Glenster Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Hi guys! So Ive been feeling really uncomfortable as of late...Recently I met a bunch of people at an event, a couple of the dudes were VERY obviously trying to flirt with me and I don't know how to go about this AT ALL. One of them was really cool and we had a lot of fun talking, but then he'll start flirting and I just get SUPER uncomfortable to the point where ive been putting off talking to him bc I dont want to deal with it...The other guy was a HARD no- He'd be super passively creep flirting if that makes sense? Stuff like going a round about way of saying my hips look good (gross.) And then very passively asking if I was single, which isnt normally a creepy thing to say I guess, but it was really just the context and tone that made it really weird. ANYWAY he asked me if I was single and it was as if my brain just shutdown- All I wanted to say was that Im not really looking for a boyfriend and that Im aroace, but I couldnt spit it out bc I guess it sounds ...weird? or maybe it seems really random or maybe Im not ACTUALLY aroace and Id blow my chance of ever being in a relationship (which I DO want, but I just keep ruining my chances)??? So i guess what im trying to ask is how do I go about telling people Im aroace or how do I stop dashing away from any sign of flirting?? Any advice qould be extremely helpful Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Don't talk to them anymore and tell them to fuck off. Or threaten to shove your foot up their ass if they don't. Also saying off the walk, deranged, and excessively gory things helps too. Be a creep. ; ) Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 52 minutes ago, Glenster said: Stuff like going a round about way of saying my hips look good (gross.) And then very passively asking if I was single, which isnt normally a creepy thing to say I guess, but it was really just the context and tone that made it really weird. Ugggh. 53 minutes ago, Glenster said: So i guess what im trying to ask is how do I go about telling people Im aroace or how do I stop dashing away from any sign of flirting?? Any advice qould be extremely helpful If you don't want to say that you're aroace, just tell them, "Thanks, but I'm not very interested." Or alternatively tell them to fuck off. Link to post Share on other sites
majace Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 I'm guessing if you say I'm aroace they will have no idea what that is. If remotely you may still be interested, you can continue the relationship but just drop a line when needed to say that you are not into "romance" at all or something like that? If they leave then oh well. If they don't, then you have the opportunity to talk about it more and see where it leads you. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Just thoughts that come to mind: ask them back, bombard them with the questions you have. If you have happened to meet your match, this will spark it, if they think you are nuts, you've lost a couple of idiots, that's all. I know it sounds too easy, just really quick blizzards through my brain. Ask them, like... * Why do you ask me that? * Are you flirting with me? * Is it a relationship you are out after, or a one night stand? * Do you always sound so fishy? * Have you said that to many people? * And how do yo like my T-shirt? Just fire away. If they confuse you, you have to ask, it's that simple, else you continue to confuse yourself. And take the pressure off you to think that flirting must be to sort of catch someone, to make them feel pleasant until they want more of you. Maybe flirting should be directed more at yourself. Flirt with your brain, be curious to test if YOU fall for the other person. Feels like I'm playing a psychologist here, which I'm not. I just like to think out of the negative box to see what positive alternatives are available. Wish you good spirit! Link to post Share on other sites
Glenster Posted November 2, 2019 Author Share Posted November 2, 2019 49 minutes ago, elisabeth_II said: Ask them, like... * Why do you ask me that? * Are you flirting with me? * Is it a relationship you are out after, or a one night stand? * Do you always sound so fishy? * Have you said that to many people? * And how do yo like my T-shirt? Just fire away. If they confuse you, you have to ask, it's that simple, else you continue to confuse yourself. This was actually really helpful thank you! Usually I feel like the only way to confront it is head on and by IMMEDIATELY slamming the door- Ill definitely try this. My real issue is the total panic mode I go into when I am flirted with- I cant even begin to tell you how much I wish I could do this👇 1 hour ago, KrysLost said: Don't talk to them anymore and tell them to fuck off. Or threaten to shove your foot up their ass if they don't. Also saying off the walk, deranged, and excessively gory things helps too. Be a creep. To the gross creepy dude, not that nice friendly guy 😂 if it helps I DID shoot a flare and dashed outta there- im pretty consistently a flight kinda person- Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 10 hours ago, Glenster said: My real issue is the total panic mode I go into when I am flirted with- Hmm, how about carry around a small piece of paper that says something like: "Hold on for a few seconds, count to ten, calm down, what did they say on AVEN?" When you panic, read the note. It's your flirting note. Like Jumbo had the magic feather. Link to post Share on other sites
Glenster Posted November 4, 2019 Author Share Posted November 4, 2019 19 hours ago, elisabeth_II said: Hmm, how about carry around a small piece of paper that says something like: "Hold on for a few seconds, count to ten, calm down, what did they say on AVEN?" When you panic, read the note. It's your flirting note. Like Jumbo had the magic feather. Aaaaah youre too cool!! xD As jokingly sweet that suggestion may be, I want you to know that I am going to very much so do that 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 Good idea to say "What do you ask" They'll be expecting you to just answer their questions or thank them for their supposed compliment, and your question will cause them to stop, and realize you aren't naive. Link to post Share on other sites
thyristor Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 On 11/4/2019 at 6:15 AM, Glenster said: I am going to very much so do that 😊 And let us know if it works! 😃 I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 On 11/2/2019 at 8:50 PM, Glenster said: he asked me if I was single and it was as if my brain just shutdown *Are you single? No, I'm not. [And if you don't happen to wear a ring...] And before you ask, I don't wear a ring because I don't like jewellery. [If you do happen to wear a ring...] Haven't you noticed? [Show's ring by shoving hand at interlocutor's face] *Blah blah blahblahblah? Actually, I don't like intrusive questions either! Bye! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.