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What should i think about my boyfriend


Hannah.19

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Hello everyone,

Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship we never met yet but we really love each other but we had problems for us to meet the big problem was i didn't have money but it's normal for me i am student and my family don't give me enough money so it's about to meeting in summer because my money was not good but i still ask for him to meet but he said he doesn't want to meet me like that and after time i found a ticket in another country and said i can buy it and have money until that day and he just said it's okay let's meet and after i get it my costs getting much and i just couldn't handle and i found job at the same time with my school and i didn't handle school so i quit school for this year without my parents knowing and work very much hard to collect money for our trip but it wasn't still enough so we agreed for me to pay hotel money some part for later it was the last thing because i really wouldn't give that money and then my plane is cancelled like joke and i wasn't really have money to buy new one and my tickets are going to return later to me and new tickets much more expensive so i told her to buy me but he said he doesn't have money until new month and doesn't want to her family knows about it and i just said that i can pay the money for money in trip so he can give me when we meet and use him money but he said i need to compensate but i would already do that anyway to give him money back because clearly he wants it back and i am starting think that he is stingy and my boyfriend is 6 years older than me and has own job and gaining really well and we are from another countries he is living in Portugal but i am in Turkey so even the money returns he has more advantaged of me and he can do many things with him money but when it's about a little amount like 100 euros he wants it back and i am working really hard to close this amount but i am really disappointed because i thought we love each other and it wouldn't be problem for some things especially for money and when i told it to my friends they never understand me just say that he needed to do much things for me he would just be okay but now i am feeling really down i need to study now working in job all day and i really in love with him but this money things make me so sad and i don't like to work for it but he isn't care even about this and i am trying to explain but he thinks i have problem with money. Do you think i should really work hard until i get rid of debts?

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I think you should get rid of him and move on with your life and find what you want to do with your life. He sounds like a jerk. You have given up so much while it sounds like he hasn’t. So dump him and find yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea, don’t water your time with someone who isn’t worth it. 

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I wouldn't put it quite bluntly like squid did, since I think it's better to take the time to think and feel through things, and since your feelings are involved..
That said, dropping out of education and working just to have money to meet him is a pretty big thing to do, and if he isn't incredibly appreciative that you would do something like that, I would really re-examine the relationship and see if he really does care.

 

Maybe it would be worth talking more on skype (or anything with video) and seeing more how you both feel more before anything big.
And you should definitely be taking care of your life, as well. Love is worth exploring, but you have to take care of yourself too.
 

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Okay... maybe I understand the situation? This isn't a comment on the English level, by the way, but by the pacing and lack of any punctuation or spacing to make it easier to read. It was just difficult to understand because of the thing being one giant sentence larger than most paragraphs.

 

I think the situation is that you want to visit him but it costs a lot and he doesn't want to pay for any of it? The bit about not wanting family to know worried me too.

 

I say drop him. You're working way too hard and he's clearly unappreciative. I think you're focusing too much on him and if he's not willing to put in the effort or money, they he's not worth it. 

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Do I understand this right?

 

You both want to meet, he has a steady job, you dropped out of school to pay part of the trip because he wouldn't pay the whole trip (for one person)?

 

And you are in a committed relationship although you've never met? (Both of you see it that way?)

 

Please, take care of yourself, finish school, it's very important. Love can be so strong, I remember from a few times when I was so hopelessly in love, I was so certain that there was some kind of fate that had determined that I would love this person forever and ever. Well, if it feels that way, you can wait until you can meet safely without you risking school or money, your and his love will still be strong. You will do him no good if you drop out of school and can't get a good job to support your future household.

 

(the way you describe your boyfriend, he sounds rather fishy/strange to me, though... how often do you contact eachother?)

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