Wouldn't sexual fantasies count as mental arousal?

[HikaruBG]

Well, I have been thinking of making this topic for quite awhile but I had troubles with formulating the OP.

Also, I'm not entirely sure if this is the right sub-forum for this. If it's not, please move it where you see it fits.

 

So a little bit of context here. I don't remember in what topic exactly was this but there was someone who said that asexual don't expierence mental arousal and well, I started thinking about this statement.

 

Yes, while I agree that asexual don't expierence a specific type of mental arousal/desire (a.i. the mental desire to have sex with others IRL) however don't think that they completely don't expierence mental arousal 100%.

Otherwise, how would you explain asexuals who have sexual fantasies (autochorrisexuality.... esh, it's so difficult to spell that word without looking it up)? After all, fantasies in general are mental images, are they not? And with the cases of sexual fantasies, asexual may use them to induce certain physical responses.

 

So, why wouldn't they count as mental arousal?

Also, I have another question - would having sexual fantasies fall under someone's libido (like hormones influencing someone's thought process) or is this something else entirely?

 

Spoiler

OP's note: Please keep in mind that I'm not talking about wanting to turn this fantasy true or something like that. The topic isnct really about that...

 

[PollyB]

Absolutely.  I suspect the issue is with the "someone" who was very assertive about what asexuals do or don't experience.  We're a hugely diverse community, always have been.  That worries some people, and every now and then someone will come along and try to tidy up the definitions to match their own needs more clearly.   This is one of those - it's just not true that no asexuals experience mental arousal, though it clearly makes sense to the person who said it.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, CBC said:

No clue. Of course they're mental arousal, imo. If someone is fantasising about something, that seems exactly like mental arousal. Just thinking of something doesn't automatically equate to any sort of arousal (for example, I can conceive of the idea of... god, I dunno... giving a blow job to someone dressed in a furry costume, and good lord I do not want to do that, ever), but if you're fantasising about something, that generally implies a positive response to those thoughts, and that you're actively cultivating them for enjoyment's sake. So yeah, I'd say that's some type of mental arousal.

I can't figure out if it's because you're gay or it because it's a furry. Because if you're a closet furry we all love you. 

 

 

; )

[Grimalkin]

Asexual people, just like straight people, gay people, bi people, etc., are impossible to pin down as "well, ALL asexuals are like..."

 

However, I'm pretty confident that I'm asexual and I experience mental arousal. Just not directed at real live people, as you suspected.

 

As for the libido thing, I'm not sure. I think it definitely falls in line with hormones or something for me; I normally don't have very many sexual thoughts at all, and when I do, it'll be for about a week or so and then go away again. 

[Guest]

13 hours ago, HikaruBG said:

 

So, why wouldn't they count as mental arousal?

Well regardless of whether it counts or not, aces can experience mental and physical arousal, but they have no desire to connect sexually with other people as a result of that arousal.

 

[HikaruBG]

3 hours ago, PollyB said:

Absolutely.  I suspect the issue is with the "someone" who was very assertive about what asexuals do or don't experience.  We're a hugely diverse community, always have been.  That worries some people, and every now and then someone will come along and try to tidy up the definitions to match their own needs more clearly.   This is one of those - it's just not true that no asexuals experience mental arousal, though it clearly makes sense to the person who said it.

I didn't create this topic to call them out, no. I don't even remember who it was.

I, in fact, did agree with them in that topic but I guess something struck with me with that statement being wrong in a way, hence why I made this topic to hear other opinions.

[Guest]

13 hours ago, HikaruBG said:

Also, I have another question - would having sexual fantasies fall under someone's libido (like hormones influencing someone's thought process) or is this something else entirely?

Hmmm... my sexual fantasies generally align with my libido I think? If I'm aroused, I fantasize. And I have to fantasize when I masturbate, but yeah it only happens if my libido is doing it's thing. 

[HikaruBG]

42 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

I guess I'm not sure why you're asking, because no really ever said aces can't experience mental arousal, and if they did I have no idea what they were going for. Aces can experience mental and physical arousal, but they have no desire to connect sexually with other people as a result of that arousal.

Most of the time when I hear "mental arousal", most of the people (not just the person in question) always referred to it as mental arousal/desire for sex with specific people. This is especially true when I look up Arousal Non-concordance phenomenon. They never talked about sexual fantasies being counted as mental arousal as their are mental images at their core... Which is where a lot of confusion comes from.

 

Perhaps it's that people see sexual fantasies differently or something?

[Guest]

6 hours ago, HikaruBG said:

Most of the time when I hear "mental arousal", most of the people (not just the person in question) always referred to it as mental arousal/desire for sex with specific people. This is especially true when I look up Arousal Non-concordance phenomenon. They never talked about sexual fantasies counting as mental arousal as their ate mental images at their core... Which is where a lot of confusion comes from.

 

Perhaps it's people see sexual fantasies differently or something?

Well no form of arousal makes someone 'not ace' unless that arousal leads to a desire to actually have sex with someone else

 

For me, mental arousal equates to fantasies. If I'm just physically aroused but not aroused *in my brain* then I just get really pissed off at the arousal and 'take care of it quickly' to get rid of it, but it's really difficult because my brain refuses to go to sexual places which makes orgasm really difficult and grueling.

 

If I'm actually mentally aroused though, my brain goes down the rabbit hole of thinking about intimacy with whichever character I'm currently into (it's never me being intimate with them though, that would be weird - but a person I invent and insert into the situation), and my brain gets really carried away and it's very distracting. I can't control what my brain is doing, or stop it from going down that rabbit hole (which can sometimes be pretty disturbing the more aroused I am) until I am able to 'deal with the physical arousal' and if I don't, my brain stays on this constant loop of ...those graphic things with said person, which becomes more and more depraved the longer my arousal goes undealt with 😧 like I might be trying to do dishes or whatever, and my brain is just bombarded with.. well yeah, weird stuff that I can't control.

 

So I figured that's how mental arousal was for everyone? It's not mere fantasizing (which is just imagining I guess) it's an actual brain hunger where your brain is forcing you to try to orgasm.

 

However, if that never led you to desire sexual intimacy with another person, that would still be asexual

[- Saph -]

 

12 hours ago, HikaruBG said:

Yes, while I agree that asexual don't expierence a specific type of mental arousal/desire (a.i. the mental desire to have sex with others IRL) however don't think that they completely don't expierence mental arousal 100%.

Otherwise, how would you explain asexuals who have sexual fantasies (autochorrisexuality.... esh, it's so difficult to spell that word without looking it up)? After all, fantasies in general are mental images, are they not? And with the cases of sexual fantasies, asexual may use them to induce certain physical responses.

 

So, why wouldn't they count as mental arousal?

I agree with this because mental arousal does not need to come from sexual fantasies.

It can be built on other kind of fantasies (aesthetic, fetish, spiritual,...) or be triggered by a psychological effect (intense happiness, suspension bridge effect,...).

[SithLord]

15 hours ago, CBC said:

giving a blow job to someone dressed in a furry costume

That just made it very difficult to look like I'm being productive at my desk. lmao

[SithLord]

To answer the OP: Yes, I think they count as mental arousal. But I disagree that asexuals can't experience mental or physical arousal. After all, if I get hot and bothered when two characters in a manga I'm reading are going at it, but have no desire to engage in that activity myself, why does it matter? 

[natsume]

Just reminds me of the furry scene from the shining.

[Guest]

Ok not being distracted by the furry convo.. (CBC ! You always get things in such interesting directions ! 😛 ) 

 

Are you sure it was that they can't experience mental arousal, or just that likely what's missing for those who can't enjoy sex with a partner is mental /emotional arousal, even though the physical arousal is there ? Because, two very different statements. Obviously, asexuals masturbate and probably for that experience all types of arousal. But, if physical arousal exists and you just can't get there partnered likely the mental / emotional component is missing due to lack of attraction/desire, which will make sex blah to eww. 

[HikaruBG]

That's very confusing to me as well, I'm not going to lie.

 

 

2 hours ago, Serran said:

Are you sure it was that they can't experience mental arousal, or just that likely what's missing for those who can't enjoy sex with a partner is mental /emotional arousal, even though the physical arousal is there ? Because, two very different statements. Obviously, asexuals masturbate and probably for that experience all types of arousal. But, if physical arousal exists and you just can't get there partnered likely the mental / emotional component is missing due to lack of attraction/desire, which will make sex blah to eww. 

It's more of the semantics of what counts as mental arousal and what not.

Like I said, I see this every time when I look up Arousal Non-concordance, a.i. physical arousal and mental arousal, and how disconnection can exists between those two.

Mental arousal was always referred as the desire to have sex with someone, hence why people can A.) feel physically aroused but don't actually desires to have sex or B.) desires sex but can't get physically aroused (both A and B are examples of Arousal Non-concordance).

They do not at all touch sexual fantasies. It seems like most people don't consider sexual fantasies to be mental arousal but rather, mental stimuli which leads to mental arousal and physical arousal.... similarly how watching/reading porn would be stimuli for physical and mental arousal.

 

Obviously, yes, asexual can experience mental arousal but it would be a very specific mental arousal that's not talked about.