ValentinaRose Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 Okay so this is currently a big issue to me: I still haven’t figured out what I am. I’ve browsed in several websites but have never found anything for asexuals about liking girls or liking boys and girls. I have had feelings for more girls than boys, and it makes me think I’m just bi. But when I’m with my boyfriend I feel like I’m with a close friend. Is that just because I’m asexual? I feel different around him than I do girls, and not in a straight way. I’m not going to cheat or anything, it’s just confusing. To sum up: I’m ace and my boyfriend is the only boy I’ve liked, and I like girls more, but I’m a different way. Am I homoromantic? I honestly feel like a terrible person now. 😔 Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy ace Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 5 minutes ago, ValentinaRose said: honestly feel like a terrible person now First of all, previously being wrong about your orientation doesn't make you a horrible person. As for your feelings for guys and girls, all I can honestly say is that everyone experiences romantic attraction differently, which makes it hard to say how you feel about your boyfriend. Sorry about not being much help. Although I can say that I have viewed most of my crushes in life as more close friends than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
ValentinaRose Posted October 26, 2019 Author Share Posted October 26, 2019 23 minutes ago, crazy ace said: First of all, previously being wrong about your orientation doesn't make you a horrible person. As for your feelings for guys and girls, all I can honestly say is that everyone experiences romantic attraction differently, which makes it hard to say how you feel about your boyfriend. Sorry about not being much help. Although I can say that I have viewed most of my crushes in life as more close friends than anything else. You are honestly helping. It’s just weird - looking back, I felt more attracted to girls. He was an exception. I’m glad that you felt the same about crushes feeling like friends - it’s nice to know asexual people exist on a larger scale than just me, it gets confusing. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 Just because you’ve been more attracted to girls than boys doesn’t invalidate your feelings towards boys, especially not in the case of your boyfriend. Just because you’re bi doesn’t mean that the attraction is split 50/50. Sometimes it can be more complicated than that, and you can lean more towards one side than the other, but that doesn’t make your love of the other side any less valid or important. Link to post Share on other sites
ValentinaRose Posted October 27, 2019 Author Share Posted October 27, 2019 18 hours ago, Lichley said: Just because you’ve been more attracted to girls than boys doesn’t invalidate your feelings towards boys, especially not in the case of your boyfriend. Just because you’re bi doesn’t mean that the attraction is split 50/50. Sometimes it can be more complicated than that, and you can lean more towards one side than the other, but that doesn’t make your love of the other side any less valid or important. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
gemrisingbitch Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 Bi ppl aren’t 50/50 in all cases. You can be attracted to genders at varying degrees. While some bi people have no preferences, others do. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugar Clouds Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 It depends on how you feel. You can still be biromantic if you feel romantic attraction towards your boyfriend. I'll talk about my love experience here for a second. I've only had 3 crushes in my life time; 2 boys and 1 girl. I have never dated anyone. But does this mean I can't identify as bi? No. I can still identify as bi if that is what I feel fits me best. The same can go for you. Just because you've never had a crush on a boy until now doesn't mean you can't identify as bi. Everyone has different levels of attraction. I used to think I was attracted to girls more than boys too. But I figured out that I am more attracted to feminine people more than masculine people. Do you think femininity and masculinity could play a part in attraction? But if you find out you're homoromantic then that's ok too. It just means that maybe your boyfriend is a new close friend that you love to spend time with. I have a bestie that I've known since kindergarten and I love him very much, but in the platonic way. Also, you're not a bad person; everyone figures out their orientation differently in life. Sometimes people figure that out through experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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