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Rocco Andrea

Am I Asexual?

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Rocco Andrea

So I’m a 16 year old boy, all my life I have always been interested in a romantic relationship with a girl so when I hit puberty it was really odd that I found myself not too interested in any sexual relationship, I still did (and do) masturbate but mostly to my disgusting fetish, that I’ve had for all my life and that I’m trying to get rid of (and has got nothing to do with sex anyway), and only very rarely to an actual sexual intercorse with a woman.
 

Recently I started thinking I might be gay because I just am not as interested in sex as my peers are but checking out gay erotica I quickly realised that I’m not, gay sex really disgusts me I couldn’t ever be in a relationship with a men and especially not have sexual intercourse with one. Still I kept having some sort of doubt until I came across this website discovering a sexuality and gray-a and I’m starting to think I might be one of you.

 

So, summarising: 

I am interested in having a romantic relationship with a girl;

I am mildly interested in sex with a girl;

the thing that arouses me the most is my non-sexual fetish;

i am totally disgusted by gay sex;

I am not at all interested in romantic relationships with men. 
Do I fall anywhere under the asexual umbrella?

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Happi
22 minutes ago, Rocco Andrea said:

Do I fall anywhere under the asexual umbrella?

From what I understand about asexuality and what you wrote, by definition, you might be! But that's mostly up to you. If you don't fit the definition perfectly, that's okay. Generally, asexuality is described with a lack of physical attraction and desire for partnered sexuality, I think. Asexual people can masturbate from time to time and still identify as an asexual person. Don't stress over finding a label that perfectly fits and explains how you feel. You can use them as a starting point in understanding yourself but from that point forward, you have to learn to be comfortable with it. And don't worry if it's not constant. One day, you might suddenly find that how you felt before is no longer the case. Nothing is set in stone.

I'm personally still trying to figure things out too so sorry if I'm not giving sage and experienced advice but hopefully my two cents helps you along!

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Aebt-Ætheling

Welcome to AVEN 🍰!

 

First off, we cannot tell you if you are asexual or not, as that is both against the rules and we are not you, so we do not know everything. But I am a 19-year old male so I will try to compare your experiences to my own.

38 minutes ago, Rocco Andrea said:

So, summarising: 

I am interested in having a romantic relationship with a girl;

I am mildly interested in sex with a girl;

the thing that arouses me the most is my non-sexual fetish;

i am totally disgusted by gay sex;

I am not at all interested in romantic relationships with men. 
Do I fall anywhere under the asexual umbrella?

1) I myself am romantic and theoretically would like a romantic relationship, although I am not actively trying to get in one at the moment. Romance does not mean sex.

2) It really depends on what sort of interest you have in having sex. Some asexuals have interest in having sex as a curiosity or a biology experiment, others are indifferent, while others are super repulsed by the idea of sex.

3) Can't really comment here, I myself rarely get aroused and do not have a fetish, but some asexuals do have non-sexual fetishes.

4&5) Exactly the same for me, I could never see myself in a homoromantic relationship, I can't explain why, I just couldn't do it. I don't seem to form romantic feelings towards other males. Similarly while I am fairly indifferent by the idea of having sex with a female I am repulsed by the idea of myself having sex with another male.

6) We can't tell you, but hopefully the experiences of others will help you compare to decide for yourself.

 

While I never thought I was gay some of my closest friends and a few acquaintances openly assumed I was gay.

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TreMartEyes

I can not tell you what your sexuality is or what it should be. Sexuality is difficult for some people. I am almost double your age and still haven't fully figured it out. Live your life follow your passions. You literally have your entire life in front of you. There is no need to have the answers today or tomorrow. Do what makes sense for you at that time and place. Time and experience you will understand your likes and dislikes. There is no need to package your sexuality in a neat box with labels. You own your sexuality and what makes sense for you and you alone. You are going to stress your self out for no reason trying to identify with labels. I only use labels to communicate with other people. Give your self space and time. 

 

-Tre 

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