Traveler40 Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 I sure wish stories like this had hit the front page of any major news wire way back when.... https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/10/20/us/asexuality-explainer-trnd/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted October 20, 2019 Author Share Posted October 20, 2019 And, as quoted from the article, is this accurate? “Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.” I have heard frequently that there is an aspie-ace connection, but never seen the above before. Neither hold true for my husband, but I thought I’d heard most all of it, but never that. 🤷🏻♀️ Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 There is a high correlation between asexuality and depression. Source https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/past-censuses/ (which is the survey the article was referring to) This is probably because of the effects of anti-ace stigma and loneliness, as the summary report states. It could also be partially due to the overlap between ace communities and transgender/nonbinary communities. I'm not sure about physical disabilities though. That wasn't a question in any of the surveys 2014-17. Don't know where they got that. Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted October 20, 2019 Author Share Posted October 20, 2019 36 minutes ago, Laurann said: I'm not sure about physical disabilities though. That wasn't a question in any of the surveys 2014-17. Don't know where they got that. Yes, well it is CNN after all... Thanks for clearing that up. Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 When I came out as non-binary, someone very close to me very privately came out as asexual. (And after my spouse was privately reconsidering his bisexuality, but he's also private about that, so this other person couldn't have known it.) So I think the increasing visibility is real! 3 hours ago, Traveler40 said: “Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.” That looks like sloppy writing. 😕 elsewhere it states "Some medical and mental health professional may still misunderstand asexual identity. As a result, asexual people may be told that their lack of sexual desire is due to a mental illness or a disability." There *is* a strong overlap with gender dysphoria and trans status, though. Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I agree that better awareness of asexuality would have eliminated a lot of misery. Most asexual / sexual marriages are unhappy, but if people don't know asexuality exists, how can they avoid them. Link to post Share on other sites
GlamRocker Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 It would be so cool, if one day, asexuality was as accepted as being gay is. Which is weird to say, because gays still experience so much discrimination! But at least people know what being gay IS, and that being gay is real. I mean, you're always going to have those people trying to turn you, gay people still experience that... but at least saying, "I'm asexual," would have weight. People would get it through their heads that they really ARE barking up the wrong tree. You wouldn't even have to go into the obligatory, "explain yourself," session... because asexuality is just a KNOWN OPTION. I think it's true that if I'd known of the word, "asexual," in this context before 2009 (when I first heard it) I probably would have used it a couple of times in strictest confidence to explain myself to one or two people... possibly to my future husband. Though it is equally as true that I resisted the idea that I was fundamentally different from others for a LONG, LONG TIME... despite KNOWING I was at least a little different in a way I couldn't help. I still denied that I was fundamentally different until I could no longer delude myself. Oh my god, I tried SO HARD to delude myself. Looking back on it, it's truly embarrassing. I feel like I was a guy in a pink sweater vest, holding his beloved chihuahua Mimi, playing his favorite Judy Garland album, saying admantly, "I love pussy!!!" In fact, this is exactly who I still am to the rest of the world, because I'll NEVER admit it openly. But I think it took so long to even internally face the facts because... I think I feel guilty? about being asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Neutral Charge Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 On 10/20/2019 at 8:19 PM, Traveler40 said: And, as quoted from the article, is this accurate? “Many aces are disabled or have a mental illness, according to the community survey data.” I have heard frequently that there is an aspie-ace connection, but never seen the above before. Neither hold true for my husband, but I thought I’d heard most all of it, but never that. 🤷🏻♀️ for some reason i feel that being asexual has nothing to do with mental illness you dont become mentally ill because you dont enjoy/like/want sex, you become mentally ill due to constant abuses from humans around you and the biological pre-set design of our brain. being ace or not doesnt have as much relevance to mental illness, i personally think that its silly for the article to make that kind of affirmation, that implies that we are ace cause we are mostly ill. Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 8 hours ago, GlamRocker said: Though it is equally as true that I resisted the idea that I was fundamentally different from others for a LONG, LONG TIME... despite KNOWING I was at least a little different in a way I couldn't help. I still denied that I was fundamentally different until I could no longer delude myself. Thank you for this GlamRocker. I started and stopped a post here at least 3 times, but you say it best. I’d started thinking that even if my husband had known about asexuality, he wouldn’t have self identified. Therefore, the pain wouldn’t have been averted. In time, awareness will make it better for some, but not all. It’s still up to the individual to realize and own that which makes them who they are. Guilt has no place in that and, hopefully, that becomes clear to you in time. You’re here, owning it and figuring it out for the betterment of your relationship. Just do the best you can as that’s all anyone can ask. Link to post Share on other sites
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