Maria Antonia Wednesday Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 This is an update regarding this post that I made back in late January: Once he broke up with me on the grounds that he is 'too busy' for a relationship and that my mental health issues were 'too severe' for me to be in a relationship with him, I blocked him on social media and from my phone number a few weeks later. After I had blocked him, he had updated his social media posts and profiles (all of which are public) mentioning his girlfriend (the one he was in a relationship with before he met me, and the one I had suspected he was two-timing with when he was dating me). I was disgusted with him and wanted nothing more to do with him even though it had taken me quite a while to get over him. Fast forward to 9 months later to today, I received an email from him which said - "Hi, I know I'm probably the last person you would want to hear from, but I was thinking about a memory of ours, and it me look back fondly. There's no need to respond, and I'm not expecting you to. I just hope you are okay and I'm worried about you!" Now I don't post anything on social media and the only people that really know about my personal life are close friends (none of whom know my ex), secondly, I just checked his social media accounts and he is still with the same girlfriend. So I am very confused regarding why he is so "worried" about me and more so, why he is contacting me at all given he is still with his current girlfriend. I'm sure that most people will reminisce on a memory of spending time with their ex(es) every once in a while, but I wouldn't have thought most people would then go out of their way to contact said ex about it (especially given that me blocking him on social media and via phone calls/text would have sent a pretty clear message that I don't want to talk to him). Do I even bother with a reply? Or do I just delete it and try and block him from my emails? Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I wouldn't reply. Screw that guy. Giving him the cold shoulder is the best. Unless you want to reply aggressively. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 29 minutes ago, Maria Antonia Wednesday said: "There's no need to respond, and I'm not expecting you to." Well, take him at his word, there. I wouldn't reply, unless you really wished to get in contact with him again (which you apparently don't). His feelings of worry about you, whatever may have caused them, aren't your problem, nor your responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 There isn't any "should" regarding what you should do at play here, other than you should do what you feel like. Personally, it seems to me like you'd rather not. Link to post Share on other sites
Chihiro Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Some exes simply can't let go of past relationship and they use the ruse of "worrying" to contact you and get you to talk to them in the hopes that you will again fall for them and they can again control you. Its a nice feeling for them when more than one person are into them, they probably feel like a king/queen of romance. Anyway, as others have said, delete the email, mark it as spam so any future emails from your ex will automatically get deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
Snow in the background Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Well... He may miss you for real. Love is complicated. It could be that he sees you as a means to an end. It can be something in between. I can't tell for sure. What I think is important is how this situation makes you feel. Would not responding cause you distress or uncomfort? Would responding cause you the same feelings? Do you see any long term gains in engaging/ not engaging in the conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
HOOTS Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 He's reminiscing a relationship through fond memories. Which is something everyone does after a relationship. I wouldn't respond or take action just yet. Wait until you've gathered your thoughts of what to do about this situation and then proceed. However there's always a chance that there is no ill-intent in his email. Opposite intentions are also true. To me, he seems like he just wants to reconnect in a way and perhaps just remain friends. Remember that you are not required to do anything. If you feel as though leaving him on "read" is the best option for you, then do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Memento1 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 As others have said, there is no should. We can't make this decision for you. If you only feel you should respond because it's the polite thing to do, he's given you a complete pass on needing to reply. It sounds like writing to you is helping him identify and work through his feelings. If you feel writing back would help you identify yours, it may be helpful. If you write back, do it because you think it will help YOU, not him. If you think you're more likely to fall into old bad habits or dredge up bitterness, don't. If you feel you'll get triggered by further correspondence, give yourself a pass to focus on your own emotional healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.