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Dances With Cats

Greetings and salutations!

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Dances With Cats

Hi there. I just joined the AVEN forums for the first time. I first heard about asexuality through a LiveJournal community about 20 years ago, and immediately the idea resonated. However, I still had this idea that I was asexual due to childhood trauma and that if I just could process that stuff I'd enjoy sex and experience sexual attraction. Well, many years of therapy and EMDR later, I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm asexual, not damaged. And that's just fine!

 

I just recently ended a 2 1/2 year relationship with a poly woman, and we never had sex. I was glad to date her knowing she was poly; it took the pressure to have sex out of the relationship equation because she could get her ya-yas out with her other partners. I never experienced any kind of sexual attraction toward her, although I did find her quite aesthetically and romantically pleasing.

 

I live in Seattle with three cats, I play video games and role-play games like DnD, I love to read and write, and I'm looking forward to meeting you all and participating in the forums!

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Sarah-Sylvia

Welcome! :)

That's kind of lucky in a way that she was poly and that you didn't mind her getting something elsewhere. Not a lot of people can be ok with that, but considering the amount of sexual people in the world, it can be one way to have a romantic relationship. I consider myself both poly and mono. So long as I can more feel deeply romantic with someone, I would be satisfied, I think. Anyway, good on you to recognize how you are, it's good to know.
I also played quite a bit of rpgs in the past. I don't play many these days, but I do like the concept of role-playing :)

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Custard Cream

Hello, glad you have found us. If you fancy roleplaying here, there's a thread called CHAOS in Just for Fun. We'll make you welcome!

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Dances With Cats

Cool! I'll get in on that CHAOS thread, @Custard Cream

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Dances With Cats

@Sarah-Sylvia part of the problem in our relationship, and the reason I knew it was never going to be a lifelong thing, is that I'm fundamentally monogamous. I'd rather have one partner with whom I can have a monogamous (on both sides) relationship. Finally understanding that I really, honestly am asexual has given me a lot more clarity and, believe it or not, confidence, because I know what I want and what I don't want, and I know there are other people like me.

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LeChat

:) Hi, and welcome! :cake:

 

1 hour ago, Dances With Cats said:

...I live..with three cats, I play video games and role-play games like DnD, I love to read and write...

:) Well, you're in luck: AVEN has discussion threads for all of these things, if you're interested.

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Earth and Moon
2 hours ago, Dances With Cats said:

I live in Seattle with three cats, I play video games and role-play games like DnD, I love to read and write, and I'm looking forward to meeting you all and participating in the forums!

Welcome to AVEN! :)

i enjoy playing DnD and reading, too. I look forward to seeing you in the forums!

(Here’s some cake!💜🍰💜)

six-inch-cakes.jpg

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Dances With Cats

@Earth and Moon are those cakes you baked and decorated? If so, they're pretty awesome!

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Lichley

Welcome! You have three cats?? Lucky! What are they like? :) 

rich-peanut-butter-and-chocolate-cake-85

P.s. we don’t bake all the cakes, I wish I was anywhere near that good at baking haha

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Dances With Cats

@Lichley my oldest cat, Thomas, is 18 (he'll be 19 in February). He's a short-haired brown "mackerel tabby" and white cat who I adopted at the age of 3. He was a poor, broken-hearted little guy when I met him--his former owner had to go into a nursing home and he and his former owner were really bonded--but I was a poor, broken-hearted thirtysomething when I met him, so we worked out great together! Both he and I are much better now. Thomas is a total gentleman and he loves his "harem" even if at his age he sometimes has trouble managing his lady friends.

 

Belladonna is gorgeous, shiny short-haired black cat. She's going to be 8 next month. I adopted her when she was about a year old, and at the time she had diabetes (which is VERY unusual in kittens, and she'd been diagnosed at about 6 months old). I got her into remission in about two weeks by feeding her raw food and giving her a less stressful environment than the shelter, and she hasn't needed insulin since January of 2013. She's a total goofball, a perma-kitten, and she knows how to make me smile and laugh every day. Bella's also my little napping buddy--I have a chronic illness that leads to fatigue and pain, so I need occasional naps during the day; fortunately I work from home so this is doable.

 

Tara literally showed up on my neighbor's doorstep in November of 2015. She's a beautiful short-haired tuxedo lady with perfect little white boots and mittens. I found out about Tara through my best friend, who is also friends with this particular neighbor, who lives in the building next to mine. When my best friend talked me into meeting her, I said, "Sure, why not?" I had a vacancy because my oldest cat, Siouxsie Mew, had died about six months before, and when I met Tara the first thing she did was climb into my lap and hang on for dear life. Well, that was it: I couldn't NOT take her home, right? She had an inappropriate urination and anxiety problem that were frustrating for me to deal with, but I'd made the commitment to adopt her, and that's a lifetime commitment. I took some of my own advice (I write a cat advice blog) and did all the appropriate house setup and behavioral things in an effort to control the problem. Finally, my vet suggested alprazolam to help her manage her anxiety. This helped for a while, and then the peeing started again. This time I went back to the vet and asked them to run blood work and a urinalysis, and it turned out she had a UTI. Once that was resolved, the peeing stopped, and four years later there hasn't been a drop of inappropriate pee anywhere in the house.

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Lichley

@Dances With Cats aww that’s so sweet. They all sound amazing, your so lucky to have such wonderful cats :) 

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Dances With Cats
On 12/3/2019 at 2:59 PM, Lichley said:

your so lucky to have such wonderful cats

I know. I'm grateful every day!  💖

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