Bookcat Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been looking at AVEN on and off for maybe a year or so, trying to build up the courage to say something. Reading the forums here and seeing other people with similar experiences has been helping me build my confidence. I’m only 19, I’ve thought I’m Asexual for I think a year and a half (since I found out the term existed). I think that I might be aromantic too, but I’m really not sure. I’ve never had sex, so I don’t know if I’m actually ace, and I’ve never had any kind of romantic or physical relationship. I’ve just started university, and many of my flat mates talk about sex and boyfriends/girlfriends, and I feel strange and disconnected. I was wondering if anyone else had felt anything similar as well. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about my sexuality or my feelings to anyone or online, I’ve never told any friends or family. Link to post Share on other sites
RavenQueen Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 6 minutes ago, Bookcat said: This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about my sexuality or my feelings to anyone or online, I’ve never told any friends or family. Welcome to the ace space. I have not come out to anyone except for here; we are all by your side. Link to post Share on other sites
RosePhoenix Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 1 hour ago, Bookcat said: I’ve just started university, and many of my flat mates talk about sex and boyfriends/girlfriends, and I feel strange and disconnected. I was wondering if anyone else had felt anything similar as well. Hello kindred soul you're much like me two years back haha, I had just started university and kinda stumbled into discovery of being ace after thinking I was stupid and worthless for months because I couldn't understand the whole sex and dating interest. And ya soooo don't need to have sex or be in a relationship to know you're ace. So welcome friend, have some cake and feel free to message me if ya ever want someone to chat with Edit: What do you study in university? Link to post Share on other sites
twetzel59 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Bookcat said: I’ve just started university, and many of my flat mates talk about sex and boyfriends/girlfriends, and I feel strange and disconnected. I was wondering if anyone else had felt anything similar as well. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about my sexuality or my feelings to anyone or online, I’ve never told any friends or family. Welcome! and.. yea, absolutely! That's been my experience too. I'm a freshman in college here in Indiana, United States. It took a lot to tell my parents, and they still don't really get it. But, the great thing is, I understand myself a lot better since I started identifying as ace! Have some cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Bookcat Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 13 hours ago, RosePhoenix said: Edit: What do you study in university? Hi! I’m studying History of Art, and I’m loving it so far! Wbu? 12 hours ago, twetzel59 said: But, the great thing is, I understand myself a lot better since I started identifying as ace! I feel the same when. When I found the term and AVEN it was such a relief to find other people, and I feel better in myself knowing I’m not alone!🙂 12 hours ago, StrangeDruid said: Welcome to AVEN! Yes, as someone in my twenties, I also feel disconnected sometimes. All of my friends are so worried about being in a relationship, but the only thing I worry about is what to make for dinner LOL. I’m constantly thinking about food too! Cooking is one of my favourite things to do 😄 Thank you for all the cake 😋🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Welcome! Oh hey I’m 19 too. I’ve managed to avoid talking about sex luckily, but unfortunately for me the walls are thin 😬 Link to post Share on other sites
Bookcat Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 On 10/22/2019 at 9:14 PM, StrangeDruid said: Ditto! What do you like cooking? Curries are my go to I do love a good curry! I’ve started experimenting with cooking some Japanese food recently, so delicious! On 10/22/2019 at 10:16 PM, Lichley said: Welcome! Oh hey I’m 19 too. I’ve managed to avoid talking about sex luckily, but unfortunately for me the walls are thin 😬 Thankfully I’ve managed to just stay out of any conversations my new flatmates have had about sex, but I feel like as the year goes on it going to be harder to avoid 😰 Thin walls are such a problem, can I suggest earplugs 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 19 hours ago, Bookcat said: Thin walls are such a problem, can I suggest earplugs 😂 Yeah the problem is you have to be awake to put earplugs in 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 A very belated welcome to AVEN! I've felt the same way, and that's what lead me to realise that I'm Asexual. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Book" cake (all edible), http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/226599-book Link to post Share on other sites
RosePhoenix Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 On 10/22/2019 at 3:49 PM, Bookcat said: On 10/22/2019 at 2:15 AM, RosePhoenix said: Edit: What do you study in university? Hi! I’m studying History of Art, and I’m loving it so far! Wbu? Hey! Sorry, I've been off aven a bit, just seeing this. Thats so cool, glad your enjoying it! I'm a classics major myself (ie I study ancient civilizations around the Mediterranean) but right now I'm on exchange in the Netherlands doing some dutch studies and archaeology 😄 Link to post Share on other sites
Bookcat Posted November 7, 2019 Author Share Posted November 7, 2019 @MichaelTannock that book cake is gorgeous! and thank you for the welcome. ☺️ On 11/4/2019 at 2:19 AM, RosePhoenix said: I'm a classics major myself (ie I study ancient civilizations around the Mediterranean) but right now I'm on exchange in the Netherlands doing some dutch studies and archaeology 😄 That sounds super interesting, I'd love to study abroad, but I'm incredible tragic when it comes to learning languages! Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 You're welcome! I'm glad you like it. Link to post Share on other sites
RosePhoenix Posted November 17, 2019 Share Posted November 17, 2019 On 11/8/2019 at 12:13 AM, Bookcat said: MichaelTannock that book cake is gorgeous! and thank you for the welcome. ☺️ On 11/4/2019 at 3:19 AM, RosePhoenix said: I'm a classics major myself (ie I study ancient civilizations around the Mediterranean) but right now I'm on exchange in the Netherlands doing some dutch studies and archaeology 😄 That sounds super interesting, I'd love to study abroad, but I'm incredible tragic when it comes to learning languages! Aha, I wouldn't let that stop you! As far as the Netherlands goes, most poeple speak english very well, and when you need to you'd be surprised how far you can get with just smiling and nodding 😂. I've been trying to learn dutch while I'm here and while its pretty easy to get a handle on reading it I can barely speak four words🤦♀️. I can say "yes", "no", and "thank you" in dutch and thats about it. As a Canadian it pains me greatly that I still haven't been able to say "please" consistently. The dutch pronunciation is brutal to me. One day I will stop replying to things over a week later. Link to post Share on other sites
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