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tits? dysphoric, ace shit, or scars?


elizabeth17

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Hi friends! recently came to terms with my asexuality and (likely) demi-panromanticism, but now I'm starting to think about some gender stuff. I  went to a single-sex female catholic school from first grade through senior year. I remember when I started puberty I really hated my breasts. At the time I figured this was because my sister who has this super rare genetic condition and isn't much younger than me doesn't have any breast tissue at all. As time went on, though and I matured I thought my main reason for wanting to cover them is because I have a really large scar on my chest from 3 open heart surgeries and I hate getting asked about it. But now I'm starting to realize it's not just that I'm not into low cut things I just hate any bra that isn't a sports-bra because it make my tits look bigger. When I first discovered asexuality I thought maybe it's just that I've always hated to be sexualized/the idea of someone thinking of me as a sexual being. But now I've started wondering if it might be it's own thing altogether. I don't dislike she/her pronouns and while I usually hate dresses sometimes I like them. I'd say I dress like a grandma lol (big old sweaters and clogs make me real happy). So idk if there's any kind of gender-queerness going on. Anyone relate to this? 

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I can relate. I hate my breasts too, though mainly nipples. But I hated dresses and skirts all throughout school. I viewed it as dress-up and pretend, not real clothes that I represented me. Then I chopped my hair off and was able to do and wear what I wanted, and now I find I'm in a comfortable grey area between androgyny and feminine. I can wear dresses and enjoy them, I can fancy clothes that don't feel like me taking on a roll. I identify as demi-girl where it matters, so still keep my female pronouns and consider myself a girl for as far as most people are concerned. 

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