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Buddy:-)

How can you tell

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Buddy:-)

Hey there. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and what I don't understand is the main difference between someone you want to be friends with and someone you want to be with romantically. To me everyone looks the same and I don't have the urge or feelings to kiss or cuddle or date anyone. How do I figure out my romantic identity if I can't figure out what romantic feelings are. Just wondering if any of you know how to help me out because I am completely confused. Thank you in advance.

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Acerctic

as a heteroromantic asexual who I think had romatic feeling for someone in college and refuses to call it a crush I think you have to figure out what your type is first. if you already have you will notice if you have romantic feelings for that person. it can be by how you usually think about them or if you had dreams of them etc. while in friendship you will be wanting to open up to that person and enjoy their company. that's how I see it but you still have to figure out how you feel about it in your own way tho :).

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Purple Wanderer

Its beyond friendship. Its a feeling in your gut, like an addiction (but telling someone that they're like your version of meth isn't as romantic as you think it is)

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Galactic Turtle

Personally I focus on the desire or lack of desire for partnership. I've never wanted a partner, so I've never concerned myself with romance or the search for partnership.

 

Lots of aromantic people still do want a partner but I suppose the type of partnership they want doesn't align with cultural expectations of partnership so it's helpful to call it something else... like a QPR. 

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MichaelTannock

I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Romantic and Aromantic Orientations".
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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Sarah-Sylvia

Sometimes it takes to get to know someone much more to feel romantic feelings. You may only know how romantic you are once you meet someone you connect with on a deeper level. No romantic attraction up to now might mean that you're 'less' romantic though, however far it goes.

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crazy ace
1 hour ago, Galactic Turtle said:

I've never wanted a partner, so I've never concerned myself with romance or the search for partnership

This is similar to me, however, I usually feel drawn to different aspects of them more, and lest this sound platonic, I usually get like a butterflies feeling around them.

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Duke Memphis

I usually get a bit of a fluttery feeling inside and a stupid grin on my face when it's romantic interest. When it's platonic interest, it's just a regular grin with no fluttery feeling.

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