SweetTart Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Something I’ve realized over the course of being flirted with and various romantic interactions is that it all seems like an act to me. I’m not really sure why, but it just never feels real. I never really feel the urge to flirt or do a lot of romantic things, so it feels like they’re just acting something out and I’m going along with it (sometimes). I 100% believe someone can truly mean the romantic things they do, I guess I just don’t relate to it as I’ve never felt the urge to act in a typically “romantic” way. So when romance is directed towards me it feels especially fake. I’ve enjoyed kissing before, but it felt like more of a sensual experience than romantic? I’ve been struggling with identifying exactly what my romantic orientation is. This sound familiar to any of you guys? I’d love to hear your own experiences and how you might relate. Link to post Share on other sites
squishward Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 I can totally relate! I have only been in one romantic relationship in my life when I was 21. The beginning “courting” phase definitely felt kind of unnatural or forced, like I was a whole different person when I was doing it. I guess I just thought it was the thing to do. It felt more natural when the relationship settled into more of a companionship, as they tend to do, but I still probably wouldn’t initiate any kind of traditional romantic relationship again. I have since developed alternative views of what sorts of relationships I’d be interested in. I loooooove flirting though, but... in a platonic way? Like I enjoy flirting with my friends in a playful manner where we don’t mean anything by it. It’s a way of expressing my affection and endearment to them. It’s also a sign of comfort within the friendship- the more comfortable with them I am, the more playful and “goofy” I get with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Sinking_In Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Isn't it, though? With romance, flirting, "game", etc, effort has to be put into such things. It may be easier for some than others, but an "act" nonetheless, however sincere or insincere. Sexual people may see merit to it, asexual people may not. The question is, are they doing it for you, or are they doing it for themselves? Most times I believe it is for both. Either way, take or leave it, it's a kind of compliment, whether welcomed or not, just be sure to make your stance on it known, because some romantically inclined people can be relentless with their advances. 1 hour ago, squishward said: The beginning “courting” phase definitely felt kind of unnatural or forced For my asexual wife it is the opposite, in the courting phase she felt a more natural inclination to be sex positive, and beyond the honeymoon stage is when it feels unnatural or forced for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Ive pictured it the same way as well, although to be fair I I guess, I see love/romance as transactional actions. You exhange your time and effort in trying to gain/gaining something from the other person Link to post Share on other sites
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