appleseedy Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 I think i would tell him. It occurs to me that i can intuit in some way when someone is in to me, when they want me to kiss them etc, so i figure everyone can do that. His confusion might be because he never felt that from you so he asked you if you were gay, he's looking for an explanation. You spoke of a mutual attraction so he wants to know more. It's up to you who you tell and who you don't. I would tell a potential partner as soon as we begin to build intimacy. If i want someone to trust me i have to take chances, feeling vulnerable is both frightening and freeing. I don't want to be hurt, sure who does? I want to be free to feel rather than scared. Apples Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 3 hours ago, flyingtime said: when he suddenly asked me if i am gay. I was taken aback and I have been laughed at for being asexual so i did not feel comfortable saying that. Instead, I said i am not exactly straight but i am not gay either. There was very awkward silence and i just could not bring myself to say asexual. I asked him why would he ask me that and he said it was because i mentioned that my best friend is gay the week before. So, i asked him very hesitantly "well, what about you? are you gay?". He asks me if he seemed gay to me. I think i detected some hurt in his voice but it was late, i was tired and i was already confused by if should tell him i am asexual so I said I am not sure. He does not say anything for some time and then my rideshare arrived. It was awkward, slightly funny in a twisted way and I just had to rant about it This has almost word for word happened to me before. I'd say that as long as they aren't homophobes or something, just tell them your romantic orientation + asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
doggalogga Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 The worst thing about sexuality is some people work on a black and white scale. If you're not "straight", then you're "gay." Sexuality is broad and varied. I've been effectively single for 4.5 years (dated 12 months ago, and that person was really nice, but not right for me, and I not for them), and thankfully nobody suspects a thing. Only a handful of people know my true orientation, and that's literally one friend, my parents, a doctor or two, and a couple of psychiatrists. Who you choose to divulge to is completely up to you. Some people are very open about being ace (or any other orientation). Some people are very reserved in sharing (like me). The bulk of my friends are late 30s, and I don't deem them mature enough to understand or respect my asexuality. My youngest friend (who is only a 18 months younger than me) is actually my most trusted confidante, and I his. I just knew I could trust him. You'll know who you can share with. Still, whether you do or not is up to you - there's a lot more to you than just being ace - and that's what ultimately people should focus on Link to post Share on other sites
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