Jump to content

Is how I feel illogical?


Limpet

Recommended Posts

I have a conundrum, and I need someone removed from the situation to take a logical look at it and tell me if my feelings are logical.
 

Heres the situation. Take these two girls in my maths Class, M, and X. M is a horrible person. She is rude to everyone, doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t do her work, is horrible behind people’s back, talks over the teacher, and is generally a repugnant person all the time. We don’t like M. But then there’s X. She’s usually lovely, far kinder to me than her friends, is attentive and focused in class, and is nice to the teachers. Except in maths. She talks to M a lot. When the teachers talking. She is rude to people behind their backs, including a “friend” of hers. She doesn’t do the work, then gets annoyed when the teacher starts marking and she isn’t done. I’m not sure how to feel here.

 

The question is, is M or X worse? Because though I always feel the same, always there feeling of hatred for M, with X I always feel a sharp pang of hatred when she does these things, and I can’t look at her the same now. I think I should hate M more, that feels more logical, but I just feel annoyed when I think of her, I feel genuinely upset when I think of X. But that doesn’t make sense, she’s still a good person, it’s just M being a poor influence. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Back to Avalon

When it comes to X, you might try separating the person from her actions. You could say that you like X most of the time but don't like the way she acts in math class. I don't know if this is what you're looking for.

Link to post
Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale

I would say your feelings are well-founded. I've been in a similar situation with a friend. For whatever reason whenever she's dating, her personality starts to become like her boyfriend's. When the guy is nice and decent, no problem, but she has a history of dating assholes. With her last boyfriend she started becoming really pretentious, judgemental, and self-centered, which is exactly how I'd describe his character, and I know under normal circumstances she doesn't behave like that. It got to the point where I couldn't take it, so I stepped back from the friendship for a while. We're friends again, and she's dating a guy who seems sweet and compassionate, cross all the fingers, but it's one of those things where I had to make a choice to back out because I knew talking to her wouldn't change it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it depends on if she's acting that way because of M, or if she's always like that and hiding it. I know some people who are very good at pretending to be good people except when they're around others who they can act like jerks around. So they're horrible people, but with a mask. So if X is a bad person wearing the mask of a good person, I'd say she's worse because there's more thoughts and consideration going into her breed of horrible. 

But if M is just influencing X to be a bad person, then yes, M is the worse person and people should try to separate them. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

They both sound like too much effort to figure out. If their not your friends I wouldn't worry about it. If they are, I'd get friends that are consistent in personality.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say X is worse. Because while M is shitty all the time, X is only as shitty as the people around her... and that shows a weak character. X is so unconfident in her own personality that she just feeds off everyone's personality. She is probably decent around you because you (from what it seems) are a decent person. These type of people are toxic, they draw in people who are kind hearted and use them as fillers for when they are not with their "real friends" then throws them away when they get a new boyfriend. In conclusion I respect M more because she is shitty and she knows it. (I would stay away from both if I were you) anyways thank you for listening to my Ted Talk TM, goodbye and good luck :3

Link to post
Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry

M sounds like a jerk, but at least she’s up front with it. X sounds like a two-faced back-stabber. Neither sound like they’re worth your time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Feelings aren't rational to begin with. Even if you determined that your feelings were illogical... would that change them? Probably not.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Look for the logic in their actions rather than in your feelings. There is a reason why they are behaving how they are. People aren't simply bad or good; we're complex and influenced by many things. Spend more time trying to understand them rather than trying to judge them....That's where you'll find the answer to your question.

Link to post
Share on other sites

But the thing is, X has never once, no matter how absolutely horribly the people around her behaved, acted like this before. Her personality was consistent until we were put in this math class. The only thing I can think is that it’s the class in general- there are only a couple of people, me included, who actually pay attention and do their work, and the teacher tries, but she just can’t get control, and I suppose I can see the temptation to just not bother, but it doesn’t explain why she was being deliberately unkind. 
 

The weird thing is, I almost feel betrayed, which makes no sense as we weren’t friends, and she had no obligation to me, she was just someone in a few of my classes. Feelings are the worst.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Back to Avalon
13 hours ago, SamTheSheep said:

Her personality was consistent until we were put in this math class. The only thing I can think is that it’s the class in general- there are only a couple of people, me included, who actually pay attention and do their work, and the teacher tries, but she just can’t get control,

It could be that X doesn't understand the material and so is acting out because she feels lost and frustrated. Or she might want to fit in, not just with M but with the majority of students who aren't paying attention. That is, she might prefer to look like a rebel than a math nerd and diligent student, no offense.

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Back to Avalon said:

It could be that X doesn't understand the material and so is acting out because she feels lost and frustrated. Or she might want to fit in, not just with M but with the majority of students who aren't paying attention. That is, she might prefer to look like a rebel than a math nerd and diligent student, no offense.

She seems to understand, or she always did understand this stuff before. She just doesn't do the work. And none taken, I'm fully aware of how much of an absolute geek I'm sounding. I don't even really like maths.

 

The other problem is her talking negatively about her friend R behind his back. R doesn't act much like most boys in my year- he's not sporty, like the popular kids, or nerdy like my friends, he actually acts more like a lot of the girls. He seems ok, and I assumed he and X would get along, since they were so similar. But M was being horrible about him, and X kind of blamed R for getting bullied, she said if he acted more normal he'd get left alone. Which is completely out of character! She's so nice all the time to everyone, even people like me who are her friends don't like. It just doesn't make sense, at all, which is frustrating.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Back to Avalon

It sounds like M is a mean girl, and mean girls are alphas. Maybe X just wants to be an alpha instead of someone M might be mean to.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Back to Avalon said:

It sounds like M is a mean girl, and mean girls are alphas. Maybe X just wants to be an alpha instead of someone M might be mean to.

Maybe

Link to post
Share on other sites

I try very hard not to judge people.  Often there are things going on that you don't know about that are triggering all sorts of behavior problems. That doesn't mean that you need to be nice to horrible people, just be aware. 

 

I was very unpopular in high school, and was very rude, and basically terrible to everyone. Its not really who / what I was, but what an unfortunate situation at home made me. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/8/2019 at 5:33 PM, SamTheSheep said:

I have a conundrum, and I need someone removed from the situation to take a logical look at it and tell me if my feelings are logical.
 

Heres the situation. Take these two girls in my maths Class, M, and X. M is a horrible person. She is rude to everyone, doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t do her work, is horrible behind people’s back, talks over the teacher, and is generally a repugnant person all the time. We don’t like M. But then there’s X. She’s usually lovely, far kinder to me than her friends, is attentive and focused in class, and is nice to the teachers. Except in maths. She talks to M a lot. When the teachers talking. She is rude to people behind their backs, including a “friend” of hers. She doesn’t do the work, then gets annoyed when the teacher starts marking and she isn’t done. I’m not sure how to feel here.

 

The question is, is M or X worse? Because though I always feel the same, always there feeling of hatred for M, with X I always feel a sharp pang of hatred when she does these things, and I can’t look at her the same now. I think I should hate M more, that feels more logical, but I just feel annoyed when I think of her, I feel genuinely upset when I think of X. But that doesn’t make sense, she’s still a good person, it’s just M being a poor influence. 

do you have m in any other classes? i have seen situations where both people were nice when not near each other and then when they got together they were mean. they could both just be poor influences on each other. Although if none of that applies i think x is the worse person. assholes who are only assholes when nobody who's opinion they care about is around are the worst kind. the word for that is called being a snake, the poisonous kind.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/8/2019 at 2:33 PM, SamTheSheep said:

I think I should hate M more, that feels more logical,

People sit around deciding who they should hate more?

 

I feel old, and out of step.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...