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DoubleATripleA

Spectrum & Other Stuff Questionnaire

Spectrum & Other Stuff Questionnaire  

26 members have voted

  1. 1. Is Asexuality on a Spectrum?

    • Yes
      20
    • *magical neutral option*
      0
    • No
      6
    • Other stances
      0
  2. 2. Is Aromanticism on a Spectrum?

    • Yes
      19
    • *magical neutral option*
      1
    • No
      6
    • Other stances
      0
  3. 3. Should Demi, Grey, etc. Have Their Own Communities Instead of Being in Aro/Ace ones?

    • Yes
      0
    • *magical neutral option*
      3
    • No
      15
    • Yes, but I would be ok with them still being in Aro/Ace spaces to support us
      5
    • Other stances
      3
  4. 4. Should Greysexuals, Demisexuals, Lithsexuals, Fraysexuals, etc. be considered Ace?

    • Yes
      14
    • *magical neutral option*
      4
    • No
      6
    • Other stances
      2
  5. 5. Should Greyromantics, Demiromantics, Lithromantics, Frayromantics, etc. be considered Aro?

    • Yes
      12
    • *magical neutral option*
      5
    • No
      6
    • Other stances
      3
  6. 6. Do You Think The Ace/Aro Community is Too Inclusive?

    • Yes, it's way too inclusive
      3
    • Yes, it's a little bit too inclusive
      4
    • I don't know/Other
      9
    • No, it's a bit too exclusive
      9
    • No, it's much too exclusive
      1
  7. 7. Should Greyromantics & Greysexuals use the terms 'Grey Aro' and 'Grey Ace' despite still experiencing Sexual Attraction?

    • Yes
      19
    • *magical neutral option*
      3
    • No
      4
    • Other stances
      0
  8. 8. Do You Think You're An Ace/Aro Inclusionist or Exclusionist?

    • Inclusionist
      13
    • Exclusionist
      1
    • I don't know
      5
    • I don't like using those terms
      5
    • In between the two/it depends
      2
  9. 9. Is Being Asexual Having No Sexual Attraction?

    • What? Yes
      18
    • I don't know
      3
    • No
      2
    • Other stances
      3
  10. 10. Is Being Aromantic Having No Romantic Attraction?

    • What? Yes
      20
    • I don't know
      1
    • No
      2
    • Other stances
      3


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DoubleATripleA

This is only to see what everyone thinks on these different things, I am not trying to cause trouble or invalidate people's labels themselves. I do believe the labels I used in these questions (aka lith, grey, demi and fray) are used to describe valid ways to experience sexual or romantic attraction, but are not to do with asexuality or aromanticism. That is my opinion. 

 

So yeah, don't be dicks to each other, please. If you want to talk about these questions, then do so civilly. Not everyone will have the same viewpoints as you, even if most people here are all either Aro and/or Ace. Just yelling at others for different views, without making any actual points or arguments, makes us look more like a joke to allos and further pushes back Ace and Aro awareness and acceptance.

 

Ok, disclaimer over. Have fun m8teas!

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Iam9man

I’ll be interested in the results. Suspect this may blow up but let’s see! 🤔

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maybeimamazed

Oh boy.

 

I'm all for making things as simple as possible. This whole concept of an "umbrella" or a "spectrum" is pretty much the opposite of that. If you experience sexual or romantic attraction at all, you're sexual/romantic

 

So the answer to "Should Demi, Grey, etc. Have Their Own Communities Instead of Being in Aro/Ace ones?" is neither. Not in the ace community nor in a separate community. If they're exclusively into the same gender, they belong in the gay/lesbian community. If they're into multiple gender/regardless of gender, they belong in the bi/pan community. If they're exclusively into the opposite gender, they're straight.

 

How often you experience sexual attraction or in which circumstances - while relevant as far as personal experiences are concerned -  is unnecessary minutiae in the bigger picture. Why isn't there a word for bisexuals that have a preference for a certain gender? Or for heterosexuals/homosexuals with a preference for trans individuals? And so on.

 

If you experience sexual/romantic attraction so damn rarely that it might as well be nonexistent, then you're just aro and/or ace. Again, let's make things simple.

 

But I obviously have no power over how people choose to identify.

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MichaelTannock

It might be helpful to know how those are defined on AVEN:

 

Quote

Spectrum: A range of intensity of sexuality from asexual to sexual. People may use the term “asexual spectrum” to refer to a range close to the asexual end – levels of sexuality that are so low that they identify more with asexuality than other sexual identities.

Quote

Ace: An informal label for asexuals or people under the asexual umbrella.

Quote

Asexual umbrella: Asexuality and identities similar to asexuality, like demisexuality or graysexuality that are closely connected in a broader community.

Quote

Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships (or the adjective describing a person as such).

Quote

Demisexual: Someone who can only experience sexual attraction or desire after an emotional bond has been formed (or the adjective describing a person as such). This is different from the choice to abstain from sex until certain criteria are met.

Quote

Gray-asexual (gray-a) or gray-sexual: Someone who identifies with the area between asexuality and sexuality (or the adjective describing a person as such). For example, they may experience sexual attraction very rarely, only under specific circumstances, or of an intensity so low that is ignorable and not a necessity in relationships. (Note: the spelling of gray/grey may vary by country.)

Quote

Sexual attraction: Desire to have sexual contact with someone else or to share our sexuality with them. (Note: sexual attraction does not need to be based on appearance, and can also develop gradually over time.)

 

Quote

Romantic attraction: Desire of being romantically involved with another person, or holding strong romantic feelings towards another person.

Quote

Romantic orientation: An identity or label typically based on the gendered direction of romantic attraction. For example, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or aromantic are romantic orientations. Some people may have different sexual and romantic orientations (e.g. a biromantic asexual).

 

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CBC

I'm not sure how to interpret the questions. Do you actually mean are these things on a spectrum, which is what the wording would imply, or do you mean are they a spectrum themselves? Because those are two different things. Would like that clarified before I vote.

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DoubleATripleA
2 hours ago, CBC said:

I'm not sure how to interpret the questions. Do you actually mean are these things on a spectrum, which is what the wording would imply, or do you mean are they a spectrum themselves? Because those are two different things. Would like that clarified before I vote.

I mean asexuality and aromanticism on a spectrum

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hellwyr
On 12/3/2019 at 8:01 PM, maybeimamazed said:

Oh boy.

 

I'm all for making things as simple as possible. This whole concept of an "umbrella" or a "spectrum" is pretty much the opposite of that. If you experience sexual or romantic attraction at all, you're sexual/romantic

 

So the answer to "Should Demi, Grey, etc. Have Their Own Communities Instead of Being in Aro/Ace ones?" is neither. Not in the ace community nor in a separate community. If they're exclusively into the same gender, they belong in the gay/lesbian community. If they're into multiple gender/regardless of gender, they belong in the bi/pan community. If they're exclusively into the opposite gender, they're straight.

 

How often you experience sexual attraction or in which circumstances - while relevant as far as personal experiences are concerned -  is unnecessary minutiae in the bigger picture. Why isn't there a word for bisexuals that have a preference for a certain gender? Or for heterosexuals/homosexuals with a preference for trans individuals? And so on.

 

If you experience sexual/romantic attraction so damn rarely that it might as well be nonexistent, then you're just aro and/or ace. Again, let's make things simple.

 

But I obviously have no power over how people choose to identify.

Hi! I find your opinion quite interesting as you bring up a number of points that are not often thought of when discussing asexuality.

 

However (and this is meant as genuine interest and not as an attack to your opinion and view on the matter), I'd like to know why you think that demi/gray/fray/etc people often prefer to be considered part of the ace and aro community instead of that of their sexual or romantic preferences.

   - Could it be because of exclusionism in the LGTB+ community? 

   - Could it be the fact that the allo "community" is generally misinformed or plainly doesn't know about aromanticism and asexuality and the (widely accepted) variants on the spectrum and non-100% aro/aces prefer to be part of a community that has knowledge and sensibility towards them?

   - Similarly, but on a more intimate or emotional level, non-100% folks do have a knowledge and conscience on sexual and romantic attraction - or lack of thereof - that allo people don't often need to think about. Could this make them feel closer to fully aro/ace folks than allos, even if they do experience attraction?

Part of my point with these questions is that I think a community shouldn't be treated as a bucket list, where if you don't completely tick all of the boxes, you're out. Especially when talking about something so nuanced as one's sexual and romantic attraction, you need a community that can help you understand yourself better and support you. Right now, I feel that the aro/ace community is the community that can provide that for folks that are not completely asexual or aromantic.

But of course, you're entitled to have your own opinion as no opinions are true in this world!

Edited by hellwyr
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maybeimamazed
18 hours ago, hellwyr said:

Hi! I find your opinion quite interesting as you bring up a number of points that are not often thought of when discussing asexuality.

 

However (and this is meant as genuine interest and not as an attack to your opinion and view on the matter), I'd like to know why you think that demi/gray/fray/etc people often prefer to be considered part of the ace and aro community instead of that of their sexual or romantic preferences.

   - Could it be because of exclusionism in the LGTB+ community? 

   - Could it be the fact that the allo "community" is generally misinformed or plainly doesn't know about aromanticism and asexuality and the (widely accepted) variants on the spectrum and non-100% aro/aces prefer to be part of a community that has knowledge and sensibility towards them?

   - Similarly, but on a more intimate or emotional level, non-100% folks do have a knowledge and conscience on sexual and romantic attraction - or lack of thereof - that allo people don't often need to think about. Could this make them feel closer to fully aro/ace folks than allos, even if they do experience attraction?

Part of my point with these questions is that I think a community shouldn't be treated as a bucket list, where if you don't completely tick all of the boxes, you're out. Especially when talking about something so nuanced as one's sexual and romantic attraction, you need a community that can help you understand yourself better and support you. Right now, I feel that the aro/ace community is the community that can provide that for folks that are not completely asexual or aromantic.

But of course, you're entitled to have your own opinion as no opinions are true in this world!

Hi! Well, I think grays and demis identify more strongly with the ace community because - from their perspective - casual sex is very prevalent in society, so they feel like outcasts.

 

I freely admit that it's all about perspective, because I grew up with people that wouldn't even blink at the concept of demisexuality. In my group of friends (my current friends and the ones I grew up with), requiring an emotional bond before you experience sexual attraction is the norm, not the exception.

 

Here's the thing though. I think words should mean something. While it's important to make people feel comfortable and accepted, labels matter. I'm sure there are gay people who are more comfortable identifying as bisexual, because that means their family will be more accepting. But that's disrespectful to the bi community (I'm not trying to say grays/demis are disrespectful, it's just an example).

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