welcome cake :cake:

 

I can relate to almost all of what you wrote. I've never felt like a part of the dating culture and like you I think this is partly because I don't drink alcohol or go to clubs. The first time I kissed somebody I didn't like it either so I've decided to learn to be happy with my friends. It's still possible I might meet another asexual who just wants to cuddle. Honestly though, romance is no requirement for a happy life.

Anyway, enough about me. Just wanted to let you know that there's other people in the same boat. Looking forward to seeing you on the forums or in chat! If you need to talk, feel free to pm me.

 

1 hour ago, Earendil said:

I'll shut up now before I just go on and tell you my whole life story

Actually it's not uncommon for people to write down their whole life story when joining AVEN.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia

Welcome!
I'm sure you'll find that you're pretty 'normal' on this site.  :)

I love kissing, very much, but I don't like with tongue, to me it kind of ruins the mood. Thankfully I don't think the tongue part is that important to most people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lichley

Welcome! Trust me, the tongue makes it 10x worse, you made the right choice in avoiding it 😖

pancakecake.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Earendil

Thank you all :) I suppose I had assumed up to this that there was a psychological reason for me being the way I am but would I be right in thinking that I could just have been born with this predisposition?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ennis
11 hours ago, Earendil said:

Thank you all :) I suppose I had assumed up to this that there was a psychological reason for me being the way I am but would I be right in thinking that I could just have been born with this predisposition?

Well it's definitely possible to be born this way. Asexuality isn't a disorder. However, there are psychological and medical issues that can cause symptoms similar to asexuality. Does this answer your question?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...