Jump to content
KRIS_IS_SOCIALLY_AWKWARD

I don’t know (Help?)

Recommended Posts

KRIS_IS_SOCIALLY_AWKWARD

Hi so I haven’t been here in a while, life and stuff kept me busy I guess. 

But I’ve been thinking that I might be aromantic or not I don’t really know and I’m confused. 

 

So uhhh here’s the thing I’ve had many  “crushes” but I don’t know if that was really a crush? Cause like I wanted to get to know them and be their friend and spend everyday just talking to them and hanging out, and maybe cuddle with them. But I don’t know. 

I’ve had two girlfriends. One ended in bad terms because...so I wanted what people in my class seemed to have. You know love, it made them happy so I wanted that too. She was great and seemed to like me so I told her I loved her, but after telling her I just felt awful, like I lied to her and myself. I became distant and didn’t talk to her and then we talked and broke up. Then months later I had a girlfriend for a month and she is awesome and we’re still friends but I don’t know it feels like whenever I do get into a relationship and we get to saying  “I love you” I say it but I don’t know if I really feel it. 

 

I’m just confused and I mean lots of my friends are getting into relationships and while I think their cute and I wish I could be that connected with a person at the same time when they kiss and stuff I don’t know...I’m not sure if I’d really enjoy that? Idk...I’m confused. And also when they ask me when I’m going to get a boyfriend or girlfriend I really don’t know what to say 

Edited by KRIS_IS_SOCIALLY_AWKWARD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Saphoune

Hi. You will be the only one able to figure out about your romantic attraction.

There is a very useful sketch that helped me understand attraction better here: https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729

 

But you won't see things clearly as long as you will think about others: the things that other have, the things that others seem to value, the things that seems to make them happy,... Stop thinking about the others' happiness and think about your own. This does not mean disregarding your partner's feelings. Just knowing what you want better to avoid making things worse because you did not want to admit your difference (like it happenned for me).

 

Maybe in a few years you will feel something even stronger and your doubts will disappear. It's ok to change.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
frostboot

Hi!
It's difficult for anyone to determine your romantic orientation from a short post online, but I can say that I am on the aromantic spectrum and I can relate to everything you're saying. Everything from the questionable crushes to the feeling awful after telling people you love them to the not knowing if you'd want a partner at all. I spent a lot of time trying to differentiate between what want and what society has told me that I should want. I grew up believing that I got crushes on people because, as you described, there were certain people that I liked so much I just wanted to spend all day talking to them. A usual crush, however, tends to involve that you want to kiss the person, and that you can imagine yourself falling in love with them in the future. 

Whatever conclusion you come to, the most important part is that you try to figure out what makes you happy, because there are no rules when it comes to that. When you imagine yourself in a traditionally romantic relationship, how does that make you feel? When you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with no romantic relationships, but a wonderful best friend at your side, how does that make you feel?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...