How Do I Figure Out My Gender?

[Arietta]

I've been recently questioning my gender and I'm not really sure how I identify. I generally say I'm fine with any pronouns but I have a special place in my heart for ae/aer/aers pronouns. When someone asks my gender, I don't really have an answer, and I default to "I'm a girl" or "I'm female" because I don't have a better answer. I thought this may mean I'm agender? Maybe not? 

The term genderqueer really clicks with me, but I'm hesitant about using it, as I've seen some people considering it as a synonym for nonbinary (which I'm not. At least...I don't think I am. I'm pretty sure). 

So my question is, what do I sound like? 

 

(note: this question and its response really resonated with me)

 

Thanks!

—Ari

[Rynn]

Well, agender is also a subtype of nonbinary. 'Nonbinary' means 'doesn't fit within the binary,' and people who are agender clearly don't fit within the binary, so I don't really see how you could be agender without being nonbinary.

I think cisgenderless would be a good word to look into for you, just like coddiwomple suggested in that other thread.

 

Agender (at least for me) is more of a 'I very much don't identify as a man, and I very much don't identify as a woman'-type thing, with all the gender dysphoria and euphoria that that entails.

[PoeciMeta]

30 minutes ago, Laurann said:

Well, agender is also a subtype of nonbinary. 'Nonbinary' means 'doesn't fit within the binary,' and people who are agender clearly don't fit within the binary, so I don't really see how you could be agender without being nonbinary.

I agree. 

Cisgenderless, which you mentioned, is harder to determine though. I haven't looked much into it because I'm not cisgenderless, but if it's considered as some kind of 'apathetic cis' subtype, it could be considered binary? Whereas if it's more being like agender (as in having no gender feelings, so it's different from what you wrote in your second paragraph) but also being okay with AGAB and identifying with it for convenience's sake, it could be more nonbinary-ish... again, I don't know much about this specific identity... 

So yeah, OP, if you end up identifying as cisgenderless, well, that wouldn't make you necessarily non-binary. I guess. Kinda up to you? 

Edit: genderqueer isn't really the same thing as non-binary, either, it can include binary trans people~

 

(As a very irrelevant side note, Laurann, I relate in that being agender involves really not feeling like a man or a woman, or anything else, for me too.)