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HikaruBG

Yet, another evidence that you guys do not belive in your own definitions.

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HikaruBG

Hoo boy, this is going to be a disaster! I'm probably making a huge mistake creating this topic, I'm afraid that I will be banned for this.

 

Before I say anything... no I was not the one who made that post there. I was browsing my feed page when I came across this lovely (sarcasm) Reddit post here.

I was already subscribed to that sub-reddit but this is the first time ever seeing something AVEN related there.

I have no idea who have said that or who made that post (no, it wasn't me), nor do I want you to witch-hunt them.

That's not the topic here.

 

You are not preaching what you are saying and now, you too are the cause of misinformation that is going around about Asexuality. Why not just admit that you guys don't care already?!

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

Ummm people can believe what they want.  Nobody needs to police that

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PoeciMeta

Hmmm. I indeed don't care in the slightest. I guess there's an explanation though. 

If we assume sexuality is a spectrum and asexuality is one end of it, the 0%, the Nope Zone, then only sex-averse (at least) aces would really be ace. But if you zoom enough, the end of a hypothetical sexual spectrum wouldn't be asexuality, it would be The Single Most Sex-repulsed individual on Earth, and a small zone next to it, the Very Little Sexual Stuff zone, would be considered ace. But it's impossible to determine how little is little enough. Ergo, there will always be a blurry zone. Within it, whether you're ace or not depends on your opinion, in fact. 

I guess one could not feel attraction but like the feeling. If we take yet another food metaphor, I never (ever!) feel compelled to eat oranges when I see them, but I still kinda like their taste. So do I like oranges or not? Guess what, I don't care one bit ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯  I let people think what they'll think. The debate will never be solved anyway~

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Janus DarkFox

I see that Outside-AVEN communications has strayed some what.  I’ve followed r/TumblrInAction for years, nobody can police off-AVEN.  The post shows mostly positive comments, this has boosted the Asexuality profile a bit.

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CBC

Lol. My former partner (who is asexual, and fairly active on several asexual subreddits) linked me to that last night. He wondered if maybe the post quoted in the screenshot was mine ('tisn't, but I certainly agree with it).

 

Yeah, we've got a mess here, folks.

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HikaruBG
20 minutes ago, Janus DarkFox said:

I see that Outside-AVEN communications has strayed some what.  I’ve followed r/TumblrInAction for years, nobody can police off-AVEN.  The post shows mostly positive comments, this has boosted the Asexuality profile a bit.

There is nothing positive about those comments... It just more spreading of misinformation and people joining the bandwagon.

 

Again, I'm not talking about policing stuff outside of AVEN. I'm talking about that you guys don't believe in your own definitions, that you yourself listed here.

This is the definition you guys have been using for the past years (I checked with  the Wayback Machine  ), even if it's worded differently over the years, so why???

 

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pook

you know the drama is getting pathetic when people start creating accounts on other websites to try to win

 

giphy.gif

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MichaelTannock

What is this thread meant to accomplish?

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Moon Spirit ☽

Lame.

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thyristor

Which definition do you refer to? Your link leads to many different FAQ's.

 

The first thing that was credenced to me on this forum is, anyways, that it can change how you define yourself.

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thyristor

And who is included in "You guys"? Since we are all so different on this forum....

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pook
9 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

What is this thread meant to accomplish?

if you create 10 invalidation threads and you get a free coffee and donut

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MichaelTannock
2 minutes ago, pook said:

if you create 10 invalidation threads and you get a free coffee and donut

Ah, well in that case, here's a "Coffee & Donuts" cake (all edible),

http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/43079-coffee-donuts

qnqgldztfna1kg8ao7oc.jpg

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Janus DarkFox

The front page I see may need an update if forum definitions has changed.

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Grimalkin

Let me let you in on a little secret: Any one group, be it a sexuality, a race, a religion, a culture, etc., is full of people who believe very different things about what it means to be that thing. 

 

There's 100% some people out there who are like "I love sex and I'm asexual." There are people who adore sex with the same gender but consider themselves straight. There are just so many people in this world, and they all have complicated reasons for believing what they believe. 

 

Yes, asexuality has a definition. Yes, there are people who don't fit that definition in a classic sense but still want to call themselves asexual. And so what? If they spread what you consider to be misleading information about what it means to be asexual, then you gently reaffirm what you believe about it when people ask. This is not the hill I am planning to die on. 

 

So saying "You guys"-- you Democrats, you Muslims, you lesbians, you men-- doesn't actually mean anything. The groups are so varied and so full of diversity that you have to get awfully specific when you want to address one. But of course, "Yet another evidence that you asexual people who enjoy sex believe that asexual people can enjoy sex" isn't going to stir up as much drama as is wanted. 

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MichaelTannock

I've pretty much given up at this point.
People know what definitions I use because I post them all the time.
But every time I've gotten involved with this topic, despite having the best of intentions, I see no end in sight.

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FaerieFate

People there seem to be more understanding of sex-favorable aces and genuinely nicer. Maybe I should focus my education efforts there instead of on AVEN. At least that membership would appreciate it.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

As a sexual who is meh on sex (but likes parts of it I guess?) I don't see the issue with sex favorable aces.

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KYON.
3 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

I've pretty much given up at this point.
People know what definitions I use because I post them all the time.
But every time I've gotten involved with this topic, despite having the best of intentions, I see no end in sight.

You made an effort to sort out this mess and it was admirable. TBH, you went way over and above what you need to do as a mod and I think it reflects well on you. 
 

I don’t think there’s an end in sight though. The board isn’t going to change its stance and the people who (understandably) don’t like that stance aren’t suddenly going to agree with it. 
 

All that can happen at this point is another thread gets made every few days and the same people argue in circles until we inevitably all perish as a result of global warming. 

I understand why people are passionate and why they care, but surely people can see it’s a losing battle by this point. 

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Snao Cone

This isn't going to stop until someone sacrifices themselves to the validation gods, is it? Well, I mean, I guess I don't have much other purpose here...

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Janus DarkFox
1 hour ago, MichaelTannock said:

I've pretty much given up at this point.
People know what definitions I use because I post them all the time.
But every time I've gotten involved with this topic, despite having the best of intentions, I see no end in sight.

I’d often take a keen step back when there’s argument and let everything come to its own natural conclusion.

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HikaruBG
2 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

Hmmm. I indeed don't care in the slightest. I guess there's an explanation though. 

If we assume sexuality is a spectrum and asexuality is one end of it, the 0%, the Nope Zone, then only sex-averse (at least) aces would really be ace. But if you zoom enough, the end of a hypothetical sexual spectrum wouldn't be asexuality, it would be The Single Most Sex-repulsed individual on Earth, and a small zone next to it, the Very Little Sexual Stuff zone, would be considered ace. But it's impossible to determine how little is little enough. Ergo, there will always be a blurry zone. Within it, whether you're ace or not depends on your opinion, in fact. 

I guess one could not feel attraction but like the feeling. If we take yet another food metaphor, I never (ever!) feel compelled to eat oranges when I see them, but I still kinda like their taste. So do I like oranges or not? Guess what, I don't care one bit ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯  I let people think what they'll think. The debate will never be solved anyway~

Your comment is mostly irrelevant because I know (I'm saying that because I only have this acc for 3 years most of which I didn't even use it or have been active... until recently) that there has have been countless of debates over the years on exactly that and that no one was saying that only sex-repulsed/sex-aversed asexuals are the true asexuals and that sex-indifferent asexuals and sex-favourite asexuals (a.i. those who can enjoy the activity but don't desire it and seek it) aren't really asexual. But it all seemed like all of that went over your heads.... and I'm not talking about "you" specifically but the site as whole.

 

In fact, what was the point of those debates if people will continue to say the same shit over and over again, regardless what's been told to them?

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LeChat

@Grimalkin Good post.

 

I just thought it might, perhaps, be helpful to add that, regardless of definitions on AVEN, there are and have always been others (particularly outside of AVEN) who aren't ace who'd comment that they were confused about what asexuality/asexual/ meant (and even hostile comments about it being a term thought up by Millenials, liberals, vegans, etc.), whenever an asexual documentary, interview or article was posted.

 

So, if the intention is to blame AVEN/AVEN staff's definition of asexuality, for others' confusion and/or hostile reactions around the internet, etc. that's not entirely fair or accurate because there are other biases and assumptions that others have always made about asexuality/asexuals, sometimes, due to perceived age differences, political affiliation differences, personal beliefs, etc. that won't or can't be magically changed, just by AVEN updating or changing their definition of asexuality.

 

For example, one poster commented that, they personally believe that asexuality shouldn't be considered a sexual orientation. That doesn't have anything to do with what AVEN's definition is or isn't; it means that, no matter what AVEN's definition was or is on the website, there will still others who feel that asexuality shouldn't be considered a sexual orientation, who'd just want to complain about asexuality/asexuals, etc.

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Laurann

Yeah this just boils down to whether you consider cupiosexuals to fall within the asexual umbrella and whether you think such an umbrella exists. Some do, some don't. 

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PoeciMeta
1 hour ago, HikaruBG said:

Your comment is mostly irrelevant because I know (I'm saying that because I only have this acc for 3 years most of which I didn't even use it until recently) that there has have been countless of debates over the years on exactly and that no one was saying that only sex-repulsed/sex-aversed asexuals are the true asexuals and that sex-indifferent asexuals and sex-favourite asexuals (a.i. those who enjoy the activity but don't desire it and seek it) aren't really asexual. But it all seemed like all of that went over your heads.... and I'm not talking about "you" specifically but the site as whole.

 

In fact, what was the point of those debates if people will continue to say the same shit over and over again?

Yeah, my comment about sex-averse aces was mostly to show that asexuality being only the end of said spectrum was a bit problematic somewhere, even if I mostly agree with it. 

 

Meh, groups of people will never ever be strictly definable anyway. I hadn't debated about this before, so I gave it a shot, and, well, meh. 

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HikaruBG
45 minutes ago, elisabeth_II said:

Which definition do you refer to? Your link leads to many different FAQ's.

 

The first thing that was credenced to me on this forum is, anyways, that it can change how you define yourself.

picard-facepalm.jpg

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MichaelTannock

I'm sure everyone can relate to the Picard meme.

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FaerieFate
26 minutes ago, KYON. said:

You made an effort to sort out this mess and it was admirable. TBH, you went way over and above what you need to do as a mod and I think it reflects well on you. 
 

I don’t think there’s an end in sight though. The board isn’t going to change its stance and the people who (understandably) don’t like that stance aren’t suddenly going to agree with it. 
 

All that can happen at this point is another thread gets made every few days and the same people argue in circles until we inevitably all perish as a result of global warming. 

I understand why people are passionate and why they care, but surely people can see it’s a losing battle by this point. 

The fact that Michael is sick of this shows how tiring and trying this is at this point. I'll be the first to admit I have no patience, especially since I've been so sick recently. Michael is what I always hoped for in a mod. He's so patient and understanding. The fact that it's gotten to the end of his seemingly limitless amount of impatience is sad. 

 

It also quite upsets me because I feel like his patience is being abused here by people who aren't listening and I'm worried membership will cost us good mods over this. 

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HikaruBG
15 hours ago, Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte said:

Ummm people can believe what they want.  Nobody needs to police that

Yes, people can also believe that the Earth is flat and 6000 years old and what not. This is why those debates exists as well, to challenge those believes because they are not only incorrect but also potentially harmful. But somehow AVEN is different because here everyone can believe in whatever the hell they think asexuality is and sexual attraction is, and everyone is asexual if they claim so.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte
3 minutes ago, HikaruBG said:

Yes, people can also believe that the Earth is flat and 6000 years old and what not. This is why those debates exists as well, to challenge those believes because they are not only incorrect but also potentially harmful. But somehow AVEN because here everyone can believe in whatever the hell they think asexuality is and sexual attraction is, and everyone is asexual if they claim so.

and...your point?  I'm actually kind of okay with that here.

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