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Sora Lawlight

Aromantic????

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Sora Lawlight

I have found out I'm asexual a few months ago. I think I might be aromantic, but i'm not quite sure. I just have this conflicting feeling that it would be nice to have a special person to care for, and be cared for in return. But at the same time I think i'm scum and don't even deserve to be called human, let alone be love by someone else. My existence would just weigh them down. Like why would anyone like me in the first place, everyone else is way better. (sorry I got a little off topic there. now getting back on topic) I have heard someone that has romantic attraction describe the feeling as "butterfly's in my stomach." I have never felt anything like that (in fact I did not know that people got that feeling.) That's why I think i'm aromantic. But whenever I think about spending the rest of my life alone, I start to feel lonely. Thank you for listening to my rambling, any advice will help.

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MichaelTannock

I've moved this thread from "Questions about Asexuality" to "Romantic and Aromantic Orientations".
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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MichaelTannock

@Sora Lawlight I define the different types of attraction by what they lead you to desire, meaning your insecurities won't tell you.
I define Romantic Attraction as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone, so what matters is whether what you feel leads you to desire that, not whether you have a poor opinion of yourself or fear to be alone.

There are also other types of attraction.

There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling.

There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.
 

For advice, one way to get around your insecurities might be to seek a Queerplatonic Relationship instead of a Romantic one: http://wiki.asexuality.org/Queerplatonic

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Janus DarkFox

Regardless of actual attractions, there’s a lot going on here, like working on why you don’t feel human.  To me that’s a self esteem thing that could be managed.  I had a similar thing and later still came to terms of my own Aromantisism.

 

Theres also the romantic lexicon otherwise.

 

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Sora Lawlight
7 hours ago, MichaelTannock said:

@Sora Lawlight I define the different types of attraction by what they lead you to desire, meaning your insecurities won't tell you.
I define Romantic Attraction as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone, so what matters is whether what you feel leads you to desire that, not whether you have a poor opinion of yourself or fear to be alone.

There are also other types of attraction.

There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like cuddling.

There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty (you can't take your eyes off them).

There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a close friendship with someone.

And more.
 

For advice, one way to get around your insecurities might be to seek a Queerplatonic Relationship instead of a Romantic one: http://wiki.asexuality.org/Queerplatonic

Thank you this really helps :)

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MichaelTannock

You're welcome!

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maybeimamazed

There's no way to figure out anything about yourself when you have serious self-esteem issues. Have you ever considered going to therapy? it can be really good for you.

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