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Help I don’t know my romantic orientation


Acethetic my dudes

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Acethetic my dudes

So: I know I’m asexual, but I don’t know what my romantic orientation is anymore. I thought I was demiromantic, but i don’t know if I’ve ever actually felt romantic attraction, or just felt pressured to “feel it” so I made myself think I was romantically attracted to someone. But like in some cases I figured out for sure that I just thought I was romantically attracted to them. I feel like I love the idea of romance, but I don’t if I actually feel romantic attraction, or just want to feel it. Help? The closest I found was cupioromantic, but it still doesn’t fit?

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Cole's Username

Hey sorry you're getting so worried about this, it sounds like a lot of pressure and stress on you. Remember that the labels aren't the definition of you, and that you can just be who you are. If you believe that right now you're aromantic, it's 100% valid to identify yourself as aromantic even if that changes in the future. Grayromantic is also something that can be a good identity for yourself if that's who you feel you are.

 

At the end of the day I totally get the struggle of trying to figure out how you feel about romanticism. The brain is complicated enough as is, and it can be very difficult to pinpoint just what exactly your feelings are. Ultimately I'd try not to worry so much about what you felt in the past and focus more on what you feel now in the present and how you imagine you'll continue to in the future. 

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Acethetic my dudes
2 hours ago, Cole's Username said:

Hey sorry you're getting so worried about this, it sounds like a lot of pressure and stress on you. Remember that the labels aren't the definition of you, and that you can just be who you are. If you believe that right now you're aromantic, it's 100% valid to identify yourself as aromantic even if that changes in the future. Grayromantic is also something that can be a good identity for yourself if that's who you feel you are.

 

At the end of the day I totally get the struggle of trying to figure out how you feel about romanticism. The brain is complicated enough as is, and it can be very difficult to pinpoint just what exactly your feelings are. Ultimately I'd try not to worry so much about what you felt in the past and focus more on what you feel now in the present and how you imagine you'll continue to in the future. 

Thank you! I understand that labels aren’t super important; however, to me, I actually find relief in a label, since I can finally put to words what I am feeling. Like when I found out I what asexual was, and connected that that was how I feel, I was so relieved to figure out what I felt was how some other people felt. 

 

My personal problem is that what I thought I was might not fit. I really want romance, and love reading romance comics, (not so much in the movies, since it’s very sexually driven a lot of the time), but what I’m trying to figure out is what does romantic feelings actually feel like, or has it been aesthetic attraction? Or even platonic?

 

I’m probably more frustrated about my romantic orientation being such a complicated puzzle, since I clicked immediately with asexual when I found out about it, and my romantic attraction is just confusing and I don’t even know what it is. 

 

thank you for your response. I really do appreciate the support. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
ChaoswithCake

that sounds a lot like me! (Maybe gray-asexual is a better label? I personally just stick to aro or none) I totally get what you mean by thinking you like someone and then realizing you've convinced yourself that you do. It's really surreal. Lithromantic may also be a label you want to into? 

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