JugglerGirl Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Hello! So. . . I have had a really hard time figuring out my sexuality after initially coming out as asexual to my Mom when I was 15 but then dating and subsequently getting married a few years ago kind of threw a spanner in the works. After splitting with my ex wife in no small part because our marriage didn't have much sex in it. I finally had the space I needed to just be a single person and spend a large ammount of time in self reflection and now I feel a huge sense of relief that there is a label I can give myself. The ability to, in a way lean on an identity/label that actually feels like a good fit has relieved so much pressure I felt to conform. For a long time I identified as pansexual and figured if I just kept trying I'd find someone or a situation where I felt attraction like "everyone else" left me feeling like there was something deeply wrong with me. I was confused because I definitely feel romantic attraction. Apologies, if I'm not using the terms correctly this is all very new to me and I'd be happy if anyone wishes to politely correct me. Anyways, holding hands and doing activities with a SO was something I enjoyed and having a partner gave me emotional support/ a safe space to open up BUT sex always felt like something I just wasn't working hard enough to enjoy. I assumed there were so few asexual people that I couldn't possibly be among them. Well not anymore. I no longer feel like I HAVE to have sex with anyone to be a complete human being and I just don't know how to express how liberating that is. *****just to clarify I'm aware of consent and feeling like I had to have sex was an internal pressure not external. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
JugglerGirl Posted October 20, 2019 Author Share Posted October 20, 2019 45 minutes ago, daveb said: Welcome! Ahhh juggling cake!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Welcome! Don’t worry you got the type of attraction right If you’re interested in learning about the types of attraction I’d commend this sketchcomic https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 Link to post Share on other sites
JugglerGirl Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
scarletlatitude Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 11 hours ago, JugglerGirl said: For a long time I identified as pansexual and figured if I just kept trying I'd find someone or a situation where I felt attraction like "everyone else" left me feeling like there was something deeply wrong with me. I used to feel similar. I figured I had to be sexual because that's what people are right? But when I found AVEN I was like wait what? This is a thing? There are people like me? Welcome to the community! Link to post Share on other sites
JugglerGirl Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 I was convinced I was just extremely repressed, I mean I was in a way. . . So happy this place exists!!! And thanks!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 A belated welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Juggling Tiger" cake (all edible), http://cakesdecor.com/cakes/332810-juggling-tiger Link to post Share on other sites
JugglerGirl Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 Thank you!! This cake thing is just grand! Link to post Share on other sites
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