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The Crudity Test


Phantasmal Fingers

Which do you prefer?  

121 members have voted

  1. 1. Which do you prefer?

    • Burping
      52
    • Farting
      33
    • Masturbating
      31
    • Partnered Sex
      5

This poll is closed to new votes


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Farting mainly because most of the time my farts don't stink as long as I avoid dairy, beans, and high sulfur content foods.

 

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It's possible to learn how to burp and to use that to speak if your vocal cords are unavailable. 

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Phantasmal Fingers
1 minute ago, NoelciMeta said:

It's possible to learn how to burp and to use that to speak if your vocal cords are unavailable. 

Brilliant! 😀

 

Tell us more... 

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12 minutes ago, Moderne Jazzhanden said:

Brilliant! 😀

 

Tell us more... 

If you insist x) 

 

It's a great way for people who've had a tracheotomy to speak again. The burping sound is just the oesophagus vibrating, and with enough training, it can be a replacement for the vibration of the vocal cords. As for the practical part, for getting air in your stomach, you have to hold your breath (like you'd naturally do with your tongue, you know, you hold the back of it against your pharynx), contract your diaphragm as if for inhaling normally, and if done right, the air should flow through the oesophagus instead. 

Just, mind what you eat before trying that. 

 

Edit: I think that sums up my opinion, that burping is the least gross of the four~

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Me, the smol margin that prefers partnered sex. :ph34r: Ope.

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Phantasmal Fingers
On 12/8/2019 at 8:17 PM, funky bananawarp said:

I'm a bit surprised that masturbating seems to be more popular than farting.

It's a dead heat atm! 

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CelesteAdAstra

None because I'm fairly disgusted by the workings of the human body

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Phantasmal Fingers
On 12/24/2019 at 11:31 PM, CelesteAdAstra said:

 I'm fairly disgusted by the workings of the human body

It's a shocking state of affairs, is it not? 😮

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  • 2 weeks later...
dragonfire42

I think both burps and farts are funny (as long as I don't do it when anyone else notices - but I'm very good at doing both silently (when I want to)  and without odors). Never tried partnered sex and would sooner die than try it. I've tried masturbating a few times just to see what it's like, but I always get bored before I feel anything.

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  • 4 months later...

I read that as crudité ...

Here I am with my carrot baton and a pot of hummus, in a room whose air is made putrid with all this burping and farting!

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GingerRose

Ah no! Masturbating should stop having such a stigma around it.

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Phantasmal Fingers
1 hour ago, GingerRose said:

Ah no! Masturbating should stop having such a stigma around it.

There was a time when masturbating and farting were right up there. But since then burping seems have regained the ascendancy. 

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GingerRose
1 hour ago, Moderne Jazzhanden said:

There was a time when masturbating and farting were right up there. But since then burping seems have regained the ascendancy. 

I at least think burping has a cultural stigma some places and is accepted in others. Like burping after a meal in America isn't okay but it is in China.

 

Where as masturbating is wrong everywhere (at least where I have heard of )

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  • 4 weeks later...
Phantasmal Fingers
On 5/23/2020 at 10:13 PM, GingerRose said:

I at least think burping has a cultural stigma some places and is accepted in others. Like burping after a meal in America isn't okay but it is in China.

 

Where as masturbating is wrong everywhere (at least where I have heard of )

Burping is way out in front!

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On 12/11/2019 at 7:03 PM, PoeciMeta said:

If you insist x) 

 

It's a great way for people who've had a tracheotomy to speak again. The burping sound is just the oesophagus vibrating, and with enough training, it can be a replacement for the vibration of the vocal cords. As for the practical part, for getting air in your stomach, you have to hold your breath (like you'd naturally do with your tongue, you know, you hold the back of it against your pharynx), contract your diaphragm as if for inhaling normally, and if done right, the air should flow through the oesophagus instead. 

Just, mind what you eat before trying that. 

  Edit: I think that sums up my opinion, that burping is the least gross of the four~

I knew a gentleman who had learnt to speak like that after an operation for laryngeal cancer.  His whole voice box had been removed and he had a hole in his neck to breathe.  He would cover the hole when he wanted to speak.  His speech was easy to understand.

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  • 6 months later...

@Real Jazz Hands

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organisation, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

  

iff, Census Forum Moderator

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