does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts about sex?

[a.nonymous]

so i know the answer for this is to probably talk to a professional, but i just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this. i’m ace and sex-repulsed, but i sometimes get intrusive thoughts of me having sex or sex scenes from movies and it makes me feel sick. is this a normal asexual thing? or is this more serious? also, if this is normal, what can i do to help stop this? thank you 

[LeChat]

I don't get intrusive thoughts about stuff like that. Of course, I don't watch many movies with sex scenes in them, but even when I occasionally come across them, I don't have any intrusive thoughts, afterward.

 

I don't know. I have heard from others who grew up sexually abused and who weren't ace, who said they would sometimes feel worried about sex, feel anxious and sick about the idea of having sex with a partner or just certain positions that reminded them of their trauma, etc.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I used to, because I was so stressed that I was going to be forced into having sex, both because of social norms and because I was being abused at the time. One of the abuser's tactics was to force me to look at pictures of almost (or maybe actually, my memories are pretty hazy of that time) naked men to get me to admit they were sexy or that I was horny. Thus, I became incredibly paranoid, confused and fearful of anything sex-related, ended up worrying myself ill, getting intrusive thoughts, being very sex-repulsed...

 

Whether it's normal or not is irrelevant - it's clearly causing you distress so I would suggest either outside therapy or personal therapy (self help). Being on AVEN has helped my repulsion fade a lot, and I rarely have intrusive thoughts (about sex anyway) any more. I'm also away from my abuser, which helps, obvs.

[darvyn]

i see it as any other thing that people don't want to think about but the thoughts occasionally... well, intrude. they're called intrusive thoughts for a reason. i think it's normal for your brain to think about things you don't want to, therefore you just have to develop coping techniques.

 

though it's perfectly plausible that i'm entirely wrong about this.

 

i would handle the situation personally by finding something else to focus on when the intrusive thoughts arrive. as anthracite mentioned, self-help and therapy might be helpful for you. for the time being, i handle my intrusive thoughts by thinking about it logically and the possibility of whatever it is i'm thinking about happening. usually once i realize the ridiculousness of the thought, it disappears.

 

hope you can find the help you need!

[gisiebob]

it's a normal(ish) human thing. have you tried not slamming the door closed on these antagonistic ideas as it were? invite them in for tea, hear them out and let them leave when they are ready to. I don't know if that's good advice or not

[4evaawesome]

I dont know if it's normal but I do get annoyed at sex scenes in movies or shows ngl, and it's kinda sad for my side honestly. I am not 100% sure of my identity yet but I'm guessing I'm most probably an ace and not a demisexual / grey. But ya it gets hard man, I can't just watch any show or movie, I have to research and make sure there won't be scenes I'd get pissed off about. Like the one show I didn't get pissed off about about sex was Jane the Virgin because of the narrative and comedic commentary... Otherwise? I feel so sick man and I don't know what to feel or what to do either 😅

[atpeacewithmyself]

It's totally normal to have sexually intrusive thoughts. If it's bothering you then a visit with a therapist is in order. Remember a therapist can't get rid of the thoughts but they can help you to manage your feelings.