mrkipling Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Hi there! I’m Madison, just a questioning teen here to say hello! It’s nice to meet y’all ^<^I only recently learned about Asexuality and am still not quite sure what to call myself. It’s completely possible I could just be a late bloomer. Even so, it’s a lovely community y’all have here and I hope that even if I turn out to not be ace, I can still check back and say hello! I joined with the hopes of having someone to talk to about my weird little problems; I was incredibly shy about bringing up the topic to my family and even so, was promptly told it was normal to not feel sexual attraction at my age (I’ll be 17 this month). Further discussion of the topic was not really an option at that point - we’ve always been a little uncomfortable discussing topics such as sexuality and gender identity, having a veeeery Christian family background. I do understand where they’re coming from and am completely open to the possibilities; however it was quite frustrating to be shut down so quickly. I was hoping for a warmer welcome here XD also I have a few questions. Can teens know for sure they’re asexual? Is there any certain age where I can finally be like okay, I’m asexual, phew, now I don’t have to worry about people telling me I’m just a late bloomer? What was your “coming out” moment? Were people surprised? Angry? Did they already suspect it? Thank you again if you read this entire post. Have a lovely day/evening! Link to post Share on other sites
Ashley08 Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Hi! I'm Ashley and I'm also very new here lol. I can definitely relate to your situation, I was your age when I first found asexuality (I'm about to turn 19 for reference) and I also wondered if I was just a late bloomer. So far still ace, but I've gotten more comfortable with the idea that maybe one day I will experience sexual attraction. I've realized that no matter what I might end up feeling, identifying as ace is important and validating to me now and no one can take that away. Not sure if that helps but I hope it does! I'm out to some close friends and my brother. All were super accepting and none of them were weird about it either. No "maybe you just haven't found the right person yet," or "how can you know if you've never had sex," type of questions. I think a lot of people are more accepting than you may think, because I've come out to some very Christian people who I was not expecting to take it well. Any way these are just my experiences but I wanted to share them with you because I remember being your age and I also come from a really Christian family so I think we have some stuff in common! I hope you have a great day and welcome!! Link to post Share on other sites
iyote Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Hello and welcome! Have some cake, both of you! Personally, I'm about to turn 18, and I'm ace. I don't think I'm just a late bloomer. The way I see it, first of all, people tend to know their orientations by around 13/14, and age of consent is often 16 to 18 depending on where you live. For most people, sexuality definitely would have developed by this age. Honestly, I think there's a much higher probability that we're just asexual than that we're super-late-bloomers. Second of all, labels can always be changed. If "asexual" seems to fit you now, then there's nothing wrong with adopting the label. If you end up being a late-bloomer after all, you can always find a new label later on. As for my coming out moment, my friends asked me if I was asexual because they were talking about relationships and I was being super ace about it. So yeah, they weren't surprised. We didn't really discuss it though; I just said "yes" and moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
HOOTS Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 If it's any consolation, I didn't realize I was on the ace spectrum until a couple years ago, and I'm gonna be 26 soon! I wish you good luck on your journey of self discovery. Here's your cake, a customary gift given to new members of the forums (with bonus cookies!) Link to post Share on other sites
mrkipling Posted November 5, 2019 Author Share Posted November 5, 2019 Awwwww it was so nice to wake up to these replies this morning! Thanks very much to all of you and I appreciate the support. I appreciate y’all taking the time to share your stories as well - definitely helps me not to feel so alone in all of this. Love y’all and thanks for the cake btw 😛 Link to post Share on other sites
mrkipling Posted November 5, 2019 Author Share Posted November 5, 2019 4 hours ago, HOOTS said: If it's any consolation, I didn't realize I was on the ace spectrum until a couple years ago, and I'm gonna be 26 soon! I wish you good luck on your journey of self discovery. Here's your cake, a customary gift given to new members of the forums (with bonus cookies!) ALSO All Might is absolutely my favorite BNHA character and you have a wonderful profile picture okay that’s all I wanted to say bye Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Welcome! Well I figured it out at 16, and I’m 19 now. I know people who’ve figured it as early as 14 and are now in their 40s. If you feel that it’s the right label, then go for it. If it changes later change it later Also yeah BNHA! Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 @mrkipling A very belated welcome to AVEN! In my case, I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14. I don't think there is an age where the late bloomer suggestion stops, but I've been fortunate enough to avoid it. I've had two coming out experiences; the first I was forced to come out in class, the second I came out to my Dad. The first was awkward, and I think everyone was in disbelief. But in the second, my Dad told me that he'd suspected for years. I even made a thread about that coming out experience, https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/181766-i-came-out-today/ Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "BTS/Kpop" cake (all edible), http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/331699-bts-kpop Link to post Share on other sites
mrkipling Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 Gotcha. Thank you for sharing! I wish my parents had reacted that way 🤣 they don’t believe me at all! though I’m still very much on the edge. I think for me, being a Christian gal who was kinda sheltered growing up, it’s probably less “I’m asexual” than just “I’m not particularly into it at this point in time.” Time will tell, most likely. I hope y’all won’t think less of me if it ends up being that. Thank you for sharing! that BTS cake got me fangirling btw 😂 it looks amazing!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lunala Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Welcome! I think that teens can know that they are asexual - and in fact, people of any age - there isn't really such thing as "too young" or "too old". Some people just naturally "know" their sexual identities, even at a young age. You never see people claiming that kids are "too young" to know if they're straight, so why should someone who isn't straight be "too young" to know? (or at least that's my logic.) There isn't really a certain age, but if you're really paranoid, take a look at people you know that are around your age. If they're into dating and sex and you still aren't, that's a good indicator, though there isn't really a specific age. For me, I'm a 16 year old girl, and if there's anyone who media seems to commonly portrayed as being into sex/dating/boyfriends, it's 16 year old girls. So yup, I'm definitely ace. I haven't officially come out, but my mother does suspect it and I do make it obvious, and she does know that asexuality is a thing and accepts it, and I think she has an ace friend but I haven't met her (The friend is a female). My family is supportive of LGBT. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.