nevermind

[Guest]

disregard please.

[Guest]

well if you have no memories of it then it's hard to say, it could just be that you get crushes easily which is normal. 

[LeChat]

29 minutes ago, ByeYall! said:

I have no recollection of abuse but i have heard that people can repress traumatic experiences...

Yes; apparently, that can be true of some people.

 

https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/memories

 

Quote

If there is so much controversy about childhood memories of abuse, should I still seek help from a mental health provider if I believe I have such a memory?

 

Yes. The issue of repressed or suggested memories has been overreported and sensationalized by the news media. Media and entertainment portrayals of the memory issue have succeeded in presenting the least likely scenario (that of a total amnesia of a childhood event) as the most likely occurrence. The reality is that most people who are victims of childhood sexual abuse remember all or part of what happened to them. Also true is the fact that thousands of people see a psychologist every day and are helped to deal with such things as issues of personal adjustment, depression, substance abuse and problems in relationships. The issues of childhood abuse or questionable memory retrieval techniques never enter into the equation in the great majority of therapy relationships.

 

There are several things that can cause awkwardness in relationships, like shyness, bipolar disorder, abuse, etc., although, not everyone who's been abused automatically "falls in love" with others; for some who've been abused, it's the opposite.

 

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324380.php

[Guest]

@KrysLost and @LeChat thanks for taking time to respond, i appreciate it greatly. 

[Phalena]

40 minutes ago, ByeYall! said:

I was recently reading about the affects of sexual abuse on females and one of the consequences is that they form relationships so easy that they bounce from one partner to the next rather quickly. in all my relationships i could describe myself the same way: I "fall in love" quickly and its so sudden that it's offputting to the other person.  There are extenuating circumstances, being a male, having bi-polar disorder, and living in an apartment complex when i was in my formative years. I was just wondering if this inability to form "normal" relationships possibly be a consequence of some kind of sexual abuse in my childhood? I have no recollection of abuse but i have heard that people can repress traumatic experiences. Any knowledge would be greatly appreciated. 

Huh, I only know the versions of women ending up in toxic relationships where history repeats itself or are never having a relationship because of fear that history could repeat itself. But what you're describing makes sense, too.

 

If you have the feeling that such memories exist then professional help might be a save way to go because you'll be in a protected environment. You won't be judged for your concerns and no one will hurt you no matter if something's there or not.

 

But it might not even be this like @LeChat has already suggested. In that case, the only thing you might need to do is to find someone who has a similiar character trait. In can also help to analyse what kind of attraction it might actually be since there are some of them like: Aesthetical attraction, squishes. It can also be a form of great trust. Have you aver been heavily disappointed? Or did you (theoretically) get along well with these people?

 

It can but doesn't have to be a thing of your up-bringing. We all have learned that we have to fall in love and that love on first sight exists. So, maybe, only maybe you're not even falling in love but it could be a form of compensation, like trying to be normal but becoming akward over it. Since not behaving that way might seem like you could stand out negatively for not doing it. But please don't take that as an definitive answer to your question.

 

Over the internet no one can give you something like a diagnosis and it would be harmful to try.

 

[Guest]

@MiffKeks i know that no one on the internet could offer a diagnosis, but i was just looking for advice. I appreciate all the kind words!

[Sinking_In]

I used to be that way, many years ago, to "fall in love" rather quickly, and in an off putting manner. Nothing crazy, just associated the excitement and butterflies as "love". I also seemed to want to be in a relationship, and it didn't matter much with who, just that they were into me. I suppose I was subjected to a form of sexual abuse as a child, but nothing I would consider traumatizing, myself, but clinically speaking, perhaps it was? Not to demean anyone else's experience, but in my situation it was inappropriate behavior, and I was never touched or forced in any way. I recognize that to someone else that could in fact be very traumatizing. I have also known a number of people who suffered terrible abuse, and their early adult relationships were not healthy for a myriad of reasons. As I got older, though, I took relationships more slowly, associating the excitement of a new relationship as simply being just that. I realized love to me was a conscious choice, and less a feeling, and I became more selective in who I had strong relationships with. I hope that helps.  

[Anthracite_Impreza]

From what I know about bipolar, could it possibly be linked to a manic state? I don't honestly believe repressed memories are anywhere near as common as is often made out, especially not decades after the abuse has ended. I've had a few memories that came back to me after that long but the bulk of the abuse I never forgot.