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confused_nerd

idk i am confused...

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confused_nerd

Well at first I want to say hey, I am new here.

I just read about asexuality about a week ago. And I don't know how I feel. Like on one hand I feel like the term describes me, but on the other hand I am like maybe it doesn't, I am still a teenager and have never been in a relationship or even had a crush...

The thought of having sex has alway rather disgusted me than been something a wanted to do. But I thought when I met someone I that would change, and it was just normal. When I look at other people I often think they are/aren't good looking, but isn't that normal? I don't know... Also I really ship people from books and stuff, but when I think about them, they are always laughing or talking together, or sometimes cuddling or kissing. It just feels kinda weird and disgusting to me even imagining them (or me...) having sex.

Since I read about asexuality I thought about it quite a lot and I am still confused. How should I know whether I experience sexual attraction when I don't think I have ever felt it?

 

I haven't talked to anyone about it yet and I hope with trying to share my weird thoughts and hopefully get some feedback and maybe even find new friends, will help me getting rid of my confusion...

And btw English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if I make mistakes...

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CCVampireGirl

Hi, I'm unsure too. Like I feel I maybe asexual but I don't know because I've never been in a relationship either but I can't picture myself in a sexual relationship and I don't feel like its something I'd ever want either, but I don't know because I've never been in a relationship with anyone.

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confused_nerd
55 minutes ago, CCVampireGirl said:

Hi, I'm unsure too. Like I feel I maybe asexual but I don't know because I've never been in a relationship either but I can't picture myself in a sexual relationship and I don't feel like its something I'd ever want either, but I don't know because I've never been in a relationship with anyone.

Thanks for answering, eventhough you don't know if you're asexual yourself! That's kinda how I feel too...

Believe it or not, it actually helps to know i'm not the only one who doesn't really know... 😅

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fragglerock

Welcome!

 

You might experience aesthetic attraction (which is liking someone's appearance in a similar way to enjoying a beautiful painting or waterfall - no desire to kiss it or even cuddle it), and still not experience romantic or sexual attraction. And there are other types like sensual attraction, only the desire to cuddle etc.

 

I'm demisexual and I used to assume other people felt like I do (because why wouldn't they?). But it seems that allosexual people do actually have some part of their mind that enjoys the idea of having sex with some others. I've only had that for one person and it was only after getting to know them really well.

Quote

How should I know whether I experience sexual attraction when I don't think I have ever felt it?

The good thing is that you don't have to be sure :) You can just use whatever label you feel fits you at the time or no label at all if you like. And if you find out later you are allosexual or demisexual or something else then you can use that label or again just go without, all up to you.

 

Here are some xkcd welcome cupcakes

7022817415_ae712431a4_b.jpg

 

 

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Earth and Moon

Hi! Welcome to AVEN! 💜

2 hours ago, confused_nerd said:

Also I really ship people from books and stuff, but when I think about them, they are always laughing or talking together, or sometimes cuddling or kissing. It just feels kinda weird and disgusting to me even imagining them (or me...) having sex.

I feel the same way about characters in books! I generally think of couples cuddling, kissing, and being friendly toward each other, and it disgusts me to think of them as having sex at all. Especially when I think about myself, I think of myself as someone who would cuddle (and maybe kiss) and talk to my significant other, but nothing more.

2 hours ago, confused_nerd said:

And btw English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if I make mistakes...

Also, your English is great!

And there’s nothing wrong with questioning/being confused (I’m still doing some questioning, too). I hope you find what your looking for! 👍👍😁

Here’s some cake! 🍰🍰

BoiqnD_g02C-png__700.jpg

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confused_nerd

Thanks for your answers! And also for the cakes, they look delicious! 😂🥰

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confused_nerd

thank youuuuu the comic is great! 😁

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MichaelTannock

A belated welcome to AVEN!

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a "Adventure Time, Rick and Morty, Studio Ghibli and Star Wars" cake (all edible),

TocEIva.jpg

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confused_nerd

Thanks! I love the cake!

I love how this community is so welcoming!

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scarletlatitude
On 10/17/2019 at 5:25 PM, confused_nerd said:

Since I read about asexuality I thought about it quite a lot and I am still confused. How should I know whether I experience sexual attraction when I don't think I have ever felt it?

It's totally okay to be confused and questioning. A lot of us are. You just gotta find what feels right for you. 

 

And adding onto the welcome train! Have cake! :cake::cake::cake:

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MichaelTannock
17 hours ago, confused_nerd said:

Thanks! I love the cake!

I love how this community is so welcoming!

You're welcome! I'm glad that you feel welcome.

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Asexual_Fujoshi

Welcome to Aven! Here's some cake,

df0642148d96e80e8773c44a6411adb2.jpg

If asexuality feels comfortable like a comfortable label, then you should go ahead and use it!

 

A persons labels, or identity may be changed several times in a person's life, so you don't need to worry if it's "correct for life", just needs to be good for right this second~

 

Also your English is AMAZING, thought you were fluent, with it. No mistakes & easy to understand :)

 

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confused_nerd

Thanks! Ok that helps!

Quote

Also your English is AMAZING, thought you were fluent, with it. No mistakes & easy to understand

Thanks, that always feels great to hear 😂😅

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