Agender? Non-binary? Female?

[LizbethHope]

I'm honest so confused at the moment with my gender identity. I've been talk to a trans friend of mine, and its honestly made me realise how uncomfortable I am in my own body. To be entirely honest, I'd be much happier if I had no sex organs whatsoever, and looked androgynous. I know there is some correlation between autism and girls being uncomfortable in their own bodies and I'm wonder if it may just be that? I'm happy with she/her and they/them, and any neo pronouns although none have stuck out to me, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable with he/him? To be entirely honestly I'm not sure I feel too comfortable with she/her but I'm just used it. 
Any help would be met with much love. 

[Galactic Turtle]

I wish I were sexless, nevertheless I am a female. Perhaps it would help to think about why your body makes you uncomfortable.

 

Mine does because:

 

1. Periods... and my entire reproductive system.

2. *insert long list detailing the impact centuries of sexism have had on the reality of being female*

 

But that is all about sex, not gender. I could call myself agender or something similar all I want. My reality would still be the same.

[Bloc]

Just a short notice: Being autistic doesn't invalidate being trans and/or non-binary. Being trans/non-binary and being autistic show some correlation, but don't invalidate each other.

 

Maybe a question you should ask yourself is why do you feel uncomfortable with your body? Is it due to the expectations from society, sexism, etc. or is it something coming from yourself and how you perceive yourself? This is not something I want to know from you, but something which might help you.

 

Anyway how you are is valid and I wish you the best for exploring your gender.

 

 

[Janus the Fox]

I’m autistic and I’ve had the same line of questioning as well, wishing to be less sexed and gendered wanting little to do with my own male body.

 

Whats helped me a bit was taking a keen read of Gender Forums Gender masterlist, even if it’s not perfect, it helped me out

 

[PoeciMeta]

^Yeah it's important to differentiate gender from other types of discomfort. 

I'm in a similar situation: AFAB, autistic, wants an androgynous body. After investigating my gender, I decided I didn't have one, which makes me agender. There's no magical answer, either way you'll still have to do your own soul searching. I'd suggest something simple for starters: if you try calling yourself, female, then non-binary, then male, or whatever gender you're drawn to, when do you feel like you're most respecting yourself? Is there a label that sounds unpleasant when  applied to you? Is there one you would like to fit under? It's not always easy, you might encounter the infamous ''not trans enough'' feeling at some point, but please know that you're as valid as anyone else, and you're allowed to not get everything right and go back on your decisions anytime. And if you end up deciding you're cis, it's also fine to want to be androgynous and you're totally allowed to pursue that. 

[LizbethHope]

36 minutes ago, Bloc said:

Just a short notice: Being autistic doesn't invalidate being trans and/or non-binary. Being trans/non-binary and being autistic show some correlation, but don't invalidate each other.

 

Maybe a question you should ask yourself is why do you feel uncomfortable with your body? Is it due to the expectations from society, sexism, etc. or is it something coming from yourself and how you perceive yourself? This is not something I want to know from you, but something which might help you.

 

Anyway how you are is valid and I wish you the best for exploring your gender.

 

 

I'm really sorry if it sounded like I was invalidating autistic trans peeps, that 100% wasn't my intention. I just know that my concept of gender is typed to my own autism and the way that I view myself in that.

[abandoned-account]

I am very much similar. I despise having all the “female parts” of my body; breasts, uterus, the reproductive function (the thought of it alone makes me feel nauseous), periods, etc. 

The social aspect of it all makes it all the more worse, but well, that is the fault of society and not the female sex itself. I just believe in supporting equality to all regardless of biological sex or gender, and I am thankful to be in a place where we have (mostly) equal rights today.

 

I too feel confusion on whether I best identify as female (only because that’s the body I have) or non-binary, but I don’t feel the need to change my pronouns (I go by either f or gender-neutral). 
That being said though I also like to stick with the idea that gender is only label for your physical state (or the one you psychologically feel you’re in), and doesn’t define who you are as a person.

[Bloc]

43 minutes ago, LizbethHope said:

I'm really sorry if it sounded like I was invalidating autistic trans peeps, that 100% wasn't my intention. I just know that my concept of gender is typed to my own autism and the way that I view myself in that.

I didn't want to imply that you were invalidating autistic trans people. I've written this because I read this so often and wanted to assure you that this does not invalidate how you feel about your gender.

[Guest]

To be honest I feel like there's more of a correlation with being agender and autistic rather than just trans. 

[PoeciMeta]

2 hours ago, KrysLost said:

To be honest I feel like there's more of a correlation with being agender and autistic rather than just trans. 

That's possible, I'd say we have a hard time understanding gender, with it being mostly social, so those of us who have dysphoria might be more likely to be more drawn to agender.