draxiskool Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I think I'm Ace for the most part but find myself drawn to breast. I don't mean to be explicit but I like touching them and playing and sucking on my partners nipples this of course arouses my partner and then she wants me to finish. About 98% of the time the reason why I play with her breast it's because I like them not because I'm trying to get her off. As a matter of fact I never want to get her off because I don't enjoy touching genitalia it causes me emotional distress and when I'm playing with her breast sexual thoughts are not going through my mind I just enjoy the sensation. I know I probably sound like a jerk but does anyone else experience this? Where you just enjoy the sensation? Am I not fully asexual? This is the one issue that continuously stops me from being comfortable with identifying as full Ace and leaves me confused all the time. I know breast are not necessarily always sexual but the media sexuallizes them. Does anyone else just see them as a body part they like to touch? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Spoiler Personally, I feel as if breasts are just a body part that I sometimes like to touch for sensory desires(and if you are female aligned, it serves a purpose by giving milk\lactation) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ortac Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I don't think that this should be an issue which stops you from being comfortable identifying as full ace. Like you say, it is the media and society generally which sexualizes breasts, but if you don't personally, then you shouldn't worry about what the media or anyone else thinks. I don't and never have considered breasts to have anything sexual about them either. To me, they are just a body part like any other. Suppose it wasn't your partner's breasts that you enjoyed touching, but instead you liked massaging her back? Would the question of whether that constituted something sexual even come into your mind or anyone else's mind? I would guess it would be much less likely. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I can relate to this (background history) I am a male that always wanted to have breasts so yes they were sexual for me, I felt cheated not having them from I guess early Teen, When I got older I started wearing breast forms and continued wearing them increasing the time I would wear them. I then starting wearing them out and about long story short i decided I wanted my own set and searched for surgeons that would perform breast augmentation on me. It took awhile however I was able to find a few that would do the procedure. I ended up having the procedure done and I am the owner of rather fairly noticeable set of boobs. To say it was not sexual would not be truthful, though at first it was all about adjustment and them healing took a long while for both to happen. Later once I become more comfortable with them, It seems to be that while I still luv them the actual sexual part is certainly not nearly as strong as it was prior or leading up to the procedure Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I think I mentioned something close to this, but someone can like or even find something sensual, but it doesn't make it sexual. If someone likes the texture of something and likes to rub it, does it make sexual? Nah. And being connected to a human being makes it more special. I like breasts, and it doesn't have to be sexual. But what I like the most is likely the body and person it's connected to Making them feel good can be nice, though just like someone can enjoy being rubbed or massaged, even if it's a sensitive part it doesn't have to be sexual, especially in affection with a partner. Anyway, everyone's going to feel differently about it 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HikaruBG Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Hmm.... While it is true that there is nothing inherently sexual about breasts themselves, it's rather difficult to adopt this mentality because of what society is saying, or more specifically, how people tend to be hyper-focused on them. I personally have rather mixed attitude when it comes to looking at them.... but the prospect of touching them has always been the same - No. Not even with my index finger. It's just that, a hypothetical situation like that, would feel rather akward (at best) and/or emotionally charged (at worst), I'd rather avoid it entirely so that I don't feel uncomfortable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Spoiler Personally I like a bit of breast with cranberry sauce. Also a bit of leg, come to that... 🤭 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
draxiskool Posted December 3, 2019 Author Share Posted December 3, 2019 After some thinking I think I lean very much towards just full asexual. I've noticed that the reasons why I participate in sexual activity don't really have to do with the thought of sex. Thank you everyone who replied Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 12 hours ago, HikaruBG said: Hmm.... While it is true that there is nothing inherently sexual about breasts themselves They are a secondary sexual characteristic so I find that hard to believe. There is a reason society is obsessed with them and from my early teens it was nothing to do with society that had my gaze annoyingly fixated on them. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HikaruBG Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 On 12/4/2019 at 12:00 PM, œddy said: They are a secondary sexual characteristic so I find that hard to believe. There is a reason society is obsessed with them and from my early teens it was nothing to do with society that had my gaze annoyingly fixated on them. Well, it was already said that breasts' purpose is to produce milk. That, in no way, is inherently sexual. That being said, the real reason why society is heavily fixated/focused on and sexualizing them is because it's one of the physical traits that people use to judge whatever or not this woman will be a good partner. And this is why they are on a such location on the human body... so that they can attract the attention of others. I have seen this is been said on the scientific channels (like National Geographic) but they used jargon language and comparisons with how other primates judge potential partners. And yeah, I agree. It can get very ridiculous, especially when companies start using it as a marketing tool, how some artists are drawing them and how the PC itself trying to police it all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 I didn't say they didn't have a purpose other than sexual attraction, but cis-het men are coded to be attracted to them Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 I don't think they are inherently sexual, but I do know for me as someone with a pair, that someone touching them feels sexual to me, and is something that crosses the line between “closeness I enjoy” and “closeness that’s too sexual”. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 I don’t think that I’m the targeted group being asked about this, but I’ll give a few of my thoughts here. I’m generally neutral to that itself and more find the way that people act about them to be off putting and strange. I avoid looking at them and find it weird hearing other guys discuss breasts.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTurtleMan Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 I've definitely always been told that breasts are sexual in one way or another. I now have moved away from breast themselves as sexual, as they are just there for the babbies. I definitely like them aesthetically though, and that's not sexual. I love curves and breasts just are naturally curvy so I am drawn to them for that reason. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 From what I've seen, they usually evoke a sexual response when stimulated (that and the fact they obviously hold visual sexual appeal to many people sexually attracted to the female sex), so it's kind of hard for me to not see them as sexual objects, at least under the appropriate contexts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 I forgot to say that for me they can be all the ways that they're beautiful in their own right. 1) As nurturing new life (babies) 2) Aesthetically beautiful (curves, part of a woman, and more) 3) Sensually pleasing (Both to the touch, as well as being touched, having more sensitive nerves, etc) 4) Sexually compatible (Can add a lot to sexuality, not having to only go for genitalia for expressing or receiving sexual acts or feelings) I connect more to them being beautiful (aesthetically) and the sensuality than sexuality by default, but they can definitely have all those roles, and probably more. It depends what zone you're in or how you relate to them. I definitely think they didn't have to carry as much sexual attention than they have, but we know how society is. I would've thought more asexuals didn't seem them as sexual, but I guess everyone's still affected by certain views. Oh well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 I know this isn't what the topic is about but holy fuck when you use the word breast, singular, all I can think about is breast feeding. Put an s on the end pal! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 6, 2019 Share Posted December 6, 2019 7 hours ago, henshin said: I know this isn't what the topic is about but holy fuck when you use the word breast, singular, all I can think about is breast feeding. Put an s on the end pal! I think of chicken or turkey myself Quote Link to post Share on other sites
🚓💨💨 Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 You can appreciate beauty without wanting to fuck it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LuklioNight Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Hi, today I had discovered the differences between sexual attraction, kinks, and fetishes as I have always been confused on whether or not there were a difference between them. Now, what I am about to reveal is actually something I kept a secret without knowing what it was as I had kept it in so deep that it almost felt like it was further away from my most self-aware consciousness (sorry if my explanation doesn't make any sense). Truth is..when I was a young kid, I had a fascination towards same-sex bodies (I'm female) in a sexual way instead of male bodies which I dismissed since back then, I didn't know that I was experiencing arousal towards someone's naked body that I couldn't help but stare. Since both of my parents are Korean christians, they NEVER educated us about sexuality which today, only left me feeling even more confused about my possible sexual interests that I didn't even know I had. But what's even more confusing was that my first sexual awakening was a male kpop idol that I saw for the first time while watching a music video of them from my friend's phone while we were waiting in her mom's car at her garage. My 6 or 7-year-old's mind was in a silent state of surprise when I saw the shirtless, edgy-looking white-haired muscled idol that was responsible for making me feel this way as his wrists were chained up against the wall and was looking at the camera with a fierce look on his face with the only clothing he wore that were black trousers and brown sneakers, lip-syncing the song in Korean. It not only made me feel uhh.."something", but it also provided me my first sexual fantasy (I think) of a long, dark-haired attractive Korean lady wearing a red dress and high heels approaching the chained up guy and...you know, touch his nono square. Although my parents strictly prohibited me and my younger sister from encountering inappropriate content on the internet, I was somehow able to come up with something sexual which I don't really know if that was very unusual for my age (I mean, come on, I was 6 or 7 when I've experienced this). My second sexual awakening that I can think of is Katy Perry (I think two of my sexual interests were celebrities in suggestive music videos) as I was very much drawn to certain actions she was performing in the music videos she were in as two of the music videos I could think of is Roar and Teenage dream. I was watching it with my sister on her apple iPad who only said "wooooow" or "ohhhh" with childlike amazement while my eyes were stuck on the iPad like glue when we saw a guy pushing Katy down against the mattress and making out with her as he eventually slowly took off her Jean shorts before cutting to a more PG scene. Just to let you know, I was probably around 8 when I binge-watched the music videos with my sister so uh..yeah, that started off very "innocent" during my childhood. I didn't just had sexual interests towards two of the celebrities in the music videos I've seen as I later on sometimes experienced light sexual fantasies of Disney princesses like Ariel (that's all I can remember) being uhh.. "transparent" when she was washed up on the shore after turning human or drowning deep into the ocean while she was *ahem* "transparent" either as a mermaid or human (idk what's wrong with my brain back then). Most (if not all) of these somewhat erotic fantasies were at night when I am asleep so it provided me the appropriate and safe space to daydream however I wanted as long as I don't tell ANYONE about this. As a started to grow older, I became more fascinated with women's breasts (or maybe my younger self had a better time than I did) when it comes to softcore porn and anime as I would always look at how they were responding while their breasts were being squished like dough (rather use safer word) as well as their movements. It was the only concept that provided me pleasure (except I'm kinda into the idea of female bottoms being dominated by their more dominated male or female partners in softcore version) and nothing else provided me the same satisfaction as female breasts. Because of this, I started questioning whether I was homosexual or aegosexual as I wasn't able to tell the difference between sexual attraction, desire, arousal, kinks, and fetishes until now. I think I am rather a bit relieved to say that I happen to not be a lesbian in terms of sexual attraction as what I've developed since early childhood was a heavy fetish rather than attraction (if I researched it correctly). As for still wondering whether or not I am aegosexual with my only source of pleasure now being women's breasts from the internet and Syntribation while laying down on my side, I am still preferring to not label my sexuality as it is rather complex for me to discover compared to the usual mainstream lgbt identities we know of. So yeah..I basically identify as heteroromantic who is questioning on the aro spectrum while I choose to not label my sexual orientation. But if I 100% figure it out, then maybe I can finally use a label once I'm comfortable enough although I probably wouldn't proudly say to people that I might be aegosexual since it involves an ace person who is distinguished by the tendency towards having sexual fantasies at times despite feeling a disconnect between themselves and a sexual target/object of arousal (ppl will seriously think I'm a loser virgin or a perverted fetishizer :( ). Anyways, that's all that I can confess from my biggest, most deepest secret yet that is related to female breasts as a possible aegosexual teen. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Jeez, another old thread. But... On 12/5/2019 at 6:40 PM, henshin said: I know this isn't what the topic is about but holy fuck when you use the word breast, singular, all I can think about is breast feeding. Put an s on the end pal! Same lol. I find it a bit... strange... that the OP is a male past the age of puberty and really enjoys sucking his partner's nipples and it's apparently not at all sexual. I'd be quite weirded out if a man wanted to suck my nipples and said it wasn't sexual. Either it's very definitely part of a sex act or I'm breastfeeding a child. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 15 minutes ago, Ceebs said: Jeez, another old thread. But... Same lol. I find it a bit... strange... that the OP is a male past the age of puberty and really enjoys sucking his partner's nipples and it's apparently not at all sexual. I'd be quite weirded out if a man wanted to suck my nipples and said it wasn't sexual. Either it's very definitely part of a sex act or I'm breastfeeding a child. Huh, I wish I had found this thread earlier. I actually understand where the OP is coming from. While I dont engage in the act, its not unusual to find breasts attractive and having a sort of "look but dont touch" situation, in the sane way an ace can find a girl attravtive but the interests so to speak never goes beyond just seeing Also, there have been mentions about how the mouth is actually a form through which you can induce relaxation by way of having something in it, something akiin to how you give a kid a pacifier Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 13 minutes ago, Lord Jade Cross said: Huh, I wish I had found this thread earlier. I actually understand where the OP is coming from. While I dont engage in the act, its not unusual to find breasts attractive and having a sort of "look but dont touch" situation. I can wrap my head round an asexual finding them an aesthetically pleasing part of the female form without wanting to do anything sexual. It's the... sucking on the nipples... that seems very sexual to me, unless the person doing it is a nursing baby. Putting many other things in your mouth (chewing a pencil, biting your nails, chewing gum, whatever) isn't sexual of course, but nipples are pretty specific and he didn't mention also enjoying doing anything (sexual or non-sexual) to any other part of her body with his mouth. Obviously I can't say 'Nope, you're definitely totally wrong about your motivations', and I do believe when he says he's not interested in having sexual intercourse or even getting off for whatever reason, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't any element of sexuality at all to this act. He hasn't been around in over three years though, so I guess we'll never get a follow-up... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Somehow, I don't mind it as much when people necrobump threads I posted in before. Maybe if I were ashamed of my past self I'd have more of an issue with it, but I'm always very proud of everything I post and never post anything cringeworthy ever. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 3 hours ago, Philip027 said: Maybe if I were ashamed of my past self I'd have more of an issue with it Lucky. I'm pretty ashamed of how I presented who I was pre-2020, like literally from joining in 2004 through to early 2020. I very much thought I was right multiple times, so I was being honest and authentic to the best of my ability, but I still feel shame because I don't like who/what I thought I was. I don't really feel ashamed that I was wrong, it's simply because I don't like that past person. And I'm annoyed with some of the views I used to hold, mostly pre-2018 but a few that I held until about 2021. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CincinnatiAsexual Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 On 1/14/2023 at 1:32 PM, Ceebs said: Lucky. I'm pretty ashamed of how I presented who I was pre-2020, like literally from joining in 2004 through to early 2020. I very much thought I was right multiple times, so I was being honest and authentic to the best of my ability, but I still feel shame because I don't like who/what I thought I was. I don't really feel ashamed that I was wrong, it's simply because I don't like that past person. And I'm annoyed with some of the views I used to hold, mostly pre-2018 but a few that I held until about 2021. Sounds like you evolved. New people in our lives or a new situation might bring that about. I know I'm a much different person than I was before I identified as asexual. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 2 hours ago, CincinnatiAsexual said: Sounds like you evolved. New people in our lives or a new situation might bring that about. I did indeed, and yeah it's very much down to new people and new situations. 2 hours ago, CincinnatiAsexual said: I know I'm a much different person than I was before I identified as asexual. Glad to hear it. (Hopefully that was meant in a good way; I assume so.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CincinnatiAsexual Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 13 hours ago, Ceebs said: I did indeed, and yeah it's very much down to new people and new situations. Glad to hear it. (Hopefully that was meant in a good way; I assume so.) Yes, I am much more dynamic and in touch with my interests and with the people I know. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.