Sexuality blamed on something else

[qquuqquuqu]

A relationship I had with a girl didn't work out when I was still discovering my sexuality but we remained friends.  After that I tried having a homosexual relationship to explore that side.  Well I have epilepsy and when I was discussing a recent seizure with her she had the bright idea "Oh I know, the seizures are the reason you're a homosexual."  I know it's not true but it still bothered me a little, and she seems pretty convinced despite me telling her otherwise.  Have you ever had your sexuality blamed on something else? And how should I have responded since telling her it's unrelated didn't change her mind?

[AceMissBehaving]

I mean that’s not only unscientific, it’s super rude. I’ve had mine brought into question as possibly related to various things, like depression, some forgotten trauma, or hormones which is pretty common I think for asexuality. But never  had someone insist that they were right and I was wrong when I challenged them on it though. Sorry your friend was so dismissive. 
 

I’m it really sure how to respond, I guess maybe present her with the fact there isn’t any correlation. I know a few people with epilepsy, and they are all different orientations, so I really don’t where she could possibly be getting it from 

[qquuqquuqu]

I guess she is just convinced that one of the seizures caused some lasting psychological affect. Maybe it's best to just drop it and let her believe what she wants.

[qquuqquuqu]

Maybe she is upset and settled on a reason why I'm not interested in her.  I probably shouldn't be trying to justify her beliefs.

[qquuqquuqu]

I hadn't thought about it from her point of view.  It does sound more ridiculous thinking about it that way.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Autistic here, to be blamed for everything... ✨

[DryRain]

1 hour ago, qquuqquuqu said:

Maybe she is upset and settled on a reason why I'm not interested in her.  I probably shouldn't be trying to justify her beliefs.

That's probably it my dude.

She probably has her feelings hurt by the relationship not working out (which is valid, but also this kind of things happen), and is reaching for anything making her feel like she was fine and that it wasn't her fault. 

It's a bad situation on both sides, because while she's hurt it doesn't justify dismissing your identity over a random medical condition.

[LeChat]

@Snao van der Cone Tagging you because I thought you might be interested in or could relate to OP's situation, as there aren't that many members who mention having epilepsy.

[abandoned-account]

I remember my brother telling me that he thinks our younger (male) cousin was going to grow up to be gay just because he was raised only by two women (his mom and his grandma) and no men. >_>

[gisiebob]

yeah, asexuality has been "linked" to autism...I don't keep track of the aven census but I think we do have significantly higher rates of autism than the general population? and it could be that people who are autistic are more likely to be asexual, which is whatever, at most a benign 'symptom', but it could just as easily be that those people 'missed out' on parts of our social upbringing that assumes we are straight. or it could just be weighted dice.

 

nature vs nurture in sexuality is a very interesting subject, but it's also very difficult, and not one you'ld want to get wrong.

 

as for your friend, her beliefs are her own, sure. but your orientation is yours to own as well. you might be familiar with aven's stance on labeling people, on these forums it's against the rules to label others, although we are encouraged to make suggestions, as how we are described is a matter of self-actualization, and that goes for why we are that way too. it not perfect system, but I think it is a good rule of thumb to take in a world that requires us to make generalizations.