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Am i Aromantic or not?


kattsu

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I identify as asexual too. I just came to this site for some closure, on whether im aromantic or not. Can Aromantics have the desire to kiss their partners? and cuddle? or? I've only been in one relationship in my entire life, which was with a girl, I didn't feel anything throughout the full relationship, which only lasted like a month. I didn't have the heart to say no to her. And, all the crushes I've ever had, the crushes aren't lifelong they just fade away in a couple of weeks and I don't have a desire to continue crushing or be in a relationship with the person I crushed on. 

 

I hope one of you guys can help me so I'm not as so confused anymore.

 

Thanks!

 

 

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To answer your first question regarding kissing, yes as kissing might be under the sensual attraction as opposed to strictly romantic attraction.

52 minutes ago, NaoBabey1212 said:

And, all the crushes I've ever had, the crushes aren't lifelong they just fade away in a couple of weeks and I don't have a desire to continue crushing or be in a relationship with the person I crushed on. 

This, however, I feel I must mention. Crushes are usually not lifelong events, and usually, just as you experience, they fade away (could be any time from fading in 24 hours to fading in years or never at all). So firstly, crushes are romantic, and secondly having crushes fade away is super normal.

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18 minutes ago, Aebt-Ætheling said:

To answer your first question regarding kissing, yes as kissing might be under the sensual attraction as opposed to strictly romantic attraction.

This, however, I feel I must mention. Crushes are usually not lifelong events, and usually, just as you experience, they fade away (could be any time from fading in 24 hours to fading in years or never at all). So firstly, crushes are romantic, and secondly having crushes fade away is super normal.

Ah, I see. to be honest, I never thought about kissing my partner or doing romantic things with them. Define Romantic? like candlelit dinners or going to a park or whatever else there is. I don't think I could kiss people or do romantic things with them. I don't know what I am or what I want. and the crushes thing, I legit don't know. I thought everyone had crushes but I feel like my crushes are different. 

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1 minute ago, NaoBabey1212 said:

Define Romantic?

Romantic is really hard to define, it varies so much for people. Romance is a feeling, like a feeling of friendship or a feeling of sexual connection. How romance manifests itself may be though candlelit dinners for some people, but it might just be a long in-depth discussion of Marx. Sometimes people view the sensual (kissing) inherently tied to the romantic. Sometimes others do not. Sometimes people get a desire to date someone. Sometimes others do not. Usually it is something that feels like there is something special about the person in question, and you might not have a great explanation for why you want to know them more, or your attraction to them seems a bit different than to your friends.

 

The way I experienced it, although this is no means the only way to experience it, was like there was a fascination I had with her. I could not explain it as I really didn't know her that well at first. But she was funny, smart, pretty, etc. It was like I wanted to know her better, pretty much just in a friendly manner (I did/do not want to date) but it was different from my other friends who I got to know their mannerisms and personality more before I wanted to be friends with them. (this was just one of about five instances where I have felt any sort of romantic attraction, but all followed semi-similar patterns for me)

Again, this may be completely different than other romantics experience it.

 

Conveniently (or inconveniently depending on your point of view) sometimes learning more about a person quickly squashes any romantic attraction.

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16 minutes ago, Aebt-Ætheling said:

Romantic is really hard to define, it varies so much for people. Romance is a feeling, like a feeling of friendship or a feeling of sexual connection. How romance manifests itself may be though candlelit dinners for some people, but it might just be a long in-depth discussion of Marx. Sometimes people view the sensual (kissing) inherently tied to the romantic. Sometimes others do not. Sometimes people get a desire to date someone. Sometimes others do not. Usually it is something that feels like there is something special about the person in question, and you might not have a great explanation for why you want to know them more, or your attraction to them seems a bit different than to your friends.

 

The way I experienced it, although this is no means the only way to experience it, was like there was a fascination I had with her. I could not explain it as I really didn't know her that well at first. But she was funny, smart, pretty, etc. It was like I wanted to know her better, pretty much just in a friendly manner (I did/do not want to date) but it was different from my other friends who I got to know their mannerisms and personality more before I wanted to be friends with them. (this was just one of about five instances where I have felt any sort of romantic attraction, but all followed semi-similar patterns for me)

Again, this may be completely different than other romantics experience it.

 

Conveniently (or inconveniently depending on your point of view) sometimes learning more about a person quickly squashes any romantic attraction.

I see. So I have this crush on a girl and she's cute and all but I don't think about kissing her or doing romantic things with her. I don't think I could. 

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