Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Traveler40

Visibility

Recommended Posts

Traveler40

And, as quoted from the article, is this accurate?

 

“Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.”

 

I have heard frequently that there is an aspie-ace connection, but never seen the above before.  Neither hold true for my husband, but I thought I’d heard most all of it, but never that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Laurann

There is a high correlation between asexuality and depression. Source https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/past-censuses/ (which is the survey the article was referring to)

This is probably because of the effects of anti-ace stigma and loneliness, as the summary report states. 

It could also be partially due to the overlap between ace communities and transgender/nonbinary communities.

 

I'm not sure about physical disabilities though. That wasn't a question in any of the surveys 2014-17. Don't know where they got that.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40
36 minutes ago, Laurann said:

I'm not sure about physical disabilities though. That wasn't a question in any of the surveys 2014-17. Don't know where they got that.

Yes, well it is CNN after all... Thanks for clearing that up.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
anisotrophic

When I came out as non-binary, someone very close to me very privately came out as asexual. (And after my spouse was privately reconsidering his bisexuality, but he's also private about that, so this other person couldn't have known it.) So I think the increasing visibility is real!

 

3 hours ago, Traveler40 said:

“Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.”

That looks like sloppy writing. 😕 elsewhere it states "Some medical and mental health professional may still misunderstand asexual identity. As a result, asexual people may be told that their lack of sexual desire is due to a mental illness or a disability."

 

There *is* a strong overlap with gender dysphoria and trans status, though.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
uhtred

I agree that better awareness of asexuality would have eliminated a lot of misery.  Most asexual / sexual marriages are unhappy, but if people don't know asexuality exists, how can they avoid them. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GlamRocker

It would be so cool, if one day, asexuality was as accepted as being gay is. Which is weird to say, because gays still experience so much discrimination! But at least people know what being gay IS, and that being gay is real. I mean, you're always going to have those people trying to turn you, gay people still experience that... but at least saying, "I'm asexual," would have weight. People would get it through their heads that they really ARE barking up the wrong tree. You wouldn't even have to go into the obligatory, "explain yourself," session... because asexuality is just a KNOWN OPTION.

 

I think it's true that if I'd known of the word, "asexual," in this context before 2009 (when I first heard it) I probably would have used it a couple of times in strictest confidence to explain myself to one or two people... possibly to my future husband. Though it is equally as true that I resisted the idea that I was fundamentally different from others for a LONG, LONG TIME... despite KNOWING I was at least a little different in a way I couldn't help. I still denied that I was fundamentally different until I could no longer delude myself.

 

Oh my god, I tried SO HARD to delude myself. Looking back on it, it's truly embarrassing. I feel like I was a guy in a pink sweater vest, holding his beloved chihuahua Mimi, playing his favorite Judy Garland album, saying admantly, "I love pussy!!!" In fact, this is exactly who I still am to the rest of the world, because I'll NEVER admit it openly. But I think it took so long to even internally face the facts because... I think I feel guilty? about being asexual?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Neutral Charge
On 10/20/2019 at 8:19 PM, Traveler40 said:

And, as quoted from the article, is this accurate?

 

“Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.”

 

I have heard frequently that there is an aspie-ace connection, but never seen the above before.  Neither hold true for my husband, but I thought I’d heard most all of it, but never that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

for some reason i feel that being asexual has  nothing to do with mental illness

you dont become mentally ill because you dont enjoy/like/want sex, you become mentally ill due to constant abuses from humans around you and the biological pre-set design of our brain.

being ace or not doesnt have as much relevance to mental illness, i personally think that its silly for the article to make that kind of affirmation, that implies that we are ace cause we are mostly ill.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40
8 hours ago, GlamRocker said:

Though it is equally as true that I resisted the idea that I was fundamentally different from others for a LONG, LONG TIME... despite KNOWING I was at least a little different in a way I couldn't help. I still denied that I was fundamentally different until I could no longer delude myself.

Thank you for this GlamRocker.  I started and stopped a post here at least 3 times, but you say it best.  I’d started thinking that even if my husband had known about asexuality, he wouldn’t have self identified.  Therefore, the pain wouldn’t have been averted.  
 

In time, awareness will make it better for some, but not all.  It’s still up to the individual to realize and own that which makes them who they are. Guilt has no place in that and, hopefully, that becomes clear to you in time. You’re here, owning it and figuring it out for the betterment of your relationship.  Just do the best you can as that’s all anyone can ask. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...