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Terminology questions


Fraggle Underdark

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Fraggle Underdark

So I'm pretty new here and I've heard about definition debates (mainly from AVEN memes thread). I can understand why some are interested in them but that's not what I'm looking for.

 

But I'm also still learning the lexicon. So I have some questions about words as they are used. That is: I am curious about what certain terms currently mean or which terms currently exist in general usage, rather than what they should mean. I also understand that some people use labels a little differently; please let me know if that is the case for the terms below.

 

Hopefully these are easy to answer. I looked at the lexicon on this forum and the AVEN wiki but couldn't find answers and wasn't sure where to look next.

 

Questions:

  • I had been using "allosexual" to mean someone "not within the asexual umbrella/spectrum" or more informally "someone who experiences normal/statistically-predominant sexual attraction". But I might have been using that word in a way no one else does. (Please note that this is the kind of answer I'm looking for: not what it should mean but what the speakers usually mean.) The linked lexicon says this means someone who experiences sexual attraction. So:
    • It sounds like it means "experiences sexual attraction", please correct me if this is not what is normally meant by this word.
    • Assuming that is what is meant: is there another word that means something like "typical sexuality" or "not within the asexual umbrella"? (As for why I'd like such a word: in the vast majority of situations I relate much more to asexual experiences and perspectives than typical ones, even though I have experienced sexual attraction for one person and hope to experience it again some day, and even then I'm asexual in every other relationship. As a reminder I'm not saying that "I'm actually/practically/officially asexual" I'm just asking for any existing term that highlights the similarities I feel.)
  • Is there a noun for "people within the asexual umbrella"? I had been using "ace" for this but perhaps this was an overly liberal interpretation of a line from the lexicon (which I understand is not scripture) of "Remember that asexuality is a spectrum and you do not necessarily have to be 100% asexual to still be considered an ace." Also from the asexuality meetup in Bojack Horseman which had a sign "All aces welcome".
  • Also: there is the term gray asexuality, but which is white and which is black? Is sexual black or is sexual whiteETA: found the answer to this by looking up the asexual flag colors

 

Thanks!

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Mackenzie Holiday

I'm pretty new too, but I think I can answer your questions. I've mostly conceptualized the definitions of these terms through the context of their usage on AVEN and beyond. But definitely take my answers with a grain of salt and listen to senior members who contradict me.

 

35 minutes ago, fragglerock said:

I had been using "allosexual" to mean someone "not within the asexual umbrella/spectrum" or more informally "someone who experiences normal/statistically-predominant sexual attraction". But I might have been using that word in a way no one else does. (Please note that this is the kind of answer I'm looking for: not what it should mean but what the speakers usually mean.) The linked lexicon says this means someone who experiences sexual attraction. So:

  • It sounds like it means "experiences sexual attraction", please correct me if this is not what is normally meant by this word.

 

From how I've seen it used, I don't know if the core focus of allosexual is the sexual attraction per se, demisexuals for instance can experience sexual attraction but are never referred to as allosexual. When it comes down to it, allosexual is used to refer to people who aren't under the ace umbrella, like how you've been using it. I've seen a striking similarity between how allosexual is used in the asexual community and how cisgender is used in the transgender community.

 

1 hour ago, fragglerock said:
  • Assuming that is what is meant: is there another word that means something like "typical sexuality" or "not within the asexual umbrella"?

The term I've usually seen used for "typical sexuality" is allosexual or just sexual.

 

1 hour ago, fragglerock said:

(As for why I'd like such a word: in the vast majority of situations I relate much more to asexual experiences and perspectives than typical ones, even though I have experienced sexual attraction for one person and hope to experience it again some day, and even then I'm asexual in every other relationship. As a reminder I'm not saying that "I'm actually/practically/officially asexual" I'm just asking for any existing term that highlights the similarities I feel.)

The term that's usually used for people who experience what you described about yourself, from what I've seen, is gray asexual or graysexual. Really anyone who has a mix of sexuality and asexuality to their experience is usually referred to as one of these.

 

54 minutes ago, fragglerock said:

Is there a noun for "people within the asexual umbrella"? I had been using "ace" for this but perhaps this was an overly liberal interpretation of a line from the lexicon (which I understand is not scripture) of "Remember that asexuality is a spectrum and you do not necessarily have to be 100% asexual to still be considered an ace." Also from the asexuality meetup in Bojack Horseman which had a sign "All aces welcome".

Asexual and ace as far as I can tell are interchangeable and refer to both the ace umbrella and the subset who aren't gray. Though, ace refers a little less to the subset. Like, no one will say "I'm not gray asexual, I'm just ace" but someone could easily discuss their asexuality, referring to themselves as ace, without considering the full umbrella to be a part of the discussion. I hope I'm getting across that very slight distinction there. But I've also seen gray asexuals just refer to themselves as asexuals or ace half the time for brevity's sake and that's not considered improper usage. So, basically, ace is a little more umbrella-y than asexual but not by enough to really think of it that way.

 

Anyway, I hope that helps!

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3 hours ago, fragglerock said:

Questions:

  • I had been using "allosexual" to mean someone "not within the asexual umbrella/spectrum" or more informally "someone who experiences normal/statistically-predominant sexual attraction". But I might have been using that word in a way no one else does. (Please note that this is the kind of answer I'm looking for: not what it should mean but what the speakers usually mean.) The linked lexicon says this means someone who experiences sexual attraction. So:
    • It sounds like it means "experiences sexual attraction", please correct me if this is not what is normally meant by this word.
    • Assuming that is what is meant: is there another word that means something like "typical sexuality" or "not within the asexual umbrella"? (As for why I'd like such a word: in the vast majority of situations I relate much more to asexual experiences and perspectives than typical ones, even though I have experienced sexual attraction for one person and hope to experience it again some day, and even then I'm asexual in every other relationship. As a reminder I'm not saying that "I'm actually/practically/officially asexual" I'm just asking for any existing term that highlights the similarities I feel.)

Allosexual actually translates as: Attracted to things other than yourself. It's the opposite of autosexual (attracted to yourself). Most non-asexual people really don't like the term allosexual, we prefer the term 'sexual' (meaning any kind of bi/pan/hetero/homosexual.. anything not ace).

 

I'm not ace, but no 'standard' orientation label really fits me, and I relate a lot more to asexuality than 'regular' sexuality (I've been physically completely celibate for 8 years now and am perfectly happy with that. If I ever meet the 'right' person someday I may desire some forms of sexual intimacy, but I just don't know how that will go so have to wait and see if it ever happens). So anyway around here I just say I'm sexual. Most sexual people on AVEN call themselves that. :)

 

 

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1 hour ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Allosexual actually translates as: Attracted to things other than yourself. It's the opposite of autosexual (attracted to yourself). Most non-asexual people really don't like the term allosexual, we prefer the term 'sexual' (meaning any kind of bi/pan/hetero/homosexual.. anything not ace).

Another problem with the term is that in (Canadian) French, "allosexuel" is used in the sense of "not heterosexual; part of LGBT".

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Is there a noun for "people within the asexual umbrella"? I had been using "ace" for this but perhaps this was an overly liberal interpretation of a line from the lexicon (which I understand is not scripture) of "Remember that asexuality is a spectrum and you do not necessarily have to be 100% asexual to still be considered an ace." Also from the asexuality meetup in Bojack Horseman which had a sign "All aces welcome".

Most of the people within this "umbrella" are probably gray-A or graysexual depending on which side of the fence they feel like they can relate to better.  I don't buy there being an asexual "spectrum", personally.  The whole point of there being a "gray" label is to be that whole Sorta Like It But Not Quite There spectrum.

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Fraggle Underdark

Follow-up question: is it considered strange for demisexuals not to call themselves "sexual"? I ask as this seems to be a preferred term for someone not asexual.

Follow-up question 2: thoughts on the word "grace" for "gray asexual person"? I know I've seen that one but seems infrequent, not sure if that's coincidence or people are avoiding it.

 

Amusing thought: using the term "white sexual" to contrast with asexuals (black) and gray (a)sexuals. Obviously not a good idea: sounds like the preferences of or for people with primarily European ancestry.

 

@Mackenzie Holiday Thank you for the detailed response. We seem to have come to similar conclusions about the words based on what we've read. 

 

6 hours ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Most non-asexual people really don't like the term allosexual, we prefer the term 'sexual' (meaning any kind of bi/pan/hetero/homosexual.. anything not ace).

Good to know, thanks for telling me! And I noticed that "allo-" as a prefix means "other" and thought that was curious.

 

It's also interesting to hear about someone who identifies with asexuality but also doesn't quite identify as gray-A either. So many ways to be! Seems kind of hopeless to come up with any ironclad categorization system. Even the idea of "under the asexual umbrella or not" seems to have gradients. Not that we need any categorization systems.

 

3 hours ago, Philip027 said:

I don't buy there being an asexual "spectrum", personally. The whole point of there being a "gray" label is to be that whole Sorta Like It But Not Quite There spectrum.

So far I've been taking the term asexual spectrum/umbrella just to mean, in practical use, "people who are asexual and also sorta like that".

 

 

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Fraggle Underdark

Another question: is there a good term for "not under the aromantic umbrella"? Some people are demisexual and demiromantic but I'm only demisexual. I had been saying I was "alloromantic" but is there another term for this besides "I'm romantic but not demiromantic" or worse "I experience romantic attraction in the way most people seem to"?

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